Tips on returning to work after maternity

[Greenbks]

Hello!

calling all mums (or dads) on their top tips on what they felt or wish they’d done prior to/ when they returned to work after maternity (or paternity) leave.

im due back on September and so far I have /am doing the following:
• am trying to organise the house as much as I can
• created and using a joint calendar with partner
• split household chores between myself and partner
• trying to organise presents for the next 3 months so that I am not running around last minute.
• created a food menu so I can have a quick look and pick the dishes to cook each week

Anything else you found helpful or wished you had done would be very welcome!

How to manage /balance home and work life tips are very welcome too!

I am due back in September and have not done any of those things yet! This is my second so know organisation will hugely help! Following for inspiration and a kick up the bum!

I'd say the most important is having an agreement on who takes the days off sick with them.

Good luck by the way 😊

Ha! @Italiandreams im am over thinker/planner so that is why I’ve done all those things.

how did you find going back the first time? Was the balance very difficult or did you find it just took time?

@Mustardbay thank you! The plan is to take turns Or just whoever has a lighter schedule for that day but definitely not falling to the one person to catch up on work /using their leave etc.

Hopefully that works!

I'm also going back in September and have done nothing to prepare except sort childcare 😆😆

How are you feeling about going back?

@Hidingawaytoday childcare is a very good start!

im excited but also sad to be away and not spending as much time with my daughter. I’m sure I’ll feel a lot more when I’m actually back at work but hoping this preparation can make the transition a tiny bit easier.

how about you?

I’ll be honest, I found it very hard. I knew it would be but don’t think I had though through all the issues. I’m a teacher and I don’t think I realised how much I did at home and how little time I now had to work at home. Organisation is the key though.
Are you going back full time or part time?

It was nice though to not always be mum and be myself a little bit again too though.

Thanks @Italiandreams thats very useful and I sympathise on the working at home bit. My friend is a teacher and has three kids and I have no idea where she finds the time- so I have a lot of respect for teachers!

I’ll be going back full time but doing compressed hours. So I have Mondays with my daughter. I’ve never done compressed hours so I am a little worried about those 4 days and doing long hours and not getting to see her some days but hopefully that extra day makes up for it.

will you be going back full time?

I’m going back part time this time, went back full time last time but found it so hard and don’t think I could make it work with two but that’s me. I have a friend that does compressed hours and she says it’s fine, full time pay but still an extra day with the little ones. You will be fine and it will become the new normal but I think change is always hard to start with. Give it a couple of months and you will find your rhythm.

Don't take on all the mental load. You don't need to organise your partner.

Split the chores, split the drops and picks, split the sick days, you do presents for your family, he does his. Don't fall into the trap of organising him too.

Start baby at childcare before you go back so you can have some you time. Get your hair, nails done, buy new work clothes, have a massage etc anything that makes you feel good.

Finally, expect to cry in the toilets at least once.

Get everything ready the night before! Clothes for you, clothes for DC, nursery bag packed, laptop etc all packed for work.

Meal plan for the week ahead and also have a bunch of easy quick teas - sometimes beans on toast is all you want and need!

Make sure you have ENOUGH of everything so you aren't washing socks/tights/vests etc during the week that then end up in a pile on a table because you cant be arsed to put them away,

If you are commuting on public transport, use that time to yourself wisely. Like scrolling Tik Tok.

Make sure you have some time on the weekend for yourself - I religiously have a bath, face mask, hair mask on a Sunday.

Agree a plan for sick days in advance. For us, DH would work in the morning and I would work in the afternoon as thats what suited our jobs. Sometimes I had to accept baby just wanted me and take the day off. Dont feel guilty about that.

A mix and match selection of weekday outfits that you don’t mind being ruined / stained . Simple basics such a leggings and tops in block colours so you can pick up any items in the morning and not have to search .
Have spare clothes , sun hat and sun cream to leave at nursery.
Also having a selection of gender neutral wrapping paper and birthday cards ready at home in case of last minute birthday party invites .
Good luck , it is hard but will be fine x

@Greenbks pretty much the same! I'm looking forward to using my brain again but will my little girl.

Also going back in Sept and going back full time so love this thread

My plan is to try be as organised the evening before as possible and really plan out the day with meals etc
This is my first child however so will see how it all goes!

