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Original poster

If you have autism, how can I make things easier for you at work?

33 replies

buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:29

We have had a very lovely new girl start with us recently, she has autism so can be a little hard to read as she doesn't talk very much. From your experience if you autism is there anything that you wish was/wasn t done? I really want to ensure she enjoys her time with us but I have no experience with asd so I'm unsure whether to keep talking to her to bring her out of herself (if you know what I mean) honestly any tips or advise would be well received

OP posts:
PinkBuffalo · 19/08/2022 21:33

I have autism and work but you really need to speak to you staff member and find out more about her
I could tell you all about my reasonable adjustments and the support my manager give me but it could be completely different for this lady
my manager had and still has lots of chats with me and really got to know me I trust her completely

Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:38

Thanks so much for replying to me. I intend
To get to know her but I don't want to be too chatty incase she doesn't like that. I'm sure as time passes it will figure itself out x

OP posts:
mattressspring · 19/08/2022 21:40

Listen to her. Respect her boundaries.

Hillrunning · 19/08/2022 21:41

I would want my employer to make reasonable adjustments through a formal process with an HR rep present who does know about autism. I would like my manager not to make assumptions, but rather treat me as an individual. I would like them to fully respect and uphold any agreements and be flexible to changing thoes agreements and ever ever make me feel like I was using the situation to my advantage.

Treelines · 19/08/2022 21:41

I need somewhere quiet to retreat to if the office is loud. And if I’m wearing headphones, it means not to interrupt me. Plus not too much pressure on social events.

Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:42

@PinkBuffalo thank
You for replying. It's just getting to know her boundaries while getting to know her if that makes sense. I want to be friendly but im unsure if me being friendly comes across as intense and annoying

OP posts:
BoardLikeAMirror · 19/08/2022 21:43

Firstly - the fact you are asking this question and want to support your new team member is great. As the previous poster said, you really need to ask your employee what she needs to make working life easier, as the adjustments one person has might not be relevant for someone else.

General things, as she is new to the business - do you have a disability support network or mentoring scheme (I realise these are usually only found in larger organisations but you don't mention the size of yours) - if so, make her aware of these and how to access them if she chooses to do so.

Don't try to force the issue of 'bringing her out of herself'. It's important to build trust first by being there and available and ready to listen, but not making her feel under pressure to do anything she isn't comfortable with. Invite her to let you know (and tell her how she can do so in privacy) if there are things she doesn't feel comfortable with.

Ultimately you can build a profile of adjustments which can be amended as needed and stay with her throughout her employment with you.

Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:44

Thanks all so much. Btw I'm
Not a manger I'm simply just a colleague so I can't do the HR side of things. I'll follow her lead on things and take it from there. You've been so helpful xxx

OP posts:
Hillrunning · 19/08/2022 21:46

Is your company part of the UK business disability Forum OP? If so there are lots of useful resources on there regarding reasonable adjustments. Only she can tell you what she needs. Personally, noise and light is a massive issue for me. As is where i sit in a room. Being expected to spend my non paid lunch with collegaues (no matter how much I like them) is hard. I also need a small dark quiet place to go to decompress sometimes. But what they need may be totally different, or they may not yet know what they need if the job is new to them.

MisgenderedSwan · 19/08/2022 21:47

Things my friend / workmate does: wear loop style ear plugs to dull the office noise. Wear headphones with brown noise/quiet music when concentrating on a task, plan breaks for a quieter time in the staff kitchen by going later, have a designated work space that nobody else uses.

I would recommend talking to her and asking her. Maybe send a preemptive email laying out what you would like to discuss so she can prepare/make notes/think about adjustments that could help. Some people could need next to no adjustments and prefer that no one makes a fuss, others may have a plan that they can suggest.

ThePontiacBandit · 19/08/2022 21:47

It really is very individual. For me, set working days help. My biggest issue is - the assumption that I’ll just know things or learn things quickly. I learn new skills by observing and doing them over and over again. I remember in my assessment, the assessor said to me “You don’t have the same instincts as most people (meaning neurotypicals). You can learn by doing and repetition but it will take you longer.” My ideal work place would have a quiet place to could go to/work from if I was overwhelmed. Noise and light stimuli are big triggers with me. I tend to have things to hand that I can stimm subtlety, which help with my sensory needs.
She could request an Access to work assessment if your employer is signed up for it? They will look at what they can offer.
It’s great that you care enough to ask here.

Theillustratedmummy · 19/08/2022 21:47

As pp said about asking her.

For me I just want to be left to get on with my job. I get on well with my manager and colleagues and I don't mind the odd chat but im not bothered about social stuff in the office and I also prefer not to have lengthy discussions about tasks. Just give me the work and let me figure it out, if I can't il come to you.

Hillrunning · 19/08/2022 21:47

Oh I see. Not a manager. In that case, I'd probably want you to talk to me a bit less but be kind and nice when you do.

Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:48

@Hillrunning thanks so much! That's lots of great points you've made. She's also only young and it's her first job so I'm sure she's nervous and overwhelmed.

OP posts:
IScreamAtMichaelangelos · 19/08/2022 22:01

buffalamb · 19/08/2022 21:48

@Hillrunning thanks so much! That's lots of great points you've made. She's also only young and it's her first job so I'm sure she's nervous and overwhelmed.

The difficulty then is that she might not know what she needs herself, if it's her first ever job. I certainly struggled when starting my current career but couldn't have told you what would make it better then. In retrospect, I would have benefited from people being Very Very Clear what they wanted and when. People tend to speak in code IMO (albeit unintentionally), and I would have found life a lot easier if they had spoken plainly. As an example: "Junior person, please do you have time to do this thing today? No worries if not" meant "Do it unless you have an excellent reason not to". Similarly, "I have reviewed your work and made some suggestions for implementation, see what you think" meant "Make these changes; I wouldn't have suggested them if I didn't think they were needed". Took me years to learn the above 😂

It's nice that you're thinking of her :)

froufroulala · 19/08/2022 22:04

My 23 year old is autistic. He doesn't cope well if something is sprung upon him or changes. He likes advance warning which of course in the workplace isn't always possible. His personality changes instantly. Things like this are worth knowing as it can help support them. Be friendly but don't overthink, she will find her own way.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 19/08/2022 22:06

Please dont interrupt and talk over each other in meetings.

If you are giving me instructions be concrete.

Cherrysherbet · 19/08/2022 22:09

My Son has Aspergers, and I am trying to help him find employment atm. It’s a very difficult process.
I just wanted to say thank you op, for your kindness, and for making the effort to understand that this person needs a little extra help to feel comfortable in her new working environment.
I wish there were more people like you in this world.

BobbitWorm · 19/08/2022 22:12

Agree with others about speaking to her as it is very individual. However, for me, I hate it when people assume I know what they are talking about, and who use gray language. Especially in meetings when there is a quick subject change, I find it hard to follow.

Start a conversation at the beginning, so many people don't do that. Check for understanding in a non judgemental way. Don't assume she knows what you are on about if you are being nonspecific and you are asking her to do something for the first time. So no things like "Oh that meeting next week, order refreshments". Say " We need refreshments for the 10am meeting on Tuesday. Can you make sure we get biscuits, juices, coffee, teas and sparkling water. Julie Smith who sits by me will show you how to order these in. Do you know Julie? Shall I introduce you?"

I clam up and appear cold or distant when I am really confused and don't feel comfortable saying that. I also pretend to understand when I don't. I easily get overwhelmed and my brain shuts down.

At the start of my career this was problematic. I got fired three times as the communication was a problem. Nowadays I am okay, and I am somehow very senior in a respectable position. I treat people like I need to be treated and have a reputation as a nurturing leader. So what I need isn't too different from what everyone else does.

YellowPlumbob · 19/08/2022 22:14

Ask her. We aren’t her.

But for me - I need break times to be down time. Where I can be “off”. Don’t socialise with me. I’m also not interested in any team bonding bullshit either

BoardLikeAMirror · 19/08/2022 22:22

As an example: "Junior person, please do you have time to do this thing today? No worries if not" meant "Do it unless you have an excellent reason not to". Similarly, "I have reviewed your work and made some suggestions for implementation, see what you think" meant "Make these changes; I wouldn't have suggested them if I didn't think they were needed". Took me years to learn the above

Oh, yes, this.

Senior person: 'Have you got five minutes?' = 'I need to talk to you now even if you are really busy.'

Senior person in huddle to team: "What does everyone think of Latest Wonderful New Initiative" = Do not under any circumstances take this as a good opportunity to list in minute detail all the problems you have identified with it.

Probably obvious to most people, not to me.

Iamamoleandiliveinahole22 · 19/08/2022 22:32

You're amazing for caring, wish there were more like you in the world I really do. Educate yourself as much as you can about ASD. Talk to her about your interest in making her happy and comfortable at work when you feel it's the right time. Lovely post , thank you

Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 22:34

@YellowPlumbob oh I hate team bonding n nonsense too - you're not alone! Thanks again for your input

OP posts:
Original poster
buffalamb · 19/08/2022 22:36

@Iamamoleandiliveinahole22 aww that's sweet of you. Thanks you. I just know how hard it is starting a new job as a young person and if I can make her experience even just a tiny bit better then I would like to do so. Xx

OP posts:
WalrusSubmarine · 19/08/2022 22:48

Maybe also just keep an eye out for ‘henpecking’, for want of a better word (low level bullying, pushing around or ostracism) Because the social skills and network may not be strong they might need a bit more help dealing with office politics.

They might be fine! But I think can sometimes be an easy target for the office asshole or busybody.