I’ve spent virtually the last eight days in bed, or sitting on top of it .
GP said I have PTSD, but the waiting list for NHS therapy is very long, estimated start of treatment from the team I’ve been assessed by is January 2025 .
I’ve been passed on to another couple of teams but again, long waiting lists and GP said as long as I can function to an extent I’m not high priority, not at risk etc .
I’m hardly moving . I’m eating sometimes, occasionally walk to the kitchen and force myself to eat a meal, though I think I’m a bit dehydrated now, definitely not drinking enough . But the rest of the time I can’t bear the reality of what’s happening in my life that I just want to shut my eyes, close the curtains and sleep so I don’t have to face it anymore .
Most of the day I just count down the hours until it’s acceptable to go to sleep again .
I’m either crying or panicking or staring silently at the ceiling .
I don’t know what to do .
My usual supports are all otherwise occupied this week and as such as I’ve spent every day alone since last Friday .
I’m desperate . I’ve had a mental health crisis 2 or 3 times and this feels like another big crash but experiende tells me even with that you’re months before the NHS help and need to actively seriously harming, etc, before they do anything .