Gutting feeling after being rejected for the perfect job

[mellyskelly]

I had an interview yesterday for a job that would of been perfect for me. I work for the NHS as a band 3 and travel 30 minutes to work in my usual job. I've been off for almost a year on maternity but go back next week and this job was right on my doorstep, a band 4 role in a job that I was genuinely interested in and know I would of done well in. I spent the full weekend researching the role and getting prepared for the scenario I was given. I got the usual comments 'you were a very strong candidate, if we had 2 posts we would of offered you the other but the other candidate scored higher' blah blah ...

I've just put DS down for his nap and gone to bed myself and cried. I just feel so gutted about it. These roles literally never come up, I always look on NHS jobs so I know it's very rare. Especially as I'm looking for part time which the role was. It's made me dread going back to work even more now to my mediocre band 3 job which has no progression. I feel after 10 years experience in the NHS I should of progressed further by now. DP works away from home just so he can provide a better life for us and enable us to get by but just this little bit extra money would of helped us get by if he were to get a job at me. Just wanted to rant a little and get my feelings out as I just feel so bloody gutted about it.

I feel like I was quite blunt on the phone when they told me because I just wanted to get off the phone to cry, so I basically just said thanks for letting me know.

The other candidate might not work out. 🤞

I just feel like such a failure and like I've also let my family down.

You haven't let anyone down because you tried your hardest.

A similar thing happened to me almost to the day last year. Job of a lifetime at a PL football club. I got down to the final two, and the other person got the job. The feedback was - you were great, but the other person was just that bit greater. I was absolutely gutted. I did think, well, what if the other person doesn't work out? But it's been a year so they've obviously got the right person for the job. I'm still disappointed, but I still got further than the other 30 people who were interviewed, and it did give me confidence that I got so far through a process for a really prestigious job.

Try and take positives from it if you can, see if there are any opportunities for personal development in your current role, and if not, see if there are any night classes or job swaps you can do to increase your knowledge and experience for the next time. And really start actively looking for jobs - speak to agencies, get on LinkedIn, speak to friends and associates. Sometimes you don't know what other good things are out there - the world is your oyster.

You seem to having an extreme reaction. We all get rejection but not of us handle it with such extreme thoughts that you are having ‘such a failure, let family down’.
It was a job - not life or death fight.

Is there pressure from others that say why are you only the grade you are? Are you putting unnecessary pressure on yourself?

I'm probably putting too much pressure on myself. It would just of been easier for DP to come and work at home if I was earning more, that's why I feel like I've let them down a bit despite him telling me that's not the case at all. I know a lot of others that started out as a receptionist like myself have managed to progress and further there career where as I feel stuck in my band 3 role. I do really enjoy working for the NHS and it's all I've really known but I feel like it may be time to opening my search elsewhere.

I’m so sorry to hear this! I had a similar experience a few years ago - I was already doing the job temporarily as the original person was on sick leave. They resigned so I went for the job and they employed someone else over me. I was devastated and felt ridiculed. But the new person only lasted a year. Jokes on them as I decided to move away and not reapply when the new person left.

Could you contact them and let them know you would still be available in the future if other jobs came up or something similar? It’s all about who you know sometimes so if you impressed them they could point you in the direction of other possible jobs / make you aware of ones possibly coming up.

Take some time for yourself over the next few days. You obviously did amazing at interview and you should be gentle with yourself. With time, it’ll get easier to digest xx

I had this once when I was rejected after applying for an internal promotion. They gave it to someone who had been with the company for less than a year when I had been there for 3. She was really good at internal politics but objectively her actual results/achievements were much less impressive than mine, so I was furious.

Well, she lasted less than a year in the job before leaving the company. By that time I had already moved on to get a better job at a higher level somewhere else.

The point is there always will be other opportunities and you just need to keep applying for roles.

Oh I can relate to this feeling, it's ok to feel really gutted, but as I've got older I've started to really believe in "if it's meant for you it won't pass you by".

Let yourself feel bad for a day, then no more- maybe drop them an email saying as Awee said above, that you would have loved the role so please consider you for something else in future.

Don't get too despondent.
And remember that you are gaining interview experience.
Best of luck.

