Downsizing - when to do it?

[HandbagsnGladrags]

Wasn't sure where to put this but have been pondering on it for a while given the cost of everything increasing at the moment.

We have a large 4 bed house with 7 or 8 years left on the mortgage, and I hope to retire when the mortgage is paid off. Both on second marriages, I have one child (19) and he has two (15 and 21). The oldest two are at uni. Eldest is barely here and doesn't have a bedroom here any more as I WFH and use it as my office. Middle child has barely been home all summer. Youngest is obviously still at school and stays here 3 nights a week.

At some point we will get to the stage where we don't need a 4 bed house any more and I'm interested to hear from those of you who downsized when their kids were older, when you did it? Appreciate we'll probably have to wait til eldest two are through uni and have settled in jobs etc. Then we could maybe get away with only having one spare room.

Any thoughts?

If you’re going to do it, just don’t leave it until you’re too old and tired to be bothered.

Won’t you sometimes still have all your dcs home together, though, e.g. at Christmas? Or other family celebrations? Our dds are long gone and both have their own homes, but they do come and stay sometimes - the elder with her dh and 3 Gdcs. Not to mention other guests now and then.

Although it’s a 4 bed, our house is not over large, nor is the garden, and it’s in a very convenient location with excellent public transport, so we’ve never felt the need to downsize.

It’d be a rather different matter in a bigger house with half an acre and 3 buses a week, though.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER I don't see the point in keeping a big house for the rare occasions where we might have everyone at once. I'd rather have a spare room for visitors and save some money for my retirement. This could make the difference between me retiring at the desired age, or not.

This our plan, our youngest is in the final year of uni, so we are looking to move into 2 bedrooms, possibly just a flat.
I want to live somewhere to suit me and dh, easy to clean and maintain and close to transport links.
I know people with dc in their 40s who have kept on a big house for them to visit at Christmas, this is not the future I want for myself.

I know people with dc in their 40s who have kept on a big house for them to visit at Christmas, this is not the future I want for myself.

No me neither...we pay a cleaner at the moment but I would love somewhere which is smaller and easier to maintain. It feels like such a waste having a big house for two people.

The time to do it is while you’re still physically able to pack up, move, and redecorate a whole house.

We are downsizing this week.
Total chaos!

Our dc are teens and want to live in the city center.
So we are downsizing to a three bed townhouse.
They will be able to have more independence.

Once the chaos has passed I'm looking forward to less cleaning and less stuff.
I will say it is a lot of work, I wouldn't want to be too old doing this.

My in-laws have a big house so we can visit at christmas. But its on a rota anyway as each family takes a turn. I think each christmas costs around 20k taking into account those we have had and another 10 (which would put them over 100 on the rota) but they worry about heating and food costs.

My Aunt has downsized from a large 4 bedroom house to a two bedroom Bungalow six months ago. She waited until her youngest child was 25 and in their own home. She had lived there 30 years. It was her eldest child who found the move the most difficult.

Before she moved she spent at least six months decluttering and selling/giving away large pieces of furniture. She still says she has got much more to do and has quite a few unopened boxes in the loft. She found this aspect the hardest part of downsizing.

She also took the opportunity to move away from a rural village to small town and her bungalow is within walking distance of a few shops and GP surgery.

My Aunt feels the move has given her back her independence. Less housework, DIY, Gardening and more fun! Financially she is a lot more secure. She has joined a couple of local groups and is socialising a lot more.

We did it while youngest was at uni. They had no interest in returning home and didn't. We have a spare bedroom and bathroom for non existent guests because when dc come even at Christmas they never stay over. They all live within an hour away so there's no need for more than one spare room imo which we use for other things but have a just in case sofa bed in it which has been adopted by our dogs. We have never regretted downsizing, less maintenance, decorating, bills etc. Also we were able to buy our home and a rental outright with the equity which enabled us to work part time and now I've retired this year and DH will follow shortly. Best idea we ever had.

@Bearsan that sounds ideal. Love hearing these success stories.

In a way we have already downsized. Recently moved from a 3 bed house to a 3 bed bungalow. We are in our early 40's with one 6yr old Dd. The bungalow enables us to change the space so suit us as our dghtr grows but means we will never need to move again. We are close to all local amenities and can walk to them all.

We got rid of a lot of furniture and belongings and want to be more mindful about what we bring into the home in future.

However it was not cheaper than our house - the bungalow cost more - my parents who are in their late 60's and would benefit from a bungalow would not be able to afford our bungalow just with the sale of their house and they no longer want a mortgage so are stuck.

