Can we give a little virtual hug to all those 16 year olds who HAVEN’T done so well in their GCSE’s this year?

[JustlookingNotbuying]

Today, social media and MSM is chock full of proud students and parents showing their fantastic grades, and rightly so as they have obviously worked very hard to gain them.
However, there is another side to these results, the few who didn’t do so well and sadly that includes ds who has spent all day on his bed feeling a bit deflated and melancholy.
Although he tried really hard we knew his results may not be so great as he has struggled very much during secondary with school refusal and anxiety/depression . Turned out (only found out 6 months ago) that he has dyslexia.
He is extremely practical and can literally build anything he puts his hands to but struggles so much academically and with exams. The only teacher who had solid faith in him was his lovely DT teacher, she said he was one of the best pupils she has taught and if his results were based on practicality alone he would get a 9.
He is lucky enough to have secured a place at our local college learning construction and has work a few days a week with his cousin who also struggled at school but now earns a very, very good living as a brick layer.
I’ve told ds today that his future has just started. Tomorrow is another fresh day, his life and potential is not just about his GCSE results, he is more than that. He is a lovely, kind hearted and a hard working, practical young lad and I am very proud of him and just as his DT teachers has said, we are sure he will do well in life.
If any parents out there who’s dc have been a bit down regarding their results, if they haven’t done too great this year, know that I’m thinking of you all. They will do well in life.

That's lovely. I'm sorry your DS didn't get good grades, but it sounds like he has a vocation and a trade and should do well in life. 😊

SapphireSeptember thank you. I really hope so 🤞

This is a lovely post. And absolutely the right message you've given your son @JustlookingNotbuying- this is the beginning for him now to freedom and not being chained to school, where he clearly didn't thrive.

I too suffered from anxiety, depression and school refusal. He should be bloody proud of himself for whatever grades he achieved and for the sheer determination to get through them after a difficult time.

I would love to be more practical with things- it sounds like he has a great future ahead of him with his skills and the course he is enrolled on. He will have a great job- far better to be applying himself in something he is good at and can make a career in.

All the best to him for college 😊

well done to him for getting into college. Honestly construction workers and bricklayers are like gold dust round here at the moment.
He will have a great time at college and working with people more on his wavelength. There’s such a massive world outside and after school.
Sod gcse results x

Thank you WatermelonSugarSigh he really is so practical. I ordered a flat pack bed a year ago and spent an hour just looking at the jumble of bits. Ds came home, took one look at it, didn’t even bother looking at the instructions and within an hour I had a nice newly constructed bed. He certainly does not get that from my side, dh is also very practical.

You’re right, at the time the results seem SO important. But actually there’s nearly always a work around of some kind. Wether it’s resits, change of direction or something else.

A friends son did quite badly at A levels and sort of dropped out, did bar work and dabbled in drugs. After about 18months, he realised he was heading nowhere. He got himself sorted, got into Uni and has passed with a first in a well paid industry. Has a lovely girlfriend, no drugs, doesn’t even smoke.

Sending hugs to everyone.

Hakeandling thank you so much. I did have a little inner wobble when he rang me at work this morning but sometimes we just have to think positively.

I'm sure parents worry more about the grades than many of the students.
It is basically a memory test.
My son failed his maths and five others a few years ago,went to college to do carpentry and got a job in a joinery with just a level two.
Though all changed this year when he decided he wanted to be a paratrooper so is now training.
All the best to your son,construction is a great trade. We need these handy types.

Thank you sleepymum50

(((Big hug))) for him & you!!

One of my nephews had less than brilliant results, but he passed maths with a great grade (a year ago he would never have thought he'd pass, let alone well) he failed English (he has struggled to write since he was young, but he's a fabulous story teller & no problem reading!). He passed his French & sciences & tech one.

a bit of a mixed bag, but better than expected.

he won't get into the T Tech he wanted, but might get on the BTEC (equiv) at worst a foundation course (as he HAS to
pass the English). then the BTEC (equiv)

I'm VERY proud he's done as well as he has & I am relieved he will be going to college in one way or another! Not going would have been an absolute disaster for him.

your DS has done very well & being practical is a good thing. Having a trade is an EXCELLENT option!

