Bit freaked out - need a virtual handhold

[WhatsitWiggle]

DD (14) and I are on holiday in a European beach destination, our first since I separated from her dad earlier this year. I work with (not for) the hotel we're staying at and got a very good deal. As a condition, I need to meet with management during my stay - this is normal and I have no issues with this.

We arrived late last night and this morning I had a catch up after breakfast with the manager who I had never met in person before, only zoom. We had a nice chat and at the end he said we should meet for dinner and he would book something. I agreed, assuming it would be later in the week.

This afternoon, I received a text to my personal phone with a restaurant name at the hotel and a time to meet in the hotel lobby. I texted back my agreement.

At the specified time, DD and I went to the lobby. We waited 15 minutes, no sign of the manager. I went to reception to ask, they said he wasn't at the hotel this evening, they called him and he had not made this arrangement. They checked my description of the person I met this morning and agreed it was the manager I thought it was.

I showed them my phone, they've checked the number and it doesn't match any of the hotel managers! I do not give out my personal number to anyone for work but I used it at check in. The duty manager has contacted the police.

I'm trying to stay very calm for DDs sake, and the reception manager has said maybe someone just got the wrong number, but it's very strange and I'm feeling vulnerable.

@TokyoSushi that's possible, I guess. But why not send a message that says sorry something has come up, not able to meet? I'd have been none the wiser.

@marcopront yes sorry, what the others had said. So when I went to reception and said I was meant to be meeting Mr Z they called his work phone and he denied the meeting. I showed them the text and they called the number on that and it didn't answer. Which if it was his personal phone makes sense.

@milesmachine my ex is definitely not capable of that, but the split was as amicable as it can be

@Ccoffee I'm nearly 50 and been in travel my whole working life, I'm clearly still too naive (or been married too long and missed the signals), or unwittingly gave off overly friendly rather just thankful signals.

@WhatsitWiggle

@marcopront yes sorry, what the others had said. So when I went to reception and said I was meant to be meeting Mr Z they called his work phone and he denied the meeting. I showed them the text and they called the number on that and it didn't answer. Which if it was his personal phone makes sense.

That makes sense
Thanks

It's definitely his phone number. He called me this morning on the room phone to apologise for missing the dinner meeting as he had an emergency. Asked to rearrange for Monday and I said DD and I might already have plans.

I then messaged my manager to ask her advice. She reckons the same as you all - he's using the excuse of work to get a personal dinner arrangement, and there is no legitimate need for a further meeting. I'm going to block his number on my personal phone, and text on my work phone to politely decline. She also said I should inform the hotel if I feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

I feel stupidly naive though, especially as so many of you called it and it simply did not cross my mind 😫

@WhatsitWiggle don't let it put a damper on your holiday. You've got the backing of your manager so keep to the plan then let it go and enjoy yourselves. He's just a chancer who knows he got rumbled. Probably denied it the first time because he was with his wife when he got the call.

NOT naive in the slightest.
You were in work mode and were expecting him to be too.

The fact he is using work to try and get in your bed (saorry...) is despicable and is fully on him. Not on yu to be naive, too kind, not reading signals or whatnot.
(Even though I suspect you are right that before, having your dh around will have stop men from even trying it on 😞)