Do it sooner rather than later as moving is tiring as is decorating and sorting belongings. Not to mention very emotional.

Also I feel a lot more secure when it comes to the energy crisis now as we have lovely comfy warm rooms that will not cost loads to heat.

I wouldn’t choose to downsize too much.

4 bed with large garden, down to 3 bed with smaller garden. You would still want an office presumably and a spare room, plus own bedroom. Plus I find lots of people ie my parents now want own bedrooms when older as wake more often and disturb each other

We did it when all four children were late teens/20ish. 13 years later, two still live at home, and we all talk about our lovely big house we left. But this one is cheaper to run, easier to maintain and in a location we all prefer.

We moved to a smaller 4 bedroom when our first started Uni 2013 !We have yet to have the house to ourselves and our living area is actually quite small We really regret downsizing because our adult children all came home for a while whilst finding their feet post graduation!
Given the cost of living etc I now wouldn't be un a rush because you really could end up with the children back home !

my parent's moved sideways when I was 25 or so - out of London to a similar size of house in a MUCH cheaper location. they gave a chunk of the money freed up to me & my siblings for a house deposit which has made a massive difference to our lives.

I think this is true.
Too many stay in their old family home until the thought of this just becomes too much.

It does depend to some extent on where your adult dc live and if they are likely to stay over with you when they visit though.

I am waiting until they have all finished University and are settled in their jobs, and know where they will be likely to be living. I already know one will be local (and currently has space for guests) so if their siblings live far away, they will be able to stay with them, not far from us - which is something we can factor in.

It’s easy to leave it too late from what I’ve seen. My ILs shut off half their downstairs rooms and 3/4 of the upstairs over winter - unless they have people staying. I dread to think of the mould issues they are creating .

I feel that with the current housing crisis it's almost immoral to have lots of extra bedrooms as a couple when there aren't enough houses for families. We will be downsizing too. I think your idea of doing it when all the children are through university and settled is good. I also don't think it's worth having several bedrooms for the rare occasions when family might come and stay together. My parents are now downsizing and it does mean we won't be able to stay with them but that's fine. We'll simply stay in a B and B near thrrm (to be honest this will be much more comfortable for all involved). I think my parents left downsizing way too late. All they children are in their 40s and my parents are in their 70s/80s and moving is a huge strain on them but they have to do it. The house is way too big now and they can't cope. I'd say don't leave it too late. Having one spare bedroom is enough.

I'd say when your kids have their own homes, and as the youngest is a few years younger you could still downsize from four to two as you say you want to keep a guest room, which would be your youngest's now, though that limits where you move to due to school.
I downsized last year as I moved back to London, and the sale of my big four bed, four reception room detached house with pool would have bought me a very small two bed flat here! So liquidating some other assets and we have a three bed plus box room terrace with small garden. My son didn't move with us so for two (me and my 17 year old) it's perfect, and there's a room for my son when he visits. Had to get rid of all my furniture though and start again as other than a bed nothing fit.

One issue to consider with downsizing is that young adults often return home these days, whether only after uni or much later after a relationship breakdown. That has happened to me twice now and just happened to a friend and I know others.
The other issue, if you are older, maybe retirement age (and no kids returning), do you downsize to a one bed ground floor flat/bungalow to facilitate old age or just a bit smaller/more convenient location. I did the latter and may have to downsize again later.

Of course it isn't as straightforward as being able to just move to a house with fewer bedrooms and a smaller garden.
I've been looking on-line for a long time at what we might move to.
One thing we definitely want is to be detached, for example - We've worked our way up the property ladder, and our budget ought to give us more choice, but it is very difficult (where we live anyway) to find a smaller house, that is detached. Same with parking - we want to be able to park 2 cars (at least) on a drive. Again, you tend to be looking at larger houses with big gardens for that to be a thing, in the areas we want to live.
I know it won't be the same everywhere, but when people say people not using all their bedrooms "ought to" downsize, they aren't necessarily taking into account what people might need when they are buying what is likely to be their final house before going into supported living.
So one thing I think is sensible, is to have a house where - if need be - you could have a bedroom downstairs without building work, which, again, doesn't seem to be the way 2 bed houses are designed.

Sorry but I don't understand why you would keep a large house on the off chance that this happens. I want all the kids to be independent, and if I'm totally honest I don't want young adults living with me into my 60s. If anything I'd rather make it difficult for them to take the easy option any just move home. Plus, the stepkids have a mother too. This might make me sound a bit selfish but I'd quite like to retire in the next 8 years or so and enjoy that retirement in peace.