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Original poster

What are the good reasons for having a child?

35 replies

Nogoodreasons · 27/08/2022 12:47

Other than you want one of course? My partner asked me to think of a good reason to have a child and I can't actually think of one.

People say that you're bringing in potentially another doctor or whatever into the world but you might not be after all. That's not guaranteed.

I worry about what the world we live in right now will be like in even 20 years. I mean they might be alright, we'd probably be better off than most but it's still not an ideal world.

Kids cost a lot. SO much, that he doesn't really understand. Not just money wise but health wise especially for the mother. Cost you mentally too as you're worried all the time about them.

I don't agree with having them to be my carer in old age.

Is it really worth it just to see them smile and grow up? Does that make it all worth it? The sicknesses, the tantrums, the screaming, crying, broken objects, the 'i hate you's from them, especially when a teenager. What makes all of that worthwhile?

I can maybe see how it is all worthwhile to go through to see your child be happy and well in the world but not sure if that outweighs the negatives. Does it?

He thinks that is a good reason to have a child by the way. I'm just curious what other parents think and what their reasons were for having a child.

OP posts:
Laiste · 27/08/2022 17:51

Haven't RTFT but my answer is love. Just love.

I have 4 DDs 😍

SpiderinaWingMirror · 27/08/2022 17:57

Love.

PreColumbian · 27/08/2022 17:58

It’s love. If you need a reason. We have kids because we love them.

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Penguinsaregreat · 27/08/2022 17:59

I would say do not have children unless you absolutely want them.
The downside is very real for a woman, not for a man.
I know several women who’s husbands wanted them and they were unsure. The men ended up leaving, all now with other women. The women were stuck with the kids. Not one of these men does the majority of care for their children.
I had mine because I wanted them and I put them first, always and everywhere. I made sacrifices for them in many different ways which I would never do for any other living soul.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 27/08/2022 18:00

Pregnancy 😏

Devo1818 · 27/08/2022 18:03

I think if you need to be convinced, you shouldn't have one. It's too big a thing to be on the fence about.

Letitmow · 27/08/2022 18:04

It depends really, for some people the smiles and whatever else are worth it, for me personally I think it just depends what you'd like your life to look like. Having children and being child free can both be amazing, fulfilling and equally as enjoyable, it depends on individuals and their circumstances. We have one child and although I love them dearly, I had an equally good life beforehand it was just different. Given my time again I'm not sure, if i would have my particular child again then yes I would have children, if it was an abstract and wouldn't be exactly them then probably not.

I suppose 'because you want them' is as valid as any other reason.

LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 27/08/2022 18:35

The same reason for deciding you want any close relationship with another person. You want the closeness, the support, the emotional connection, the companionship etc etc. All close relationships also have downsides. But people are generally social animals and need relationships with other people.

Conceiving a child is an opportunity to have a unique relationship with somebody. No other experience is like it. They did not exist beforehand. They are a part of you that little by little becomes separate and independent with their own thoughts, ideas, feelings.
And it’s permanent unlike other important relationships. You might break up or divorce your partner but once you are a parent, you’re always a parent.
Caring for somebody and nurturing them can be very satisfying and enjoyable in itself. There doesn’t have to be some payback for it. Some people enjoy looking after other people more than others.
Sometimes it’s simply that you cannot resist the urge to find out what that experience is like.

ParsleyPesto · 27/08/2022 18:44

It teaches you what unconditional love is. It inspires you to be a better person. It helps you to relate to the vast majority of people in the world. It helps you become less self-centred. It helps you figure out priorities.A baby and small child wants nothing but love. They are not impressed by the size of your house, the model of your car, the way you speak or dress, or how much you earn. They just want you, your live and attention. It’s very grounding. It doesn’t matter whether you are 17, 27 or 38; it doesn’t matter whether you are a cleaner or a banker, to your child you are everything.

Hawkins001 · 27/08/2022 18:59

ParsleyPesto · 27/08/2022 18:44

It teaches you what unconditional love is. It inspires you to be a better person. It helps you to relate to the vast majority of people in the world. It helps you become less self-centred. It helps you figure out priorities.A baby and small child wants nothing but love. They are not impressed by the size of your house, the model of your car, the way you speak or dress, or how much you earn. They just want you, your live and attention. It’s very grounding. It doesn’t matter whether you are 17, 27 or 38; it doesn’t matter whether you are a cleaner or a banker, to your child you are everything.

Until they become a teenager, then it's a mix of potential perspectives

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