Age gaps with 3 kids

[JumpinJellyfish]

I’ve got a 4 year old DS and a 21 month old DD with a 2.5 year gap. I’ve always wanted 3 kids and initially thought we’d go for a similar or smaller gap again (if possible, but we were lucky to conceive easily before) - so 2-2.5 years.

But I’ve just changed jobs which means that if we go for it, it would mean a 3-3.5 year gap earliest, so the gap between DC1 and DC3 would be 5.5-6 years.

Is this gap too big? Will it make family life difficult when eg DS is 15 and DC3 is 9? Will they still play together? Is it hard managing the needs of older kids with babies?

DC1 and 2 have just started playing together properly and it’s so lovely. I don’t want to disrupt that dynamic but at the same time have always wanted 3 kids (am one of 3 myself).

Bump!

My brother has three children all about 4 years apart so he had a 1,5,9 year old. What I think has helped (broadly...) is that they're all the same sex. So the same sort of toys / interests are shared (they're older now but not stating their exact age) and it's a pretty harmonious house and they all get on and definitely have a relationship with eachother. The middle child in particular has a nice benefit of playing older or younger depending on their mood

Thanks.

Yes I suppose the sex of the kids is a factor, though already have one of each. I have thought that it would probs be better if DC3 was the same sex as DC2. But on the other hand if the middle is different sex to the other 2 maybe there is less chance of middle child syndrome. Not something I could control anyway obviously!

Ours are all older now (20, 14, 12 - boy girl boy) and there was a chunk when DS1 was a young teen where he and DS2 didn't have anything in common and didn't play much but it never felt like a big issue, probably as it never felt like they didn't get along, they just didn't play together. As soon as DS2 discovered Lego they were best buds, even now DS1 loves the 'excuse' of a younger brother to keep getting new sets Middle DD has a really close bond with both of them, when she was younger she idolised DS1 but closer to DS2 as pre-teens onwards. I personally found the bigger gap easier, having a toddler and newborn when DS2 came along was tough!

My brother and I are 4 years apart and never really had much in common as children. However DS’ nearest sister is 7 years older and they have always been close. I don’t think it has much to do with age really.

That’s reassuring @BearSoFair. I know once you get to adulthood age gaps don’t matter at all (and my mum is close to her youngest sister where there is a 14 year gap (5 siblings in between!!)). Did you find that your DS1 was held back from doing stuff on days out/doing extra activities because you had to deal with the baby as well? At the moment we are slightly restricted by DC2’s naps etc which is fine for DC1 as he still benefits from a rest in the middle of the day, but guess that might not apply when he is say 8 and DC3 still naps. But maybe I am overthinking this!

My children are 7 5.5 and 9 months. My daughter started school September and I had baby in November. The age gap has been fine! Much easier than the 21month age gap between the older two x

I have 3 kids and there is a 7.5 year age gap between the oldest and youngest. They are now 10, 5 and just turned 3. The oldest doesn’t have a lot in common with the younger 2. The younger 2 are very close but they are similar natured. I suspect that’s a huge factor in it as my oldest is quite difficult to get on with generally. They do love each other but fight. I can take them to the park etc together. We go swimming it family films are difficult to pick. Also most kids get to a certain age they won’t want to do as many family outings. My 10 year old likes to be with his friends and if he had the option would go to the park with them instead of us. It’s natural and normal.