Battling with a personal internal conflict that I'm hoping gaining perspective from others may help with. Please know that this is not against anyone else but purely pressure I put upon myself that I'm trying to ease.
I have been brought up that a good job = a professional status and ££. I automatically went from school to college to uni expecting to then land that job because that was what was expected and as a child I never doubted that I would be successful and follow that path. However life didn't really turn out like that and I'm on my 4th attempt of trying different fields of work to find what I'm 'meant to do' which is even harder post children and fitting in childcare etc. at the moment I'm trying healthcare and on a band 3 post but the likelihood of getting any further is very rare as I'm unable to go back to uni etc or do long shifts so am limited with the 9-5. however I still have that feeling hanging over me that it's not quite enough and what I'm desperate to find is peace and acceptance that work doesn't define me. I know I keep getting low and lacking self esteem because of it and I don't want to keep putting such an emphasis on success or lack of. I suppose it's always the first question someone asks you - 'what do you do'and do perhaps I associate it with my identity. I find that I get low always being frustrated with myself that I never quite knew what to do or to aim towards, plus being frustrated that I can't contribute more to the family income. I wish I could be get over this and be content with what I've got.
Has anyone ever felt similar and got over that kind of pressure they put on themselves and managed to feel content in lower paid roles or just any general advice on making peace with what you have?
I'm sorry this probably all sounds petty!