Has anyone ever worked for a bully?

[SeaBoat]

I used to think my boss was nice and she's OK some of the time but then theres other times when she's nothing more but a cow. This morning was one of those days. I took a drink from my water bottle for her to start shouting shit at me. I went to the toilet because my belly was sore and I needed the toilet for her to house across the place to me while I was in the toilet. She misplaced something and I offered to look for it later. I was asking questions as to what the item looks like and all she did was shout shit at me - 'NOT RIGHT NOW...NOT A GOOD TIME......'I did say later on to her. I wanted to know what the item looked like. Then she went on to spit more orders at me.

I wanted to break down in fucking tears but I didn't and it will be the last time she will ever talk to me like that again... What gives anyone the right to shout down on others.

I don't work for a large corporation so there's no human resources

How do you cope when you're working for a bully?

It's Sunday and I am dreading the week ahead and she also got me on board for working next weekend too and she will probably. She will probably come after me for an overnight mid week or next week at the latest too. I don't want to be around her much any more. She's horrible.

She knows how to be sweet when she wants to be but anything after that and she's not very nice. Just using people really.

I always worked hard and went above and beyond. I don't want to ever put myself into a position of being spoken to like shit, ever again.

I used to work with someone who made my life hell at work.

Turned out it wasn't just me - she was the reason for a revolving door of people in my role and management didn't care as she was good at her job.

I left. Best thing I ever did. Felt the weight lift of my shoulders when I walked out the door for the last time.

Life is too short to put up with that sort of behaviour.

There's not a lot of colleagues in the place or other workers. There's only a few of us. She speaks to us all the same. At first she's sweet but eventually she turns.

She's someone who only ever sees whatever she wants to see. I could be working away at doing my duties and she will come along and focus on the stuff that is not done never mind its just a simple matter of not getting around to doing it just yet.

I could do so much work and go above and beyond and she will focus on everything that is not done nó matter how minor yet she can't do half of the load she's so quick dish out. Some of the stuff was never even in my contract too.

Something that I hate is that she will go into the kitchen and she will not tidy up after herself. Everything is strewn around the counters from butter to lettuce and tomatoes and bread and dressing a d graters and cheese and cutlery and glasses and teapot. Everything. She will not tidy up after herself but expects me to do it even though kitchen duties was never a part of my job. It just shows hoe little she thinks of me. She really is treating me like shit.

I left. I had a manager who was so incredibly moody and if she was in a foul mood then God help you. External things like her tv was broken so she spit venom all day, rude to customers too. You spend so much time at work that if you can't see a resolution to this then do change jobs if you can. You shouldn't have to, of course you shouldn't, but I know how this sort of thing is death by a thousand cuts.

I worked with a bully of a colleague who was supported by our manager as, I have to admit, the bully was very, very good at her job. I left and haven’t looked back.

I can remember an episode during the summer.. From time to time, the toilets get clogged up. Probably happens about twice a year. She brought her husband in to look at the septic tank and wokr on that job. Her husband claims that there's somebody throwing wipes and pads down the toilets. And I got the blame once more. Even though I grew up in an old rural village and with brothers and they always said nothing goes down the toilet ever. I nearly had to stand in front of the pair of them to explain my menstrual habits (I use reusable products for the past 4 years - reusable period knickers, reusable pads and a cup). There's somebody throwing stuff down the toilet but it's not me but they threw the blame at me all the same even though there is a small team of people coming and going. I felt so sick going home that night. To be blamed for something that I am not doing.

She sounds utterly unpleasant.

I would wipe up all the bits of food and crumbs and empty them onto her desk right in front of her if she asked me to clean up after her. If she asked a second time, I'd chuck it on her.

Erm... that sounds quite perverted and weird. I would have quit right there and then. That is not normal behaviour.

I previously worked for a real charmer, I was young and absolutely the person who was called upon when he was upset, which was rather often as he was going through a very messy divorce. I left and looking back I was treated appallingly and stayed much longer than I should have!

@SeaBoat yes she’s a bully and completely out of order. A few things you can do. First is, look for another job, this will likely wear you down more than you can imagine right now, and it’s sounds like this job is unlikely to be worth it (few jobs are).

The next is, if there is anyone more senior than her, try to find ways to cultivate a friendly relationship with them, even if it’s just having a short friendly chat or taking an interest in them, this will make your boss more wary about being horrible to you because she will be scared you could say something about her behaviour to the more senior person and make her look bad. This works in every workplace in my experience, you should try to this as a matter of course, it will protect you. It’s not about sucking up, it’s about making people wonder if maybe you have more pull than your position might otherwise suggest. One way of building this relationship is asking the more senior person’s advice on something, anything, even something outside the work place.

The next thing you should do is if she shouts, swears or barks at you tell her “I’m happy to discuss whatever needs doing/ helping you/ what I can improve on next time, but I am not happy to to sworn at or shouted at. If you don’t think that’s not possible right now because you’re upset, we can follow up on it again later”. Say it calmly, quietly and without accusation, and then walk away.

Is there a reason that you're staying in this job (exceptional pay, extremely flexible hours)? If not it's a really good idea to look for something better. These bullying bosses, like bullying partners, reduce your self esteem and eventually it'll be even harder to leave. Just accept that it's not you, it's her. She won't change. And you'll never please her because that's not the point. The point is she likes to bully you and put you down as it makes her feel powerful.

I often worked on my own initiative and worked on jobs that need to be done so often I don't mind working in the kitchen but it's her tone and her mood and her attitude at times where she stands over me, flying her arms about and pointing and complaining why this and that and the other isn't done and dishing out orders while huffing.

I 100% agree with @Goosygandy, the best thing you can do (if at all possible) is leave.

You deserve to feel safe and happy at work.

I'm having something similar atm but she's not my boss but a higher grade.
She waits until we're alone then starts saying really shitty things, having a good old go at me, tries to put words on my mouth, stuff I've not said nor wouldn't say nor even think.
She's very "woke" & I think she sees me as a cis / white privileged drain on society.
The other day I snapped and said "who the fuck do you think your talking to" I'm currently awaiting the backlash 🙄

I have. Sucks doesn’t it. Head office knew but the bully made a fortune for them, so they just kep rotating the people who worked for him. I did 6 months.

All you can do is leave ☹️or maybe ask for an internal transfer. But there’s no point satying in that job, they’ll never change.

Could maybe see an employment lawyer and work out how to build a case for construcive dismissal, but you’re probably better off just job hunting.