Scattering ashes help

[Jamandcheesesandwich]

Hello

I have been given permission too rest my stepdad's ashes in a local park ,I have chosen a nice secluded area with trees etc.

They have asked that a hole is dug and the ashes put in it

My question is, having never done this before is

How much ash is there, he was a big bloke, will a trowel be fine or will I need a spade for the size of hole

Mum and me are doing it so want to know what's in the cascate

He was cremated 5 years ago so this is him being laid to rest now

Thanks

There won't be pounds (sorry to put it like that), it's very fine, dust-like. You can gauge it from the size of the urn, so I would say a trowel will be fine. Sorry for your lost OP.

One thing to consider is how hard the ground is. It may be easier when there’s been some more rain.

Hmmm, we scattered ashes at a favourite beach. We chose a quiet spot away from everyone on a midweek day last Autumn.

I was actually amazed at how much ash there was so go prepared to dig more than you think you’ll need to. Take both trowel and spade.

Make sure there is no wind. The ash is very fine & can blow around. Nothing more disconcerting than being covered in human ash. Yes, it happens. This I know. 🙄

Spade. Definitely. Think the kind of hole you would dig to plant a substantial bush.

I was shocked at the amount. We poured out my mother’s ashes and I thought it would go on forever

Isn't it usually about 3kg? Imagine a couple of bags of flour. It's more than you expect.

Also the ground is rock hard at the moment.

DH's ashes are in a box that measures 20cm x 15 cm x 15cm, I reckon a trowel would be fine except the ground here is so bloody hard a stick of dynamite wouldn't crack it open at the moment.

There is likely to be the equivalent of about 2-3 kilo bags of sugar, so you will need to be able to dig a large enough hole, to be sure you have enough soil to cover them over.

Are the ashes being poured directly into the earth, or will they stay in the urn/casket?

The funeral home/any funeral director will sell you a proper tube with a scattering dispenser at one end so you can control the flow of ashes into the hole.
Its a sober experience and we said a little goodbye verse (non religious) as we poured what seemed like a ton of ash into the incoming tide.

If it's an area with trees, it might be quite hard to dig a hole because of roots. I think I'd take trowel, hand fork, gardening gloves and a kneeler and be prepared to be quite patient digging out a hole big enough.

Thanks everyone, i was going to take some water to soften the ground, it's grass so hopefully that might help

a spade it is then

when you open the urn , are the ashes in anything or is it open direct to ashes

Ours was open to ashes, you might ask the park if they have a groundsperson who might dig the hole for you beforehand?

That's a good idea thanks

We took my mum's ashes to her favourite beach and snuck down to a dune to do it. What we hadn't counted on was that they had become really sold in the year they'd been sitting around! It became really funny as I was trying to dig these big lumps out of this beautiful tube while dd2 was looking out for dog walkers..In the end we managed to bury them discreetly but it wasn't the gentle quiet day we'd planned!

*solid

These have been sitting for 5 years, mums only got to the point of wanting to do this, thanks for the heads up about possibly becoming solid

Agree with the PP, my Dad’s ashes had been waiting over 2 years and were very solid. Like a big heavy brick. They weren’t in an urn, they were in a paper bag - like a big white sandwich bag. We tipped them in to the hole out of the bag. (You would need a spade to dig a deep square hole.)

The ashes were buried in the garden of the church. It was a very simple ceremony, but beautiful, and afterwards we laid a wreath.

So sorry for your loss. I was considering doing his after a recent bereavement but decided to bury in a casket instead, however, the funeral director did give me some advice. She advised to bend down low, so be near the ground when scattering otherwise it can blow back onto you. The scattering tube which another poster mentioned is a good idea to control the rate of flow to make it more dignified and to ensure the remains go in the hole. Good luck. Maybe contact the funeral director and see if they can advise/help you further.