Disappointed by friends dropping out of time together

[RosalindsAFuckingNightmare]

I invited a group of girlfriends over for lunch tomorrow. The invite went out about a month ago and everyone was keen to come. There's about 10 of us. This morning I went shopping for food then came home and sorted out the garden so we could sit out there. It's not looking it's best after the hot summer but I got some bunting and fairy lights, set the table plus umbrellas for shade. It looks lovely and I was looking forward to tomorrow.
But this afternoon, our Whatapp group has been full of messages from my friends crying off. Mostly to spend time with their families (I am the only one in the friend group who is childfree).
I'm so disappointed. I know that families take priority - but my friends could have declined the invite or at least said they weren't sure and would let me know! Now I have a fridge full of food that I can't possibly get through myself and a day of disappointment instead of the lovely afternoon that I was hoping for. I'm feeling sad that I won't get to see my friends and also sad that I don't have the family time that they have.

All ten dumped on you?? That's shit. I'd be tempted to put a brief message on the group chat along the lines of "Really sad no one could make it today. Sort out of you want to rearrange" and leave it with them. That's not good, it's just laziness as they can't be bothered to make the effort.

They shoudn't have agreed in the first place.

What a disappointing way to treat you, really pathetic cancelling the day before.

I tried to do a bbq once years ago....booked a bouncy castle for the kids etc and then one by one people dropped out.

Really upset me at the time and didn't bother again.

So sorry op x

That’s really crappy of them to all bow out at the last moment. Could you invite your neighbours over and call it a spontaneous street party?

That's crappy. I wouldn't make any effort going forward for any of them.

That is so rude and not acceptable. Can’t stand it when people do this

I'm sorry, that sounds horrible. If they wanted to spend time with their families they should have declined the invite for that day in the first place 💐

Just make the best of the time with the ones who are coming. That's assuming not all 10 have ditched? If they all have, then I'd assume there's more to it.

Rude tossers. Not okay at all.

i think you should let them know you have bought food etc . dropping out so late is poor form . are any coming ?

That's really shitty. If they couldn't come they should have given more notice. I find with stuff like that once a couple drop out the rest get cold feet. I've found in last five years or so (I'm in my early forties) people have been less available/more prone to cancelling and covid seems to have exasperated that. I stopped trying to arrange stuff as it got me down when people cancelled.

Really sorry to hear this OP. If I was your friend, I would have been looking forward to a child-free afternoon with nice food, hopefully a drink or two and a catch-up!

This is why I refuse to arrange anything now with friends, I have a MH issue and it was worsened by friends dropping out of plans, not replying to invites.

It’s my 40th next year and I’m not having a party, I’ve seen too many posts on here where people have organised parties and have lots of drop-outs and no-shows.

I wouldn’t count these people as friends in future. What an awful way to treat you. As someone else suggested, why don’t you invite the neighbours over?

I have a few flaky friends. It can be very annoying. I only cancel if I'm ill or a genuine emergency crops up. The I can't be bothered to attend or have a better offer is frankly bloody rude.

Did all ten cancel?

Had there been any recent discussion/reminder or was it the invitation a month ago and no further mention?

I second invite some others, anyone! Tell them the truth or call it a spontaneous gathering, whichever you're more comfortable with. It's really crap OP :( I hope you let them know the prep that you have gone to?

Did they all drop out?

Theres no way I’d rearrange. Why not say something on the group such as I really wish you’d all have told me before I went out and bought all the food for this.

They're dicks to stop out at the last minute like this.

I'd take a picture of all the food in the fridge and send a jokey message, 'gonna take me a while to get through all this!'
Just make them aware that you've actually spent money. Sometimes people don't realise that you've actually gone to a big effort.

If all ten dropped out, then you need to speak up. This isn't on. Send a message to let them know you're really disappointed after going to a lot of time and effort.

That’s awful. When DCs were young I would’ve loved an afternoon off! Dh would’ve taken them to his brother or the park. Plenty of time for family time over BH weekend

Totally agree!

its the last min drop out that angers me- fine not to come but just say early enough.

So sorry this has happened to you. It is extremely rude and they are not good friends. I would be phasing them out and trying to find some new ones (easier said than done, I know).

How are you today?

I hope you found other friends, family or neighbours to share your lunch with.

I woudn't be inviting that flakey bunch again.

Thanks for asking and for everyone else for replying. I’m partly sad and partly angry. They are to me a good bunch of friends but I do feel let down and hurt by them.
No, not all of them dropped out. 6 did yesterday and there were a further 2 who were starting to be a bit flakey and non-committal suggesting we rearrange if not everyone could make it so I pulled the plug. I messaged the one left who was definitely coming regardless if she minded and she said she didn’t. We’re going for a Sunday Roast and a couple of glasses of wine this evening instead.

Oh, some of the food has gone in the freezer, the rest I can use for lunches/dinner in the week.
And on the plus side I do get a whole cheesecake to myself!