Are you happy? And if so, how?

[HoulYourWhist]

I don't mean watching your kids frolicking through a field of sunflowers happy. I mean just simple happiness , contentment, that type of thing and how do I achieve this 'simple' state?

I'm married, with kids, approaching 50 and a sahm. Post natal depression robbed me of all my friendships and I've finally realised that day to day happiness is not something that is just going to come to me, I need to actively seek this pleasure out.

What simple things make you happy?

I don’t know about gratitude but I do know comparison is the thief of joy. Accepting what I have and what my life is, rather than always wanting something different or what others have makes being contented much easier.

Happiness is a strange thing. In theory I have everything I've always wanted - happily married, nice house, a baby I've longed for. But I still always seem to find something to feel down about. I am unfulfilled in my job and have had a significant bereavement in the past few years. Also suffer for anxiety so maybe these things are holding me back from true happiness. I compare myself a lot to others too and we all know comparison is the their of joy.

Logically I know I'm lucky and I should be grateful. But the actual feeling of happiness isn't always there.

I feel like my best days are the days when I've gone out and done things with my kids or seen friends or whatever. Staying home and doing nothing always makes me feel down. I do try and have a bit of reflection time (often on a Sunday evening when everyone is in bed) and it's at these times I tend to feel most content. But it's not a permanent feeling.

I think l am happy by nature. It's not tied to circumstances. I have had extremely stressful situations in my life but underneath l was still happy. I think it just comes from contentment and enjoying the little things. Saw watering flowers mentioned a few times. Watering and deadheading my garden is one of my favourite times.
Lucky to have had a very satisfying career which brought me great joy. Enjoy my immediate family and my own siblings and appreciate all the times together. There are stresses involved but happiness lies beneath

I was all of those things, generally very happy, content and felt a deep sense things were just 'good'.

Then my little boy died and now that has gone forever. I don't know much about life but I do know that is a state I will categorically never live in again.

So even if you attain it, there's no promise it will stay.

I’m naturally happy. I’m not sure there’s a formula, really. I’ve always been like this. I have the usual worries like money, weight, work, child, house. My DH is difficult, sometimes. My life isn’t perfect.

But, I’ve never had depression. Or any big trauma in life. I’ve had plenty of problems, and failures, but managed to resolve / live with them. I’m not an anxious person, and am quite outgoing. I just am happy.

MoonlightRake, I’m thinking of you... And your little boy.

The simple life and a peaceful mind makes me happy.

I struggle to be happy but I recognise the value of life and am glad to be alive even if I find the days very hard.

@MoonlightRake my deepest condolences to you x

Thank you all for your thoughts on this, some of the lists people have written have been truly wonderful.

Gratitude is coming through strong here, and I'll admit something I need to work on, thanks for the book suggestions, I will be getting those to read.

It's working on enjoying the little things again, depression sucks the joy out of so much but you all have rightly shown me that there is much to be thankful for.

Thank you

My family is healthy, I have the best husband by my side, everything is going in right direction. These things make me happy. Happiness is my cozy home, my cats, fresh coffee in the morning, my husband singing and being happy and content. I also appreciate food in my fridge, roof over my head and money in my bank account. Not using social media helps feeling happiness too.

@MoonlightRake thinking of you xx

@junebirthdaygirl

I think l am happy by nature. It's not tied to circumstances. I have had extremely stressful situations in my life but underneath l was still happy.

I totally agree with this! 😊