Do you tell your DC you'll miss them when they're away?

[Gallant282]

Ds 13 is going away with his friends family for a week, its the longest he's been away from us.

I was just wondering if parents say you're going to miss them and ask them to ring or the 'love you, have a great time' approach is better.

My mums always done the latter and even now in her 80's she always says don't worry about ringing her where as DHs mum is heavy on saying she's going to miss us and asks us to ring to let us know we've arrived safely.

I say both - I'll miss you but I'm sure you'll have a great time.

My daughter would text me every now and then to let me know how she's getting on . If your son doesn't you can text him to ask what he's been doing after a couple of days.

I think it's nice to let them know that you're thinking about them when they're away.

My parents were just the same about the call to say you've arrived safe - as if any travel was fraught with danger!

DS has always been super anxious about being away from home. This is the first time he's not, he's just really excited so I don't want to plant any ideas in his head that we're missing him so he should miss us or to tell us that he's arrived safely implying that he might not.

I'm probably over thinking it! Just interested to see what others do. I think I was quite a nervous child which might be why my mum plays it cool whereas DH was always confident and outgoing which is maybe why MIL tried reign him in a bit and remind him to call.

I usually say something like “ have a brilliant time- we’ll be thinking about you”- trying to convey that of course they will be on our minds and we’ll be looking forward to their return but in a positive way that doesn’t make them worry that they’re doing something wrong by going away.

I over think it like you and I specifically didn't say I'd miss her but wished her a good time.
Instead of asking him to let you know he's arrived safely, ask him to send you a pic of his room, or the view from his room.

Brilliant, i like that, thats what I'll say.

That's great too!

Thank you for the great ideas.

If he's anxious definitely don't tell him you'll miss him or encourage him to contact you.

For most children homesickness only becomes a problem if they call home or get dropped off by a parent who's anxious/makes a fuss about missing them/drags out the goodbye like the child is being left to some terrible fate.

Kids are discouraged from calling home not because the adults are heartless but because it just upsets otherwise happily settled children to be worrying about the next call or hearing what family are doing without them etc etc.

A breezy "have a great time, excited to hear about your adventures when you get back, bye!" is so much better.

My dd2 who’s 16 has just gone away for a few days with DH. I told her I loved her and hoped she’d have a great time. I didn’t tell her I’d miss her because the Gods honest truth is that for a few days I actually won’t (or DH for that matter); I will enjoy the peace and quiet and the clean kitchen. I mean of course I will think about her, she’ll no doubt call me at least 3 x a day to ensure that I can’t not.

I say all those things. Have a great time, love you, will miss you, give me a text during the day when you can. X