WWYD found out friends best mate's husband cheated

[emanonsah]

Approx 15 years ago or so I was away with a large group and on the last night of the trip a lot of people got super drunk and got together. I didn't as I was with DH at the time although he was DBF back then. Anyway I am now working with and am becoming friendly with a woman who has introduced me to her best friend and best friend's DH but I remember him as being one of the people who was there and got it on with someone who I was friends with at the time. I realise that he and his DW must have been together at the time and even she may have been pregnant as she has a teenage daughter. The mutual friend who I work with is trying to get us all to hang out together and I feel arkward about it as he must know I know. What should I do- nothing or tell the woman I am becoming friends with? This is her best friend so it would put her in an awkward position

I’m all for telling partners about cheats. But on this occasion I’d keep quiet.

I would do absolutely nothing. It was a lifetime ago, you don't know what the situation was at the time and it's going to be hard to prove it. You will come out of this looking like a fool, although I know you mean well. My answer would be different if this happened last week, let sleeping dogs lie as the saying goes

Oh no. Say nothing. No one will thank you. Seriously, keep out of it

Not sure why you would think of even doing something tbh.

Just leave it alone.

Glad this is what you all say as my gut has told me to do nothing so I needed to hear that I wasn't doing the wrong thing!

You don't even know what happened or if anything happened even.
Leave well alone.
If you don't enjoy their company, keep your distance from this couple.

At the time they were planning to move to another country together- they moved abroad for 6 years then came home with 2 kids in tow

I'd normally say something but in this case I'd not. It was a long time ago.

Yes I know for sure something happened as it was with a friend of mine but he was just a random at the time

Did you stand over them while they were shagging? Do you actually know this happened? How do you know he didn't confess and they have worked through it?
It's buggat all to do with you so my advice is mind your own business

It's 15 years ago. I would forget about it.

Totally forget it. You don't know exactly what happened. Maybe they had and still have an open relationship. Just leave it.

Maybe he has a twin brother.

Also, absolutely don't say anything.

This is completely mad. A colleague has newly introduced you to a friend of hers, and you even considered telling a woman you barely know about a sexual encounter that may or may have happened (your only evidence is hearsay) on a drunken night out around fifteen years ago even though you don’t know whether there was in fact any infidelity, and it involves a friend of a friend and a friend of a friend’s husband? And you think he’s going to remember you were there from a single pissed night out around a decade and a half ago???

Just erase it from your memory. That’s a huge can of worms!

Ancient history, let it lie.

I am going to guess that he doesn’t remember the friend of a woman, he has a one night stand with 15 years ago. Why would he?

he probably wouldn’t even remember you if you had a longish conversation with him.

and there’s every chance you are incorrect and it’s not him.

I'm actually quite amused that I'm being slightly attacked here. My gut feeling was to say nothing and I was looking to check that this was the general consensus and that I wasn't going to be doing the wrong thing by not saying anything.

To be clear, it is definitely the same guy. He remembers me from that trip, we have talked about the fact we were both on it. He may or may not realise that I was really good friends with the girl and he definitely did shag her that evening. As I say, I was not going to say anything , I just wanted to check that people were in agreement with this.

I have only just met his wife and I did not know that at the time he was in a relationship. At the time I was excited for my friend who had hooked up with him and she actually thought it was going to lead to a relationship when we all got home. She did see him a few times when we got back so it wasn't just a one night thing, but it was a short lived one.

Thanks for the comment, you are right, he may have come clean previously and they may have worked through it. He may well be bricking it now because he knows I know about his infidelity. So he may even come clean now.

I am not and was not intending to tell the wife anything. I was Just wondering whether I should tell my new friend and colleague the reason I'm not super keen on hanging out with them as it's bloody awkward! But don't worry I will keep my gob shut. You are right it would only come bad on me!

‘slightly attacked’ 😂

People are baffled. I genuinely don’t get why you would even think putting your work colleague (she may be your friend but she is your work colleague) in a bad position. Or why you would consider telling anyone after all this time, when you don’t know the details of his relationship at the time.

Any way this plays out, it ends badly for you.

He knows you were there and has talked about the trip with you. So clearly he isn’t feeling awkward or concerned about it, if he openly spoke to you about being there. So I don’t understand the awkwardness of him knowing you know.

The fact that people are confused as to why you would even think of doing this, doesn’t equate to them ‘slightly attacking’ you.