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Neighbour's behaviour

14 replies

Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 13:31

I live on a road of two-up/two-downs. The road perpendicular to mine is the same. There is no allocated parking and everyone has to park where they can find a space. I recently parked by car opposite the house of a woman who lives on the road perpendicular to ours. I know her to see but not to speak to (I'm in London so neighbours not particularly friendly). Later my husband and I were leaving in the car. He was driving. I noticed this woman had come out of her house and appeared to be filming us getting out of the parking space and talking animatedly while looking at the phone. I said "is she filming is us?" in shock to my husband. As I said this (she obviously saw this on her camera) she looked up and me and gave me the finger! Her face was contorted with hate and she mouthed something at me.
I am away for the weekend and dread returning home. I have no idea why she was filming us but it seems perhaps she thought we might hit/dent/scratch her car (we didn't). I don't even know which one is hers so not sure which one it might have been.
I am so shocked. I have lived in this area for 20 years. I know they are not friendly to neighbours in London (I am not originally from London) but I have never experienced this level of aggression before. Over the years I have been left lots of anonymous notes on my car complaining about the way it is parked (e.g. too far away (3 ft) from next car and therefore taking up too much space) and I have got used to this. I have also had other neighbours say that they have received notes too and have even had their cars keyed in apparent retaliation for not parking appropriately(!). Most of these complaints are unjustified and uncalled for but it seems like there is a general feeling that it is acceptable to leave these notes for other people. I have always assumed it was different people leaving the notes but maybe it is just one person. Who knows?

The reason I am posting is that I just feel really uncomfortable about this woman's aggressive and totally unjustified behaviour. I now feel completely uncomfortable about living there.

Just to add, there were street parties in the summer for the Jubilee. My son and his girlfriend baked a loaf of vegan banana bread to take to the street party on the perpendicular road. When they tried to join the street party they were told that they should be at the party on a different road (as we are on the corner of two roads). My son said "but aren't we welcome here?" and the woman in charge just shrugged and threw her hands up. My son and his girlfriend felt they couldn't stay. I don't think it was the same woman but I have added this to show what the "established" group of (single older) women who live on that road are like.

I know I am probably just being silly but I just feel really fed up now and want to move. I don't know what I will do if I see this woman again. I think I am just going to ignore her and cross the road if I see her.

Thanks for reading. Just needed to vent how uncomfortable I feel about this unpleasant situation. Anybody got any advice? Thanks

OP posts:
skippy67 · 28/08/2022 13:41

"I live in London, so neighbours not particularly friendly" 🙄

Keyansier · 28/08/2022 13:49

It sounds like you're throwing up a lot of excuses for what is probably justified behaviour. You are so OTT in your description of this woman that I find it doubtful you are a completely innocent party in this.

And I agree with the other poster about the "not friendly in London" comment, that's not something that someone who has apparently lived there for 20 years would likely say...

SoupDragon · 28/08/2022 13:54

You are so OTT in your description of this woman

no she wasn't.

TBH, it's probably just that you parked in "her" space.

Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:12

Thanks "Soupdragon" it probably was something like that.

OP posts:
Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:15

Keyansier · 28/08/2022 13:49

It sounds like you're throwing up a lot of excuses for what is probably justified behaviour. You are so OTT in your description of this woman that I find it doubtful you are a completely innocent party in this.

And I agree with the other poster about the "not friendly in London" comment, that's not something that someone who has apparently lived there for 20 years would likely say...

Sorry Keyansier but you're wrong - I have lived in London, on the same road, for twenty+ years and the neighbours are not particularly friendly. I have lived in several other European capitals too and have never felt that.
Not sure how my description of the woman is OTT - I just described what happened.
Would really like to know why you think her behaviour is justified - I have never had any interaction with her before in my life. I think her behaviour is rude and strange.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 28/08/2022 14:25

You said her face was contorted with hate and that you are now scared of living in your house because of her. That is ridiculous and OTT from one interaction (if you can even call it that) with someone you don't even know.

And if you've been left loads of notes about your parking, then you're probably parking awkwardly/illegally and she is filming you trying to catch you in the act. You say you've "gotten used to it" - have you actually looked into addressing whether your parking is annoying your neighbours?

