I'm putting this in chat rather than Relationships or AIBU because I just want a rant and not a DH bash! But I am currently so frustrated (also concede I am probably experiencing PMS rage).
I am the main breadwinner (80%+ of our income). I'm self employed and work (theoretically) full time. DH has a part time thing basically as a highly specialised adult tutor working through a school. His classes are an hour long, many are early in the morning or early evening to accommodate his students' work schedules but he does also do some during the day as well as some additional work for the school. He loves it, it's very important to him and he makes a difference in people's lives. I'm 100% supportive.
BUT.... I am so tired of constantly feeling like I have to squeeze everything in. He has cancelled some classes over the holidays, but not all. And there's zero flexibility so, for example, we (I, obviously) organised holiday clubs for the DC at the beginning of the holiday but start time is while he's at a class. SO I have to get the DC ready and get them to the clubs etc and by the time I'm back at work, it's inevitably later than I'd like. Ditto, in the evenings, if I'm working on something I have a hard stop because I have to rush home/rush downstairs because he's leaving right in the middle of the witching hour.
DH and DS1 had a last minute opportunity to attend an amazing event recently. it was expensive but it was absolutely worth it. DH is super grateful that I facilitated this becaues I earn enough that we can afford it. But I honestly don't think he has any idea that really, the thing I'd value more, is if he appreciated the TIME that I had to give up to look after DS2 because he wasn't here.
He's actually a great DH and father. Does his fair share etc etc. It's just this classic thoughtlessness and assumption that I can just accommodate things because I work for myself AND work from home that I'm struggling with . And yes, I've spoken to him about it. But he doesn't get it. eg, he really can't understand why I can't work while I'm looking after DS2. My job involves a lot of thinking and carefully worded planning and process management and it's not something I can do in between 200 requests for a drink or a child yelling because they've stubbed their toe.
And breathe. I feel better having typed all that up. I know that every woman who works from home, especially those who are self employed will feel my pain. At least I don't have elderly parents/in laws living locally because I'm told by a good friend in a similar situation to me that that's the WORST. "can you just....?" being a classic conversation starter.