Poor kid, sorry today is so tough for him. Grades aren't everything. To be honest grades don't really set you apart from others anyway. Employers don't necessarily want brain boxes. They want reliable people, who work hard, with a willingness to learn and a good moral compass. The only rest can be taught. Good luck to him, today might seem grim but it won't be like this forever.

kerkyra Thanks. I hope your ds does well in his new career. I tell my dc that nothing is set in stone, life is full of twists and turns. It’s hard when teachers drum into kids that their grades are all that counts, that’s really tough on the kids who struggle at school. We are not all pre-programmed robots, some have other skill sets. My dad was a plumber and earned a very good living, I never went without as a child.

Academic qualifications are not everything.
Not everyone needs to go to university, and in fact, your DS will probably do better than those with a degree and thousands of pounds worth of debt.
Good luck to him.

That's fantastic that he's got himself into college! GCSEs seem so important at the time but even a year from now they will seem far less so. There is nothing wrong in struggling with exams and the academic side of life - being practical is equally if not more valuable!
Education in this country is very much one size fits all and it simply doesn't work. I hope he finds his passion at college and wish home well.

Congratulations to your ds on his college place!! It sounds like he has a positive future ahead. As others have said, academic results are not the be all and end all. We need all kind of people and skills to make the world go round 🙂

My nephew was never very academic( not from want of trying) He is now a plumber at our country's top university with staff to lead after doing an apprenticeship,I still dont know his grades 15 years later as he wouldn't tell us.
My oldest daughter did phenomenally well,got results today(part natural ability/ part bloody hard work) her sister who is 10 is so vastly different,not academic or interested in education at all and I know in 6 years time it'll be a totally different scenario,but i have faith she'll find her own path and succeed also.

Thanks. It does make it harder when everyone seems to be celebrating their DC results like the world depends on them.
My 14yr old ds has asd and is under performing at maths despite a year of tuition( stopped this summer as too expensive and hasn't helped at all) and I'm already worrying about him. We had a look around a college near us that does plumbing,electrian courses,stone masonry and things like tree surgeon courses to see if anything grabbed him,as I expect a levels won't be an option. But actually these sound far more exciting!
We really didn't have this pressure 35 years ago and I think it's awful.
Your son is lucky to have a talent,a great skill for life.

Congratulations to your ds on his college place,my 2nd nephew struggled but scraped enough grades today for 6th form.

My daughter didn't so so well either, for similar reasons. Not everybody has to become a doctor or a lawyer.

My DS and DD both bombed in their GCSE's. I worried so much that this was life limiting as my experience was very academic and I couldn't see any option other than dead end jobs they'd be able to secure.

DD is excelling in her apprenticeship in an area that I'd have never ever for seen for her. DS has just been accepted into a very unusual but fantastic area of work

Unfortunately as a society we have now for o many years based emphasis on educational achievements. This isn't without merit but it isn't the be-all-and-end-all. It was a salutary lesson for me that they could achieve so much without a clutch of strong GCSE passes

That sounds like he's got things sorted. I worry that some kids who do poorly at gcse then label themselves as stupid when they really aren't. It's a shame if poor results put them off studying in the future.
One of my DC works as an accountant and amazed at how well some trades do.

Very best wishes to your DS @JustlookingNotbuying .
He is a lovely, kind hearted and a hard working, practical young lad and I am very proud of him had me welling up. You sound a lovely mum and son

This really angers me. That for decades everything has been about academic grades when we need all different sorts of talent to build a better world.

Bring back technical colleges and apprenticeships at 16.

Wishing every success to your son OP.

It's horrible isn't it op. Ds didn't get the grades he needed today to stay at sixth form with his friends and he is absolutely devastated, I keep telling him all the stuff people say to make him feel better but it's not helping. He did really well as he has very bad dyslexia and possibly adhd (cahms refused to assess as he wasn't getting into trouble at school 🙄) I am so proud of him but all he can see atm is his friends all getting to do something he can't. I know it will all work out in the end but that doesn't make today or probably the next few weeks any easier.
When I read posts from people saying how upset their child is because they got one or two 8's and not all 9's it feels like a real kick in the teeth.

Tell him from me. He is lucky he knows this now.

I wasted so many years trying to be an academic kind of engineer. By planning and working slowly he can do anything he chooses because he won't choose the impossible.
Best Wishes