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Where should we live?

10 replies

Equiphant · 28/08/2022 17:38

Please can anyone come up with any answers i haven’t?

my husband’s work is mainly wfh with occasional meetings in london or cambridge on a few days notice. He also works for cambridge university so needs to be there a couple of times a week during the three (short) terms. He loves his job(s).

my family live in Cornwall - parents would love to see DGC more often, and DGC would love to see more of them. We would get childcare backup which we have never had. Plus there are fields and space and seaside in Cornwall.

we currently live in Hertfordshire, and i work in a job with no wfh which would be very hard to find anything similar in Cornwall or Cambridge (lots of competition for the few vacancies that arise). However, regardless of move i think i should leave my current role soonish for my mental health. I have bad memories associated with cambridge and prefer not to go there.

we have no good secondaries in our Hertfordshire town which will be an issue in 3 years, so need to think about moving. But where? It will be v.expensive to move so don’t want to do a temporary move and then another, plus it would be too much upheavel for kids leaving schools/friends.

we have gone around in circles approximately x400. It is too far for me/kids to live in cornwall and him commute at weekends (just under 6 hours). If we go away from cambridge but not cornwall, e.g anywhere in between, are we getting the worst of both worlds - the expense of moving, children upset at moving schools, no DGP at the other end? If we go to cornwall dh will be miserable at losing his career, even if he continues to wfh he will be too far out of the loop and will eventually lose opportunities/ employment.

Gah! I am so tired of not being able to fix this. has anyone been in this situation and found a way to make it work?

OP posts:
Catslovepies · 28/08/2022 17:42

You don't mention your budget. Could you try making new happy memories in Cambridge to override the old bad ones? I would give that a go and see if it could work before deciding.

Equiphant · 28/08/2022 18:07

Sorry - budget probably about £800k, and yes you’re probably right i should pull myself together about cambridge 😀

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Petronus · 28/08/2022 18:11

I don’t think you can go to Cornwall, sounds like you could both end up with no income. Large city like Bristol or Exeter could work and be in the right part of the country.

Petronus · 28/08/2022 18:13

Sorry, just seen dh needs to be in Cambridge. Honestly this is probably your best bet in that area.

Exasperatednow · 28/08/2022 18:19

There's lots of questions!

City, town, village?
What kind of secondary would you want? How old are your children now?
How important are transport links?

We live in North cambs. Pluses, generally like village life, transport links good, WiFi fast. Kids went/go to great schools.
I like Cambridge- I know you don't...

Minuses - don't like local town.

My friend moved to Cornwall and pretty much lost links and whilst her kids mostly liked it, they are both planning to move out ASAP.

There are lots of nice places in commutable distance of Cambridge if important. Stamford is lovely but quite far north.
Suffolk? Bury St Edmunds?

Riverlee · 28/08/2022 18:29

Could you buy somewhere with a granny annex so gp could come and stay for longer periods?

Equiphant · 28/08/2022 18:49

Thank you all!
City, town, village? - actually fairly easy about this, have lived in all, but would want somewhere pleasant to be and a nice period house.

What kind of secondary would you want? state and supportive for bright interested kids rather than high pressure preferably. if private school was the only good local option, would have to downsize house a lot to allow for it.

How old are your children now? Eldest is 3 years from secondary, hence why this has become a constant topic!

How important are transport links? We both drive, and trains to cornwall for 4 are prohibitively expensive now so probably less important than they were.

it seems Cambridge is the sane option, much as i’d like it not to be. Does anyone have secondary recommendations in particular there? Eg not as high pressure as the Perse but good and friendly?

OP posts:
Equiphant · 28/08/2022 18:50

Granny-flat is a good idea, but may not be financially feasible if we have to pay top end of our budget to move near a decent school. Will have a look!

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Exasperatednow · 28/08/2022 19:13

I don't know the secondarys that well. My dd went to Hills Road and prior to that a school in Peterborough (where my ds goes and is staying for sixth form). Generally, cambridge is dominated by independent schools. For school, you might be better looking just outside in one of the villages but I'm no expert.
We live north of cambridge and since the A14 has been upgraded the commute is 20 mins.

They are planning/consulting on putting in place a fairly hefty congestion charge in cambridge so you might want to look at that.

Equiphant · 28/08/2022 20:59

Thank you, much appreciated. I should probably start a new thread called “ tell me about the good schools in cambridgeshire” but i’m feeling too overwhelmed right now.

if anyone else has any good advice i’d love to hear it.

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