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Original poster

Anyone else struggle with other peoples kids out?

20 replies

Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 13:04

Having been out with a friend and her kids a few times and having taken out DS’s friend out during my limited annual leave I find myself increasingly annoyed by other peoples kids. My kids are far from perfect but I struggle when kids are rude and keep demanding things - I’m talking about teenagers rather than toddlers. I also find it quite boring and a totally different atmosphere to just going out as a family. Anyone else or am I being unfair. People take my kids out and I’m sure find them annoying in different ways.

OP posts:
Gallant282 · 19/08/2022 13:39

I think it depends on the kidd. DS is an only child so we've always got his friends with us, they're all lovely except one who is an absolute pain in the arse. Thankfully the friendship has fizzled out.

Mumspair1 · 19/08/2022 13:42

I had ds friend over for a playdate and we decided after that to discourage this friendship. The boy was unbelievably rude, very forward and won't have him again. It's a shame as his mum is so lovely.

TheVanguardSix · 19/08/2022 13:50

Some friends have been amazing but mostly, in my 20 years of doing this shtick, I certainly have found other people’s kids harder work than my own rusty-haloed sugarplums. 😁
I will say this, my eldest is 20. So he and his friends from the era before phones and social media (in childhood- by the teens, it all kicked off) were a bit less demanding than my younger two’s friends. My 12 year old DD’s friends were peak demanding! TikTok has SO much to answer for. It endlessly feeds the ‘I want! I want!’ beast that lurks in every child. I say were peak demanding because I no longer do days out with them at this age. Her friends were downright exploitive! The demands were obscene at times, no exaggeration. They just saw other parents as money trees and pulled behaviour they’d never dare attempt to pull in their own home.
My youngest is 8 and autistic so doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t enjoy big days out. Believe me, I love it! It’s actually really balanced and mellow. He’s happy! I’m relieved! 😁

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Families
Skinnermarink · 19/08/2022 13:52

Ive been a nanny for about 12 years longer than I’ve been a mum so I’m afraid I tell them if they’re out of line/remind them to be polite/correct any rudeness.

i can’t help it.

TheVanguardSix · 19/08/2022 13:52

Sorry… I am severely under slept! My sentence structure is a mess! 😳
But you get what I’m attempting to say. 🤪
💤💤💤

Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 13:55

No worries - I added an extra “out” to the title!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 13:58

so glad it’s not just me! DS’s friend in particular just continually demands things and it drives me crazy. I always end up spending more than I expected to and he still makes me feel bad because I have said no to some things. His mum always sends him with money but he spends it like water on ridiculous stuff.

OP posts:
Skinterior · 19/08/2022 14:00

Yup. Only like two of DS's little friends. The rest are utterly forgettable or irritating.

I can't imagine they give me or my opinion of them a second thought. I love DS and that's all that matters.

Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 14:00

I do try to correct them when they are out of line, but I know I’m a lot stricter than other parents so I never know where the line is with other peoples children.

OP posts:
Lovemylittlebear · 19/08/2022 14:01

Some of my kids friends are lovely and they are genuinely really nice to be around and a couple of them are really bloody hard work and entitled. It depends on the kids x

Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 14:05

TheVanguardSix · 19/08/2022 13:50

Some friends have been amazing but mostly, in my 20 years of doing this shtick, I certainly have found other people’s kids harder work than my own rusty-haloed sugarplums. 😁
I will say this, my eldest is 20. So he and his friends from the era before phones and social media (in childhood- by the teens, it all kicked off) were a bit less demanding than my younger two’s friends. My 12 year old DD’s friends were peak demanding! TikTok has SO much to answer for. It endlessly feeds the ‘I want! I want!’ beast that lurks in every child. I say were peak demanding because I no longer do days out with them at this age. Her friends were downright exploitive! The demands were obscene at times, no exaggeration. They just saw other parents as money trees and pulled behaviour they’d never dare attempt to pull in their own home.
My youngest is 8 and autistic so doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t enjoy big days out. Believe me, I love it! It’s actually really balanced and mellow. He’s happy! I’m relieved! 😁

Im definitely veering towards not offering again for a long time. However this friends mum is lovely and keeps taking DS out so I feel like I have to keep reciprocating.