AFingerofFudge · 28/08/2022 14:28

I don't think it's because you live in London that the neighbours are not friendly. It might be because they're arseholes or whatever, but I lived in a London for 12 years on a fabulous street of neighbours who knew each other and looked out for each other.

MrsPinkSky · 28/08/2022 14:33

Oh stop with the London bashing, you're making yourself look ridiculous.

This could be the reason your neighbours aren't particularly friendly towards you.

Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:37

Keyansier · 28/08/2022 14:25

You said her face was contorted with hate and that you are now scared of living in your house because of her. That is ridiculous and OTT from one interaction (if you can even call it that) with someone you don't even know.

And if you've been left loads of notes about your parking, then you're probably parking awkwardly/illegally and she is filming you trying to catch you in the act. You say you've "gotten used to it" - have you actually looked into addressing whether your parking is annoying your neighbours?

"Keyansier"

I didn't say I was "scared of living in my house", I said I was "uncomfortable" which is completely different. Of course I'm not scared of living in my house. Please read more carefully.

It is not OTT to feel uncomfortable when a person films you and gives you the finger when you have never had any interaction with them before and have done them no harm whatsoever. Her behaviour was rude and strange.

As I said, lots of other neighbours have routinely been left anonymous notes on their cars. Several have become very upset about these uncalled for and rude notes. Nobody is parking "awkwardly or illegally".

OP posts:
Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:43

AFingerofFudge · 28/08/2022 14:28

I don't think it's because you live in London that the neighbours are not friendly. It might be because they're arseholes or whatever, but I lived in a London for 12 years on a fabulous street of neighbours who knew each other and looked out for each other.

Thank you. I am glad to hear you had lovely neighbours. I would like that "community" feel but unfortunately it doesn't happen in my immediate surroundings. Which is not so say that there haven't been some lovely neighbours on the street. A lot of people move on around here pretty quickly. Others don't. The ones that stay appear to think they have the right to instruct others on how to behave. As I said above, some neighbours have been extremely distressed to be on the receiving end of these notes. The filming and giving the finger is a new departure though. BTW I have no idea whether this woman is one of the anonymous note writer or not. I have never had any interaction with her before in my life.

OP posts:
Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:50

MrsPinkSky · 28/08/2022 14:33

Oh stop with the London bashing, you're making yourself look ridiculous.

This could be the reason your neighbours aren't particularly friendly towards you.

I'm not London bashing. I am one of the strongest advocates of the general wonderfulness of London going. However, many of my neighbours are not particularly friendly. That is a fact and I am not the only person who has found this area so. I doubt I will be the last. Doesn't mean I don't think that overall London is still the greatest city in the world. Nevertheless, some of the neighbours around here are rude and DO leave uncalled for anonymous notes on many other people's cars. That's a fact. There is one person who signs his name to the notes. I have no problem with him. He is entitled to his opinion and means no harm. It is a random person filming me and giving me the finger for no apparent reason that I find uncomfortable. If there was a problem all she had to do was express it verbally. Furthermore, it is also a fact that many other residents have been upset by the rude and anonymous notes they received when they first moved here. They've either learned to ignore it or have eventually moved on themselves.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 28/08/2022 14:54

I'm starting to feel sorry for her tbh, you seem to throw up many arguments as to why she's wrong but not addressing your own participation in all of this. Maybe you and your neighbours are all as bad as parking as each other, unless you think someone is leaving you all notes for the fun of it (which isn't true, because one man signs his notes so you must know it's an actual real issue that people have).

Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 14:59

Keyansier · 28/08/2022 14:54

I'm starting to feel sorry for her tbh, you seem to throw up many arguments as to why she's wrong but not addressing your own participation in all of this. Maybe you and your neighbours are all as bad as parking as each other, unless you think someone is leaving you all notes for the fun of it (which isn't true, because one man signs his notes so you must know it's an actual real issue that people have).

Ok "Keyansier" - I've been trying to explain the situation to you but you don't seem to see where I'm coming from so I will stop trying to clarify. Maybe I've touched a nerve with you and you leave anonymous notes for your neighbours? Who know?. I hope you have a lovely day today and a nice bank holiday tomorrow. Looks like the weather is due to be very pleasant on both days.

OP posts:
Whenwherewhy · 28/08/2022 15:00

"Who knows" not "Who know!."

OP posts:
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