Confidence shot, income going to go to, will I manage?

[bloute]

I’m on maternity and just before, I had a breakdown basically. Partner left, I just couldn’t cope. I was earning 4K a month. I am due to go back to work in a year but 1) I sense a discerplinery may be on the way as I went off sick after doing some poor quality work which they haven’t had chance to talk to me about and 2) my confidence is in pieces as a person and professionally.

I get some fixed income of 700 and have 7k savings. But my outgoing as a minimum are 1500 a month. I just don’t think I can’t cope with life anymore at work, I used to love it but I have no confidence now. I don’t know how to find the 800 a month I wil need if I lose my job which is likely. I’m highly educated but can do naff all other than my professional job but would be happy doing cleaning or similar, would I make 800 a month? I don’t even know. I’m feeling really broken and scared.

Don't give up your well paying job!

If you had an understandable breakdown when your partner left that's very understandable and I would expect a decent employer to react sympathetically. It's not a capability issue but a personal one and people have these all the time.
Don't forget the law says that it is pregnancy discrimination to treat a woman unfavourably because of her pregnancy or pregnancy-related illness.

I'm not surprised your confidence has taken a dive but finish your maternity leave and give it some time to build up again. Be kind to yourself.

@madroid i just don’t think I can anymore. I’m terrified of going back. I was off for 3 months in pregnancy and now it’s a year since I even worked. I feel like they want to get rid of me too. Im so overwhelmed and need a back up plan

If you go to the Acas website, you may find some useful info there but if not the the citizens advice bureau.

Hope this helps.

Go onto the entitled to website as you may be entitled to universal credit while you are on maternity and a single parent.

Aw huni, you know what...things sometimes aren't as bad as you think they are. Let's break it down...How much of this is reality? Have they actually said the word disciplinary? I work in HR and I know it would be highly unlikely to jump a lady just off maternity into a disciplinary, if they do then that's just plain cruel. You've had a rough time, your confidence has been shot but you know what, it's all temporary feelings.

What's the worst can happen? You go back, face the music and get a written warning? Big deal, life goes on. Take it one step at a time and don't give up that job because of 'maybes'..you have a right to be accompanied at work meetings by a trade union or a work colleague so you will never be on your own if it comes to it x

I think you would really benefit from some CBT, given that you have been through some trauma and major life changes. It could do wonders for your confidence too. Baby steps each day at a time, take back control of your life xx

Even if they sacked you it wouldn't be the end of the world.

It sounds like you've had a really rough time and your anxiety is getting out of hand.

Really think about this - are you a good person? Do you do your best? Are you looking after your baby okay? I bet the answer is yes to all! So that means you're okay doesn't it?

You have as much right to be here, to have a good life and to make your own decisions as anyone else. You are no one's inferior.

Plus you are now a mother. What sort of example do you want to set your child? A courageous, no nonsense woman who faces down her fears? Or someone who lets other's opinions take her over?

@Fairygarden1992 thanks. I feel like that was what was coming before I went off sick so surely they’ll pick it up again soon? What happens if I have to have a meeting? I just don’t think I can cope with much more. I want to run away from it.

@bloute no you won't be running away from anything.

So you made a boo-boo, you were under stress at the time, relationship falling apart at home and a baby on the way. You are sorry, you have learned from it and it wont happen again. Can you meet with your manager informally before you return and you can express your anxiety about returning to your role? They have a huge duty of care to you OP, their approach should and will be one of support. This mistake happened what..a year and a half ago? I would say it's water under the bridge at this stage. This is nowhere near as big as it is in your mind.

Everyone fucks up, I should have been sacked a long time ago trust me 😂