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Online friend dying

41 replies

Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 20:51

Just needing to air my feelings.
I made friends with a girl online during lockdown. We are both single parents and have children similar ages.
I don't have any other single parent friends, she really has been the only one to really get me and give me the support and voice notes I've needed!
We've met up but chat more on messenger as she isn't local to me.
She had cancer last year. She rang the bell but it returned. Her chemo treatment didn't work initially and last week I stopped hearing from her.
She's posted online breifly she's in a hospice.
I don't know any of her friends or family to be kept up to date which is absolutely understandable, as I said I'm not local and they wouldn't even know me but I just feel like I've been hit like a bus.
I probably won't get to message her again.
I just feel so very deeply sad 😢

OP posts:
Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 22:17

@noclothesinbed I've messaged her lots but she's stopped replying don't think she's well enough to use her phone a lot and expect she's getting a lot of messages off people.
I have just ordered a card off thortful to send.
Sorry you find it strange but as I put in my OP o have only just found out. Processing it all.

OP posts:
Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 22:20

Thanks for the kind replies from most.
I'm going to send a card to the hospice, what else should I do? I saw someone mentioned a donation? I'm just wondering what would make her feel special.

So sorry to hear others who have been through this. This has knocked the wind out of me and I semi knew it was coming when she went quiet last week, I can't imagine those that were totally blindsided 🥺

I somehow found myself scrolling down her fundraising page and saw the video of her ringing the bell. How can this be happening 😢

OP posts:
Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 22:21

@Zone2NorthLondon it's ok, my reaction is just because of how I'm feeling tonight. But thanks for the message.

OP posts:
Doable · 28/08/2022 22:26

It's hard losing a friend. When we're grieving it's often hard to know what to do or say.
From my experience of loss I would suggest if you send a card to your friend saying "thinking of you, love Cupoftea " it will be received as a kind message. If you send a card to her family c/o the hospice, again with a very simple message, eg " Dearfriend has been a good friend and a great support to me over the past few years. I'm so sad her cancer has returned and I am thinking of you all especially her child who is about the same age as my own. Love, Cupoftea" I am sure it would be a positive thing to receive.
There is a great company called friendinabox who do letterbox sized gifts including for someone in hospital. I first recieved one after a bereavement.

I'm sure this must be very hard for you in so many ways, genuinely I am thinking of you x

weebarra · 28/08/2022 22:30

I'm so sorry. It's a weird feeling.
I had cancer and posted on the cancer threads here. Became friends with a couple of people who have now died. It's very hard to know what to do because although you are close, people don't always appreciate that.
When my friends died, I spent time thinking about them and donated to their causes. Because they died during lockdown, I was also able to virtually attend their funerals, which helped.

SunnyD44 · 28/08/2022 22:47

I hate things like this it’s so sad!

I would definitely send her a message and card as she may not be able to reply but she’ll still see them

Like you said she will be busy with family right now and I hope that she pulls through.

How did you meet?

Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 22:59

SunnyD44 · 28/08/2022 22:47

I hate things like this it’s so sad!

I would definitely send her a message and card as she may not be able to reply but she’ll still see them

Like you said she will be busy with family right now and I hope that she pulls through.

How did you meet?

During lockdown I joined a new mum support group on Facebook for our county/area and I made a post on there just introducing myself and explaining I was a single mum to a baby Born during lockdown etc... anyway she messaged me as she was in the same position! She came into my life exactly when I needed a friend like her. I don't k ow how I'd have got through a lot without having her.
When I say we don't live local, it's just a Quick 40 mins in the motorway but with lockdowns and her having cancer and treatment we never got to meet up all that frequently. We had planned to do lots over the summer which didn't happen when she got poorly again.
But she has been such a wonderful friend to me and I'm just so great full she came into my life when she did.

OP posts:
Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 23:00

Doable · 28/08/2022 22:26

It's hard losing a friend. When we're grieving it's often hard to know what to do or say.
From my experience of loss I would suggest if you send a card to your friend saying "thinking of you, love Cupoftea " it will be received as a kind message. If you send a card to her family c/o the hospice, again with a very simple message, eg " Dearfriend has been a good friend and a great support to me over the past few years. I'm so sad her cancer has returned and I am thinking of you all especially her child who is about the same age as my own. Love, Cupoftea" I am sure it would be a positive thing to receive.
There is a great company called friendinabox who do letterbox sized gifts including for someone in hospital. I first recieved one after a bereavement.

I'm sure this must be very hard for you in so many ways, genuinely I am thinking of you x

Thank you so much for your very kind thoughts ♥️
I hadn't thought of sending her family a card to the hospice but I really like that idea!

