Some days I'm just sad

[Diamondinthesolesofhershoes]

I'm sad today. Its hard and I'm feeling very guilty about my life choices.

I always wish things were different.

It's fine to have no children, one child or several children. Children absolutely do not need a sibling to be happy. A sibling might make them happier, might make them less happy, might be neutral. It's way more important for a child to have good parenting, ideally from happy parents.

Bad diet won't be helping your mood - move away from the biscuits!
Where were you planning on going?

Just out for some drinks and food.

I'm just never happy with anything

Could you maybe go out for a bit then make an excuse for a quick exit if you're not feeling it? Do the people you're with know how things are affecting you?

It's my dp. He has some idea.

Try to open up and talk to him, if he's a keeper he will listen.

What do you think would make you happy? Sorry for all the questions 😅

I thought getting married would and it didn't. I thought having a kid would and it has a little.

Those things aren't for everyone. What about job, hobbies, social life etc?

Work 4 days and still skint lol. Not much time due to being a single parent

I'm confused OP you said you didn't want to get married but you thought getting married would make you happy?
You were a bitch during your marriage? Don't ruminate over this he probably deserved it hence why you divorced him.
I am a single mum to 2 DC and I find myself involved in their hobbies, it gets easier! I hope you are seeking support from your DP and things improve for you so you enjoy your time with your DC.

I was too scared to pull out of the wedding. I should have. He barely sees ds and its all on his terms. He can go a week without seeing him and weeks at a time without him staying in his house.

I was a bitch I felt trapped.

My 2 DC are to 2 different fathers. 1 is an arse will see DC sometimes once a week can't stay over and then will take DC for 5 or 6 nights and think he is wonderful and want an award. The other is arse number 2 who lives a distance away but won't have DC at holidays and has 1 weekend a month books a hotel for them to stay the weekend in and that is it. He also will collect DC for his weekend he and if DC plays up will bring DC back! Some people are just arseholes. You stay strong and your DC will know you are amazing.

You probably weren't a bitch. You just feel like you were because you are being hard on yourself. Life is hard enough without you judging your own actions. Forget about the past and concentrate on making your best future.

If two people are incompatible together this can happen op. The chemistry can bring out qualities in a person that it would not evoke with someone else or if on their own. I wouldn't beat yourself up about all of this.

I didn’t divorce,
because of the damage done to me when my parents divorced
I spent my childhood unhappy and wishing they were back together
they both remarried with new children,and I didn’t fit anywhere
so I didn’t divorce,when perhaps the next person would of done .
but with age comes wisdom ,and I can now see ,it would of made no difference to my life if my parents had stayed together..they were not capable of parenting or of ever putting me first .childhood was going to be shit because of who they were ,regardless of if they stayed together.
your on here op ,worried about your son ,that shows you care ,that you are putting him first ,thinking of his needs ,nothing like my shit parents.
would you consider going back on some meds ? Do you feel they helped you ? Do you feel maybe you came of them to soon .
depression is the bitch from hell ,good look op xxx

Yes I swear by my meds been needing them since my thirties and I am now late fifties. The doctor explained to me some people lack serotonin as they get older. He was a locum GP. I am on the spectrum so more prone to anxiety and depression than many.

Just in case this is of any help to you op if you are low in mood and feeling irritable then consider whether you may be low in iron. The other day it dawned on me my reduced ability to concentrate plus feeling low especially in the mornings and and also struggling to take things in was due to iron deficiency. I have been prone to this since my twenties. I have started taking Floradix again.

I've been on and off meds since I've been 20. I just want some time without. I wad a very anxious child. I do wonder if I'm not neurotypical sometimes.

I wasn't a very anxious child but my sleep disorder began age 15.