To think being super organised is just part of one's personality and there's just no hope for people like me!

[OrganiseMyLife]

I was going to start a thread about asking for advice on how to help me become more organised at home..however I have read a few threads and a lot of the similar tips come up - make lists/ diary, phone reminders, meal plan, pick up things as you leave the room, cleaning plan etc

Tbh, it's all familiar to me but the fact of the matter is I just bloody can't do it. I hate cooking so don't want to think about meal planning, I can't wake up early as I get too tired, after work I have no energy to clean whatever it says to do for that day on the cleaning plan, I procrastinate, I do things last minute and so on.

Ive started out so many times with good intentions to get my shit together, but it all feels like such a huge effort which only lasts a few weeks at most and then I'm back to the familiar feeling of feeling overwhelmed again.

I.Just.Cant.Do.It.

It’s a good habit to track and accept where you are right now.

How your energy levels and fluctuate for you personally. Spend a week noting down the frequency, duration, timing and intensity of active times and exhausted times.

See if you can see a pattern.

Then look for realistic windows of opportunity - eg I know I have a spurt of energy for 20 mins in the morning - but by 4pm I am on a downward energy draining trajectory.

Decide that you will not waste or miss this opportunity - you can get a bit done in 20 mins. Start with self care - shower, wash your teeth, put on a wash on, prep a meal for later.

Then decide you are done for the day.

You might then find another 5 mins in the day - choose it to clean the toilet, wipe out the sink, empty the bin.

Have v low expectations.

Little and often.

It all adds up and is motivational when you look back on your morning or afternoon or evening. Add in resting and meditation as a task.

Keep a list of what you have done … these are called ALI lists - at least I.

Small incremental actions taken at the time when YOU know you have mental and physical capacity will be efficient.

Then be proud that you did little things and that you were kind and compassionate to yourself (don’t judge or compare to others)

Its a lifetime process.

Know your own pattern of energy and work with that.

Some peop

I find some people who have messy houses and disorganized lives blame the fact they are stressed or have some sort of MH issue but I'm sure I'd feel anxious and unhappy if I had to live like that.

I'm naturally quite disorganized but I find it so stressful not being able to find things that I've overcompensated and all my paperwork is organized perfectly. It makes me feel calm and happy.

I've got a filing cabinet and everything's filed away beautifully.

Can I ask why you don't think you have ADHD. I read your post and like other immediately thought ADHD.

The things that scream ADHD:

"I hate cooking so don't want to think about meal planning"

"I procrastinate"

"I do things last minute"

"Ive started out so many times with good intentions to get my shit together, but it all feels like such a huge effort which only lasts a few weeks at most and then I'm back to the familiar feeling of feeling overwhelmed again."

'I.Just.Cant.Do.It."

I hope you didn't just read something and thought you aren't hyperactive so can't have ADHD? You can have Inattentive type ADHD and therefore have no or minimal hyperactive/impulsive traits such as risk taking, constantly being on the go, fidgeting, overspending etc

People with Inattentive ADHD tend to have more problem getting themselves going at all. I spend a lot of time trying to get myself to to things, stuck on the sofa, stuck in the car etc etc. I have a huge problem STARTING tasks. And then another huge problem finishing them. I often and easily feel bored.

ADHD is an interest based disorder. Our brains can only get going in certain circumstances. Three things fire them up novelty, urgency and interest.

So new things can get us going ("which only lasts a few weeks at most and then I'm back to the familiar feeling of feeling overwhelmed again"), things that interest us (and can sometimes lead to hyperfocus; plus things often change - We can develop a deep interest in something for weeks and then go off it completely (usually just after we've bought all the kit 😬), if it doesn't interest us we can't bring ourselves to do it ( "I hate cooking so don't want to think about meal planning" ); and time pressure - the urgency seems to bring about that rush of dopamine we are lacking ("I procrastinate". "I do things last minute"). If there's no novelty, interest or urgency doing anything feels like pushing a boulder uphill.

This is the webpage I saw that was the lightbulb moment that made me realise I may have ADHD:

www.clinical-partners.co.uk/insights-and-news/adult-adhd-aspergers/item/adhd-in-women-why-is-it-so-undiagnosed

So you may not have ADHD but just wanted to check that you hadn't read misinformation about how it often presents in young boys and ruled it out before properly understanding it.

I'm very disorganised by nature and have been my whole life. There are some aspects of life where I need to be organised though so I have set spaces for important things eg kids vaccination records, tools, medicines, birth certs etc. There's plenty of "dumping ground" places all over the house but I make sure those important things have their set spaces and try not to put them in the dumping grounds. It has taken time but the displeasure I get at not being able to find eg the tape measure means that as it's got a specific place I'm quite likely to put it back there either when I'm done with it or when I spot I've left it lying around.

Technology can be really helpful. We have a shopping list set up on Google so when I notice something is running low I just ask Google to add it to the shopping list. I then pull up the list on my phone when I'm at the shops. DH also adds things to the list.

For cleaning I hire someone to do it but also use time/energy saving tools like a steam mop and cordless hoover.