OP posts:
Crazyperi · 28/08/2022 23:10

Cupofteaonesugar · 28/08/2022 22:59

During lockdown I joined a new mum support group on Facebook for our county/area and I made a post on there just introducing myself and explaining I was a single mum to a baby Born during lockdown etc... anyway she messaged me as she was in the same position! She came into my life exactly when I needed a friend like her. I don't k ow how I'd have got through a lot without having her.
When I say we don't live local, it's just a Quick 40 mins in the motorway but with lockdowns and her having cancer and treatment we never got to meet up all that frequently. We had planned to do lots over the summer which didn't happen when she got poorly again.
But she has been such a wonderful friend to me and I'm just so great full she came into my life when she did.

OP the explanation above of how you met and what she meant to you would be gratefully received by family. I would send that in a card via the hospice. I’ve been in a similar-ish position and the family absolutely loved the memories I shared as it was incidents they weren’t aware of. Sending you big hugs. Your friend would be flattered you care so much and will be willing you on to find more friends to share your life with ❤️ 💐

CPL593H · 28/08/2022 23:11

@Doable 's advice is really good, do contact her and her family

I am sorry, I lost a close friend very suddenly many years ago and it was so painful, more I have to say than quite a few relatives.

I'm sure she appreciates your friendship as much as you do hers Flowers

GlueyMooey · 28/08/2022 23:14

Ive a bit of a different take on things but you could chose to do bothing apart from sending a card. She will have her close (physically) friends and family there to support her. As a physically distant friend then I think you can, maybe, just send a card and leave it at that. Maybe you can put your contact details in it just in case.

It's normal to feel like you want to DO something in situations like this but often it's just a way of trying to cope.
You've obviously been a great friend to her and played an important part in her life over the last few years. Sometimes online friends can be very important even if they look like more casual friendships.
It's not unusual to feel blindsided by something like this especially when it's someone so young. It's very sad.

ThreeLocusts · 28/08/2022 23:15

OP so sorry. I lost a close friend last year, over a year ago and I just bloody miss her. It stinks that ppl just die like that.

I'd consider going to the hospice with a bunch of flowers and enquiring if there's a good time to drop them off with her yourself. She's not her family's property and why should they object?

In my limited experience people at death's door are glad to know someone's thinking of them.

ThreeLocusts · 28/08/2022 23:17

Oh, and you don't need to have clever things to say. Just a chat, or maybe a foot massage.

HilarityEnsues · 28/08/2022 23:41

I don't think it's a question of being her family's property, it's just that dying is a very private and difficult thing to do. When my husband was dying, there was a week in which a few close friends were able to visit, but I felt it was more for their sakes than his, it can be quite difficult if you are very compromised appearing for others, and then there were the last couple of weeks in which he absolutely didn't want anyone except very close family, and the last week he was in and out of a coma. My friend was in 6 weeks and it was very close family only at that stage.

The difficulty is the OP doesn't have contact with a close family member or friend, which is why dropping a note with your telephone number in is a really helpful thing to do for the family as they won't know about you otherwise. Or just send one to the person and they can read it out.

It is also the case that when young popular people die, having been ill for years, they have a huge amount of friends, supporters and family who all want to be involved, but not everyone can see them without it overwhelming the person involved- and ultimately, if you were incontinent, unable to walk, unable to eat or in the last stages of dying, would you want to appear in front of people, sometimes there are other things going on as well (agitation, hallucinations), all kinds, depending how the cancer has spread, especially if it spreads to the brain, so there are good reasons why even close friends may not be able to visit up til the last.

It does not mean you did not matter to that person, nor that your relationship wasn't really special. It does mean it's coming gracefully to an end though and that's really sad. I just wanted to explain why people may limit access even to good friends towards the very end (and others may not, which is why contact details on a card is the best way forward).

Nat6999 · 28/08/2022 23:53

I've lost two friends over the last couple of years where our main contact was through social media. One was my late dp's best friend who I had chatted to on FB messenger & the phone, I had messaged him & got no reply & then saw a message on his profile about his funeral, he had sadly died from alcoholism like my late dp. The other one was my best friend right from Junior school, we had reconnected through FB, I knew she was ill as she had complications from type 1 diabetes, she had lost a leg & they were having to remove more & more of her other foot & leg, again I had messaged her with no reply & her brother posted that she had died.

Cupofteaonesugar · 29/08/2022 09:48

Thanks so much b for the replies and those sharing their experinces.
Again sorry if I was snappy last night I was just in shock.
I've decided that I'm not going to turn up at the hospice. I really want to respect her families privacy at such a difficult time. She had a bug family and lots of friends so I understand that they come first and I just don't want to take away any time.
I've sent her a voice note today hoping she might listen to it as it'll be easier then reading. I'm thinking I might ring the hospice later and ask them if there's any gesture I can send that would be appropriate.
I just can't stop thinking about her and how unfair all of this and how much I already miss her

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