You have joined a big club. A lot of people will not have made the sift for the plum job that they had set their hearts on. Your confidence has taken a knock but the sooner that you move on the better.

i have been out of a job for a number of months and the rejection for jobs that I feel I am perfect for, does really hurt. I have realised that my interview skills were not very good (never have been really). So even though i prepare really well I get flustered and waffle. I’m not saying that you do this, but what helped me was doing a video CV for a job application. I cringed at myself but it helped me with the STAR way of answering questions. It’s not that you were not the best candidate, it could be that you weren’t the best in the interview. I feel more in control now, by playing back and videoing the perfect way to answer a question. Try to practice, it helps to manage interview nerves and rejection and I got a job offer yesterday!

There is absolutely nothing I can do about it so I'm trying my put it to the back of my mind. I was actually offered an interview for another band 4 job, not as local and a few more hours than I would prefer but I applied anyway and would of attended but it's for next week on the second day I go back to work so I really don't think I can expect my workplace to allow me time off on my second day back after almost a year off for an interview, and the interview email said they would not be able to accommodate any other days or times unfortunately.

great news that you have the opportunity for a band 4 interview. But yes, it’s absolutely the best thing to protect your current job right now. Other opportunities will come up and you will be ready to take advantage of them.

Could you defer your return to work for another week?

I already added 4 weeks holiday onto the end my maternity leave and I have a week off 2 weeks after I'm back so I really think I would be pushing my luck!

I feel for you. Had a similar experience and was SO upset. Particularly as in my instance they had approached me for the role and then gave a bullshit reason why I didn’t get it…and gave me that reason by text . Absolutely shattered my confidence.

Have heart though - you’re barely back in the office and already had an interview. That’s great!

Sometimes there's someone already working in the role or similar that's known to the department. They obviously do better because they have inside experience

I've ballsed up an interview today Must be something in the water. I should have aced it but I forgot a couple of key terms. It's annoying!

Hi OP I have shared this story before to others who have had interview woes hopefully it will make you feel a bit better !

I once interviewed for the job I had been covering for 6 months - and guess who they hired ? Someone who had never worked in schools or had any experience in any capacity doing the role. And this didn’t happen once but twice !!! The first time I stuck with my original job because actually the person they bought in was really nice and tried really hard but she left after 2 terms because the job was harder than she realised, and then after covering the role again (Only for 2 months this time) they hired a guy who was an arrogant arsehole who was expecting me to do his work because I “knew the job”!! despite the fact he was department head and on a lot more money than me. I quit shortly after that , but he didn’t last long either - served him and them right !

Anyway I work in NHS admin now OP and I work from home - so keep your eye out for any wfh jobs coming up because that may make things a bit easier in terms of costs etc.

I think you could reframe this as a really positive thing. Firstly, you were interested in this alternative opportunity, put yourself out there and got interview experience at that grade with great feedback.

You also definitely know now that you want to move. That's some useful information you didnt have before. So far, so helpful in clarifying your next steps.

I would absolutely email the recruiting manager and say how much you enjoyed the experience and to keep you in mind if any similar opportunities come up. I would also ask for some specific feedback on how you answered specific questions so that you can be even better next time.

I am also nhs and we can keep candidates on file for 3 months if they met the scoring criteria for appointment to the position. You could get a call within the next 3 m offering you a job you haven't even applied for, if they have another post come up. This exact thing happened to me. I got some vague bluster about a possible second post when I had not been successful at interview. A few weeks went by and I forgot all about it. Imagine my surprise when the HR Director called me on a Saturday morning about two months after the original interview.

Then of course any number of things could happen to stop the successful candidate from taking up the post. You can be ready for if this happens.

After that, what can you do to position yourself as a front runner for similar future opportunities? Can you do some shadowing in the role so that you really understand it? Can you identify elements of the role that are a stretch from your current post and put them on your PDP?

Does your current organisation have a talent management strategy where you could ask to be on a register of people to be considered for development opportunities? Could you do any relevant training courses or MOOCs?

Let yourself feel disappointed today and then start putting plans in place tomorrow to go after what you want

You haven't let anyone down. The difference in pay is less than £1000 a year. It works out about £30 a month on full time hours. Keep trying if you want a band 4, look for secondments etc but you would be better working more hours to increase your pay. Our trust is usually looking for people to take on typing to avoid outsourcing.

I allowed myself to feel really gutted about it yesterday but I've woke up more positive today and just trying to make the most of our last week off together. I don't even have a CV because I've only ever applied on NHS jobs for the past few years so I'm going to take some time out over the weekend to make one and start opening my search. I will be doing extra hours wherever I can but childcare is so expensive that it's hardly worth it for what I earn, but family are keen to look over DS where possible so that will be come in helpful.