I know this is bitter of me but tell me he at least thinks about it?

[giamtGiffaffe]

My ex left me when pregnant. I tried to make it work, he wouldn’t. I’ve seen him be promoted twice since then and now… now dc is 7 months old. He’s earning a lot and apparently still single… he was single for 11 years before me so no surprise there. I wish I had never been involved with him, his selfishness was beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. Accordingly to a mutual friend who I’ve since distanced myself from, he considered me to be unhinged and threatening towards him when I asked him to please stop being so difficult and hard work during pregnancy. Even after that I said sorry to keep the peace but he was happy to cut us off.

I feel SO angry on DC’s behalf that he’s never bothered to even meet them. I know I need to box it all off, stop letting it affect me, but it’s not that simple.

I want to believe he remembers he has a child every single day. Every night. Do you think he does?

Does he pay maintenance?

Probably not.
I know men who've done this and the way I see if I know Jupiter exists. But unless it's specifically brought up I never think of it.

I am sorry, but that's probably a good thing.

Would it really make any real difference to your life if he does?

Your situation will still remain unchanged and you'll still be the only parent your child knows.

I've relatives in the same position in that their fathers abandoned them before birth and they've never known them. As far as I know, they've just got on with life without giving the fathers any real thought. It probably took a while for them to get there, but they did eventually.

You can still apply for child maintenance too. It's an option if you wish.

No, I'd think he never thinks about his child.

Sadly, a minority of blokes can walk away without a backward glance. And if he's never even met the child, it's even easier to not think about them at all.

Get counselling, op. To deal with this abandonment. This man will never be who you want him to be. Counseling may help you find acceptance.

I think I just find it hard to accept I got him so wrong. He’s seemed to blame me too in the process.

Have you posted about this before? It sounds familiar.

But to answer your question...no, I doubt he thinks about either of you much. Or cares when he does. 7 months of not caring would suggest that.

Have you gone to your GP to access some counselling about this? If not, you totally should.

It might help to reframe this. He’s a shit. So it’s actually best that he’s fucked off now and isn’t going to further screw you and your child’s life up. Honestly, no father is better than one that makes a child feel unwanted by very occasionally showing up and then rejecting them.

It’s a good thing he’s career minded. He can up his earnings and at the very least contribute financially to his child. Use the CMS and be glad he’s getting promoted.

Concentrate on your life and all the joy in it. You have a lovely baby and you can have a wonderful life. He is a waste of space and your life is better without him in it.

I’d make sure he thinks about the child by chasing maintenance.

He'll definitely think of him every pay day...

Probably not, but how would it help you if he did.

Tell me please that you are getting every Penny you can out of him?

You should make sure he pays for the child.

But honestly? He probably doesn't think about either of you.

I was thinking the same. He can have a reminder on payday via CMS.

Yea started claiming three months ago and 670 come through. I just did the application

I was hoping I’d read that of course his dc never leaves his mind! 😃couldn’t give two hoots whether he thinks of me.

He doesn’t remember his child every day. No. but that is his loss.

You and your child are much better off without a man like this in your life.