I struggle to cope when my children are sick

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I feel like a horrible mother and an awful person but I can't cope when my children are sick. Like throwing up sick. I can handle colds, infections, chicken pox, blood anything but sick sends me over the edge. My DD has been a bit sick, DH was sick last night and now I think DS is coming down with it and it's taking all my will power not to run away and leave it behind. I feel like no other mother would want to abandon their children when they're ill but anxiety takes over and I can't think logically anymore. I need some serious help

Do you have emetaphobia? (Not sure if that's spelt right but a fear of sick/ being sick)

If so, that's completely understandable that you feel like that.

Otherwise maybe it's just the pressure of it all, the mess, the worry etc.

I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed as a parent, especially when children are unwell

Wishing them all better

Yes, I have experienced these feelings too, particularly the desire to run away. I don't think you should feel guilty, as this is a much more common fear than you realise. You CAN do this, you WILL get through it. This too shall pass.

Oh yes. This is my life. Live in fear of the kids getting sickness bugs and am on edge through most of winter. It’s a depressing way to live.

I’m seeing a therapist about it but it’s tough going - the best treatment is exposure therapy and it’s really hard forcing yourself to do the things you want to avoid.

I got to breaking point tonight and ended up in urgent care. They gave me diazepam and suggested I sleep at my parents so poor DH is looking after poorly DS but I'm just not coping. I feel guilty and a little ashamed

Don’t feel guilty OP. It’s not something you’ve chosen. Some people are very scathing of this phobia (assuming that’s what you have). It’s not a case of simply ‘not liking’ being sick. It can be debilitating.

that said, I would (gently) encourage you not to give in to the urge for avoidance. I understand you feel at breaking point hence going to your parents, and that’s fine of course, but generally avoiding the feared situation simply reinforces the anxiety. It’s utterly shit but unfortunately the only way through is to ‘expose’ yourself to the fear (ideally gradually, but that can’t really be done when you’re confronted with a bug!) and learn to tolerate the anxiety. Otherwise, you never learn that you can deal with it and although the anxiety temporarily goes down, it just cements the idea in your head that it’s the worst thing ever/ you can’t handle it etc.

I sympathise greatly.

Is there something that has caused this? If you needed to go to urgent care for diazepam purely for a fear of sick I wonder if there's something else going on? You definitely need to get control of it because sickness bugs are a fact of life.

You really shouldn't feel ashamed, but need to get to the bottom of why you struggle so much.

I have a child with chronic illness. It's tough, but I had to deal with it. I don't find it easy either. But I can cope. So maybe I'm lucky. But if you find it so difficult to deal with children being sick, you do need to seek help, imo. Children will get ill. And they need support, loving care from parents. It must be so horrible if their parents seems unable to comfort them. But it's easier said than done. Seek help. And hopefully you can find some solutions.

I am exactly the same.

if my kids are anyone are sick I go very faint, feel very clammy and feel very sick myself - it's awful

It's not just that, there's a whole load of things I'm struggling with. I feel trapped and unsafe at home and I don't know what to do