Speech delay and starting school

[Itiswhatitis21]

Good evening everyone
I am just looking for advise on anyone else who has been through similar.
My 4 year old (5 in December) starts Reception in just over 2 weeks, and i am absolutely terrified of how he will manage 😢
Due to covid and general long waits with NHS he has not had much speech therapy, and i hate how i can't afford private speech therapy (although i am going to see if i can scrape money together to try)
He has had 1 face to face appointment, and that's all.
He is a sociable boy and was popular in play group, but this has not stopped me constantly worrying how he will manage.
What has made me feel worse is yesterday at the park he tried playing with a little boy (around 5 yrs old) and the boy thought my little one called him a girl, the boy replied by threatening to hit him 😔 he didn't call him a girl, but he can be difficult to understand. So scared this will happen in school, as we all know some kids can be rather unkind.
We are still at the stage where holding a conversation is difficult.

Please if anyone has been in a similar situation and can reassure things did get better i would really appreciate it.

My ds started school with few speech sounds due to oral/verbal dyspraxia. Generally the teachers and other kids could not understand him at first. He had input from SALTs all through primary school - with lots of exercises to work on at home. Slowly things improved. He made a small core of friends over time - def the gentler boys. He’s a young man now who has just finished a degree! He’s sociable, funny and just moving into a house share with one of those gentler boys :-) I wish I’d had a crystal ball back when he was little and could see how it would work out as like you I was so worried for him.

There was a child with a speech delay in one of my dc's class. The children understood him very quickly, better than anyone else including his parents. It was rather sweet as the other children would stand next to him "translating"

DS1 was very similar. His reception teacher once commented that "he understands much more than we thought!" because his speech was so delayed that she couldn't understand him at all and thought he couldn't understand her. He had intensive speech therapy throughout infants school and gradually got easier for them to understand. He has a diagnosis of Dyspraxia and Autism but is about to go into his second year at uni and is doing okay.

Obviously depends on the school but at my kids school there is a school speech and language therapist for the area that is allocated to a number of schools. The school make referrals where necessary. Speak to the teacher in the first week to get the ball rolling. x

My son started school with quite bad speech delay, couldn’t really say much at all and he was also alate August baby. Then we had lock downs spreading over two years and it all seemed a bit grim. The problem with speech problems is that people make the assumption the child isn’t very bright. He was getting so far behind…
anyway he is now going into year 3 and has caught up with everything except handwriting and Pe. He is still under special needs as his speech still isn’t perfect but he can be largely be understood now. He never had too many issues making friends though.

My son was quite delayed in speech starting school, most people couldn’t understand him. School were going to give him a statement after reception. He just took time to mature- he was august born. He hes just gotten top grades in all his GCSEs.

Thank you for the reassurance
My little lad like mentioned by you all can understand alot more than he can express verbally
Its only recent he has been able to make sentences, which i am so pleased about.

I really hope he will be okay, he don't start till 12th so in the first week of school reopening before reception starts i am going to try meet with his new teacher

Thank you again

Hi op...my DD has a speech disorder and started reception with minimal speech. I understood most of what she said but other people didn't. She was also very shy. Her school were very supportive. Teachers were great with her. In terms of friendships and the other children, many assumed she couldn't speak English. This wasn't said in malicious way, they genuinely just thought she didn't. She did make friends though. The kids accepted her and got used to it though. Occasionally if a new child started they would comment on her speech but the other kids would stick up for her and eventually the new child got used to it. She has just finished primary school and by the end had a firm friendship group. Hope it all goes well for your little boy...the fact he is sociable is a definite plus.

Reception teacher here.

Kids are amazingly tuned in their peers. I'm sure your DS will be accepted and make friends just fine.

Try not to worry 💐 x

Similar situation here with my nearly 5 year old about to start full time school, even down to children thinking he speaks another language.
Can I ask @Comedycook , has your DD speech improved and is that through private SLT or any other method? The SLT we've had via NHS is awful, box ticking and impersonal. So far DC has improved very slowly with help from nursery TA but they will be much deceased sessions this year

Hi OP..
I can completely relate to your situation so thought I’d quickly send a reply..
My sons speech wasn’t great when he started a school, unlike your little one he really struggled with most friendships and my heart was always broken when other children didn’t understand him.. he had loads of speech therapy and I honestly worried so much about his future..
fast forward 10 years (he’s now 15) and his speech is fine.. in fact he’s incredibly articulate ..he literally talks so much He can drive me to distraction at times lol..
Try not to worry.. he won’t be the only child with speech delay.. it’s not a reflection on you as a mum.. some kids just develop certain skills at different times.. and once he starts school and is chatting all day to classmates you will see lots of positive changes throughout his primary schooling.
Good luck x

@TheresALight my DD had speech therapy through the NHS from age 4-10 then they discharged her. We then paid for some private therapy. I practise with her now. She's nearly 12 now and her speech is amazing compared to what it was like when she started school. Still not perfect but everyone can understand her now. At 4, only I could really understand her. She was incredibly shy in her early years but her confidence has grown over time. Wish your boy all the best for starting school.

Thanks for the reply @Comedycook
It's reassuring to hear everyone's responses

I have no experience but I am also in the same boat, my daughter starts school on Tues and has what I think will be diagnosed as a language disorder. She has 2/ 3 word sentances but that's all and not much speech to other kids cos although sociable she's definitely aware therr speech is better than hers and sometimes they speak to quick for her to understand. I feel sick about it. However she does have an EHCP for some 1: 1 hours. Xx

Hi op,

I don’t have any advice as we are in exactly the same boat so just wanted to say I can relate.

My DD who will be 5 in December, has speech and fine motor delay (currently under assessment for dyspraxia) has just started reception and my anxiety is in overdrive. Like you it breaks my heart to think other children could potentially be unkind.

Her speech has improved greatly in the last year, and I’m finally able to have some back and forth conversations. However due to speech sound errors when she speaks to people who don’t know her they often look at me to translate.

She however is taking it all in her stride and is excited about starting ‘big school’ I’m just finding the huge difference between preschool and big school so difficult. Her preschool was so intimate and we got feedback daily etc… she really flourished there and now I feel like she’s just going off into the big bad world.

Before the speech was really my only real concern but now I’m worrying about her development when it comes to learning to read/write etc…..

I fully appreciate I’m an over thinker/worrier but I just love her to bits and never want her to feel any less than amazing.

sorry I have totally rambled, I have just read these sorts of threads for years but have never replied or posted. But I really related.

best of luck to you and your little one x

@scrunchSE18 Thanks so much for your post - I've been worried so bad about my DS (3) who only says a handful of words and this has given me some hope ❤️

I had exactly this. DD started school with no speech ( maybe a couple of sounds ) and I couldn't imagine how that would possibly work. She had a diagnosis of severe verbal dyspraxia and didn't have anything like fluent speech until she was 7-8.
She always had friends, though I did wonder if this was partly because she couldn't argue so other children found her agreeable!
In reality there's a huge range of ability in speech as in everything else and most children don't see anything unusual in one that doesn't say much, especially in the first few years. She did have years and years of intense therapy.

FWIW DD is now in her A level year and going to apply to do Speech and Language therapy .... that's something I really wasn't expecting