OP posts:
MollyRover · 19/08/2022 14:09

I have a wonderful friend who is an absolutely fantastic mother, honestly I wish I was half as good. She's so perceptive to what her children need and will drive up and down the country to competitions for their activities, makes sure they're well looked after, is always there for them, they have a great diet and if they're struggling at school/daycare she won't stop until they have the access to all support they require. I wish that she was my mum!

The kids are just total shits though, and appreciate nothing. Screaming, hitting, demanding, at home or at any of the multiple playdates or adventure parks they have memberships for. She seems to be the common denominator though, as I've heard that they're totally different children when she's not around. My heart breaks for her.

MintJulia · 19/08/2022 14:12

I've taken a few of my ds' friends out as a party on a regular basis. They are variously noisy, silly, greedy etc but generally good humoured. I can deal with all that.
The only one I refuse to have anything to do with now is a 13yo male who insists on peeing wherever he is. peeing against doors in the high street etc or in my garden 😫When I told him it was unacceptable he just shrugged and said he was doing what came naturally. Well, not when in my company 😡 Yukk! There are limits.

Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 14:16

MollyRover · 19/08/2022 14:09

I have a wonderful friend who is an absolutely fantastic mother, honestly I wish I was half as good. She's so perceptive to what her children need and will drive up and down the country to competitions for their activities, makes sure they're well looked after, is always there for them, they have a great diet and if they're struggling at school/daycare she won't stop until they have the access to all support they require. I wish that she was my mum!

The kids are just total shits though, and appreciate nothing. Screaming, hitting, demanding, at home or at any of the multiple playdates or adventure parks they have memberships for. She seems to be the common denominator though, as I've heard that they're totally different children when she's not around. My heart breaks for her.

That’s horrible! Do you think it’s a lack of boundaries? I have a similar lovely friend whose DD actively bullies her into giving her what she wants. DF is a great mum and always puts her kids first but she definitely gives in too easily. I think part of it is learned behaviour from how her DD has seen her now thankfully ex husband treating her. It actively upsets me to see her being walked over. DS commented once in an admiring way “You are the boss of your mum” which was very cringy.
Obviously my parenting is perfect though 😂.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shirty48 · 19/08/2022 14:18

MintJulia · 19/08/2022 14:12

I've taken a few of my ds' friends out as a party on a regular basis. They are variously noisy, silly, greedy etc but generally good humoured. I can deal with all that.
The only one I refuse to have anything to do with now is a 13yo male who insists on peeing wherever he is. peeing against doors in the high street etc or in my garden 😫When I told him it was unacceptable he just shrugged and said he was doing what came naturally. Well, not when in my company 😡 Yukk! There are limits.

That’s a reasonable red line - yuk 🤢. Yes I don’t enjoy them being really boisterous but it’s inevitable when you a few kids together but it’s the rudeness that really annoys me.

OP posts:
StClare101 · 19/08/2022 14:20

We’ve had to stop seeing one couple that we really like because their kids are so awful. The two older ones are bullies and so horrible to our kids that last time we saw them I lost my temper a bit and it was awkward. Now DH catches up with his friend sans wives and kids and it works better for everyone.

Its extraordinary how rude some kids are these days though, and I just quietly refuse to have kids over again who are like that. There’s enough nice kids around and I gently encourage those friendships!

IHeartPepsi · 19/08/2022 14:29

It's a mixed bag. Some of my sons friends are lovely, others are knobs. Generally it's two strikes and you're out for me.

I mean I might meet them in a park or something but they're not crossing the threshold of my house again!!

MollyRover · 19/08/2022 14:33

@Shirty48 I just don't know. Her DH is similarly lovely but is very hands off at parenting. Not because she doesn't let him, but she's a sahm so their roles are "traditional". The children absolutely bully her though, which is strange because she's in no way a pushover otherwise.

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 19/08/2022 14:48

Of my DDs friends, only 1 who was the rudest little bitch I've ever come across (yet her parents were lovely). Really struggled to remain calm with that one and luckily she's changed schools now.

Others though I've found to be fine, they generally go and do their own thing while I'm just nearby.

Beamur · 19/08/2022 15:14

Other people's kids are mostly hell.
Teens are much better though. I like all of DD's friends.

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