Not having a 'home' / longterm lodger - can anyone relate?

[tawnee]

My 9 year relationship ended in January. We lived together for 3.5 years - it was my ex's house and I had no share in it. The relationship was rough for quite a while before it ended and my ex would always threaten to kick me out for any minor disagreement. Whenever we had a rational conversation though he would promise that, even if we separated, I could stay in the spare room until I found a place to go. I did try to look for my own place before we split to have some space and security to work on us, but he got very offended and angry at this.

Ultimately though he did kick me out in January. I slept on a friend's sofabed for a while but managed to find a perfect situation where I was a lodger in a 2 bed house but the landlady was away 90% of the time. I struggled a lot with panic attacks and the loss of my home and relationship but this gave me space.

My landlady is now selling the house. I've been here 8

...8 months and was starting to feel settled but now all of the panic is coming back.

I can't afford to live alone (very few places to rent in my town, £1000pcm roughly) so am facing being a lodger again. So far it's lots of shared houses either with 'professionals' or with people older than me whose kids have moved out for example.

I haven't found much suitable and am just feeling scared at having no place to go, having to share a space (I'm in my mid 30s) and potentially being made to leave again with little notice.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you get through?

If you want your own space this costs unfortunately. As a lodger you main aim would be a 'landlord" who respects the privacy of your room and preferably is renting out a decent sized room as when I did it that's where I spent 80% of my time