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Tricked into handing over dd

2 replies

Strawberrycustard99 · 27/08/2022 10:40

For background : I had my dd very young and couldn’t cope. My mum offered to take on responsibility of dd and as a teenager I didn’t understand it very well and agreed. She wanted to take it through the courts to make it legal because she filled my head with fears my dd will be taken into care if I admitted I couldn’t cope. I stayed part of dd life of course but the pressure wasn’t on my shoulders anymore and she became more like a sister than dd but I always have and always will refer to her as my dd and she calls me mum.
fast forward 6 years and I feel like my mum screwed me over completely. I no longer have parental responsibility and legally she’s not my dd anymore. My mum has full control of her every movement and is even controlling when I can and can’t see her.
she lives with mum and I moved out when I finished a college course and could afford a place of my own. I wanted to take dd with me but I didn’t want to unsettle the life she had with mum who told me I’m being selfish and should have a child of my own if I want to raise one now I’m older. Now mum is making it difficult for me to have a mother daughter relationship with dd and tells her false things like I don’t want to see her because I’m busy with my boyfriend. It’s now been 5 weeks since I saw dd as mum kept planning things for the summer holidays and was never home. I know it was on purpose and I’m really upset I missed summer with her because I booked some time off work to spend with her.
i spoke to someone legally and they said based on the court case I have no grounds to challenge mum and I can’t get custody back without mums permission which she won’t give. I gave mum the role to help me raise dd as I was too young and I feel like she tricked me and now it’s too late. I hate her for what she’s done and how she’s lied to me to essentially steal my dd from me and I’m heartbroken I’ll never be a proper mum to her. Is there anything I can do?

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 27/08/2022 10:55

I no longer have parental responsibility and legally she’s not my dd anymore.

The only way she isn't legally your daughter would be for her to have been adopted by your Mum. Assuming that isn't the case then she is still legally your daughter.

re Parental responsibility. Do you really not have it or is it shared?

Either way I would see a solicitor, take along any court papers you have from before. But also think hard what will be best for your DD. It might be that increased, court ordered 'contact' would be best with a view to eventually a move to you being the prime carer.

gobbynorthernbird · 27/08/2022 12:19

Has your mum adopted your daughter? And which country are you in?

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