Is jealousy normal?

[incognitopurple]

Rubbish post to be writing and I’m trying to work on this in myself, but I struggle with feeling jealous. When I see people hitting life stages, points in time, I feel really inadequate and spend the rest of the day unmotivated.

We aren’t TTC yet, hopefully next year, but I have some signs of irregularities with cycles/hormones and every time I see any announcement I feel happy for the person but also disheartened that it’s not me yet, and worried it will never be. It is all I have ever wanted since being tiny. This may seem irrational as nothing has been confirmed and it might be straightforward, but I always have the what if.

There are more examples than this and I am trying to work on accepting it, I hate how selfish it is that thoughts about myself swirl round when somebody else has achieved something. I wish I could just be happy for them getting a promotion, or buying a new house for example, without anything else attached to it. Congratulations and a nice thought about them in a new home then move on with my day.

Please be kind as it took a lot to post this, I know it’s a poor character trait. Social media definitely exacerbates these feelings and I wonder how healthy the platforms can be, they just encourage comparison.

I don’t know how true this rings for other people and whether these kinds of feelings are WAY more common than I think, and people just stay quiet about it?

I think it is common, yes, but perhaps for the majority of people it is a fleeting thought, rather than something that bothers them a lot.

Perhaps you need to start being kinder to yourself. Think of all the things you have achieved, rather than comparing yourself with others and being disappointed.?

I think a bit of envy every now and again is normal and human, but this seems extreme. Constantly comparing yourself and your life to the lives of everyone around you isn't healthy at all. Not being able to be truly happy for people because you're envious of them is odd. Being envious of people conceiving when you're not even trying ttc yet is odd. Sounds like you're focusing so much on what other people are doing that you're not living your own life.

If you use a lot of social media it might be time to start thinking about getting off it. I deleted basically everything at the start of this year, all I do now is occasionally dip onto here and I follow a few food and dog IGs, that's it. The difference it has made for my MH has been astounding.

@Surtsey thank you, never thought of it from that angle.