Posting here for traffic...
My stepmum's Dad had dementia.
She has always been an intensely private person and doesn't like us knowing her business even though she's been our stepmum for 30 years. In the past, she has had times when she gets funny with us over seemly small things so we've always had to tread carefully with her for fear of causing offence or invading her privacy.
She is now getting very forgetful. My sister got a dog 6 months ago and she's met the dog every week. She claims that she's never met the dog and is angry with my sister for keeping the dog from her (even though she hasn't). My sister and her have always had a closer bond but now my sister seems to be very out of favour which is upsetting for my sister.
My question is, how do we help her remember that she has met the dog, gone for dinner, had a visit from my sister etc without making it obvious to my Stepmum that she's very forgetful?
My suggestion is to maybe do a photo album with pictures of her with the dog, her having a cup of tea at my sister's house etc. Would that work?
My stepmum gets extremely defensive if Dad or any of us offer to see the doctor with her. We think that this is why my sister is now public enemy number 1 as she offered to go to the doctor with her to support her with getting to the bottom of a recurring problem. Now, where once my sister could do no wrong, she can now do no right.
My Dad's memory is not as it was either and I think he's been hiding my stepmum's difficulties for a while. He tends to sit on the fence and won't get involved in disagreements between us and Stepmum. Most of the time we all get on.
Any advice gratefully received!