Is my daughter in the wrong

[Gemm123]

So I am a mother of four two daughters and two sons there’s a really big age gap between my children first daughter 20 second 19 then son 5 and one 5 months after the birth of my 5 year old my daughters changed cut a long story short are relationships broke down al my family have said the same thing most probably because I had another child after so long I’ve tried and tried but constantly get the blame by the way they have turned out they blame me for most if not all there problems to this date
anyways it’s got to the point now my 19 year old has started recording me when we have a disagreement which is everytime we spend time together there’s always a problem either am not doing enough for her or am always saying something wrong I can’t never say anything without her thinking am on her case she was a very difficult child growing up got moved from school to school she was diagnosed with A.D.H.D at a young age I tried my best with what I had for all my children it’s just got to the point of her coming to my home they the arguments start In front of my younger children but the recording has been going on for a god while I feel she goes quiet when she recordeds she’s comes to my home takes what’s she pleases without asking she has took my sons dog tonight and refused to give me her back I honestly don’t know how I can cope any longer am I actually that person who starts these arguments honestly just need other peoples views on the recording situation I am literally so angry by it buts that’s my view
can I have other peoples views in any similar situations

So she comes to visit, you fall out and she videos you without saying anything? Are you shouting and aggressive to her whilst she’s filming?

Why don’t you just calmly tell her to leave or simply walk away from her? When you’re both calm, meet up to discuss the situation, ideally somewhere neutral.

What are you doing when she’s videoing you op? If she is quiet and you were behaving reasonably there would be nothing to record.

It's like when people on YouTube are omg 😲and people are recording, I'd try to make sure that your always composed ect, sorta like a psychologist personality, more asking questions ect

Words are being exchanged raised voices so to speak I can’t ask her to leave I’ve tried that before an she will blankly tell me NO or call me crazy say am horrible

I think that's what she's recording for, your reactions so she can say she was all calm ect.

We can’t know. I would doubt someone would feel the need to record another person unless they wanted evidence of the other person’s behaviour or words because they felt they would not otherwise be believed.

Why is the dog your son’a and not the family’s? Does your daughter feel there is favouritism at play? That you treat your sons much better than you treated her? (Whether or not that is the actual case)

Where does your 19 live now? When did she move out? Are they full sibling?

But you said she is quiet when she records, so clearly not much is being exchanged as such and it’s all you at that point.

Look op, clearly you are doing something that is worthy of recording, generally it’s done to prove someone’s behaviour. If you’re shouting/being abusive, own it.

have you looked at the recordings of youtself and your behaviour? Use it as a wake up call. When your own child has to resort to recording how you treat them it’s very bad.

You're pinning all the blame on your daughter being a difficult child but presumably she didn't move herself from school to school. What happened? Did they grow up with you?
Is their dad the same as the younger twos dad?
Where do the older two live and how long has that been for, as it doesn't sound like they're with you and you said the fallout started 5 years ago when the girls would've still been children?