Oh - DO NOT get dressed until you are ready to leave the house or you will get to work and realise youve been splatted with some kind of baby goo.

Don’t think the first week back is how it is always going to be. It can feel nightmarish until you establish a routine.

Keep a tooth brush, changing stuff and a change of clothes for your baby downstairs. Mine always used to choose the moment we were about to leave the house to (over) fill a nappy. The toothbrush is just so you don’t have to keep racing up and down the stairs with them after breakfast.

Expect to be tired. I found it a bit of a jump from tootling along at my own pace during maternity leave to suddenly racing around with my hair on fire trying to get to work on time, then trying to get to nursery on time.

It’s ok to pop to the shops before picking up the baby from nursery. Sometimes a twenty minute breather sauntering round the supermarket on your own is the only bit of peace you might get!

Enjoy being back at work - savour the moments when you can drink a hot cup of coffee, uninterrupted. Keep a spare jacket or top in the car, or at work. My off-spring would use me as a tissue as I handed them over at nursery and I didn’t like going to work with a big snot mark down my shoulder. Scarves are also useful for this.

I sort out the nursery bag at the start of the week with a week's worth of spare clothes (DD seems to go through about 3 outfits a day 🤔) so that i dont have to faff about washing stuff mid week. Instead i just grab the dirty stuff out each night and then do a big wash when its all ready on a Friday / weekend ready for the next week.

One thing that really helped me was when i went back to work, not one thing on my handover note had been dealt with whilst i was off. 🙄 It made me feel much more relaxed about stopping exactly on time and picking up the next day!!

You'll find you get a routine going. I've been back 3months and now we are in the swing of it, i love my days at work - using my brain, having a hot cup of tea, seeing colleagues. Plus DD has come on in leaps and bounds - i think being the littlest in the room gave her some peer pressure to get cracking on standing etc!

Cor, you are organised.

I've just gone back and other than sorting childcare I bought myself some new make up and a few tops for work.

What have I learnt from going back to work after two maternity leaves? same shit, different year.

This is spot on. I would also add:

Bags are always packed. So after you pick up DC from nursery if they need any clean clothes for their bag you put them in the minute you get home so nursery bag is always just ready to grab in the morning.

If you are ever planning on going back part time and have holiday to use up to tack onto the end of maternity leave to extend your time off tell work you want to go part time from your first day back then take your holiday days. Rough example:

Jane always worked full time before maternity leave and is returning to work on 1st September but wants to go part time to 3 days a week. She has accrued 15 days of holiday during maternity leave. Her maternity finishes and her first day back at work is 1st September but she takes the 15 days holiday immediately and gets an additional 3 weeks off, then returns part time 3 days a week after those 3 weeks of holiday.

OR

As above but Jane tells work she wants to start her part time hours from 1st September working 3 days a week but then take her 15 days accrued holiday then go back to the office. Jane gets 5 weeks off at the end of mat leave rather than 3. The money is the same in terms of number of days paid but it can be a good way of extending your time off (if it applies.)

Sorry, that holiday tip is a bit involved but it stung me after having DD1 and may help someone else.

Oh my god, these tips are INCREDIBLY helpful- thank you!!

Even if they don’t all apply to me, like the annual leave/ going part time, it is such a useful tip that I’m sure another person will find useful if that is their situation.

I think a lot of it now is simply starting and getting a routine in and like a lot of you amazing women said dont feel guilty, take it easy etc. I have no expectations of the first few weeks.
I am simply trying to organise myself as much as possible so if it is a stressful period I don’t have that additional stress.

Please do keep them coming, I know others will find these just as helpful as I have.

good luck to all the mummies going back to work! X

I work compressed hours tues-fri and really enjoy it but life is certainly a bit crazy. I went back last Sept.
Your organisation is great, agree with what others have said, sort nursery bags. I also lay out 4 outfits ready for nursery for the week on a Monday so I don't even have to think about that.
Agree with your meal plan, I try to batch cook so some nights we just need to have left overs and use them on nights we're both trying to finish work. My husband also works full time but across 5 days so he does more in the evenings while I'm finishing work which works well for us.

In terms of sickness, we also do what you suggest in terms of whose got the busier day etc. We both can work from home and flexible so have always been able to juggle childcare without needing to take a day off. It is a challenge but grateful we can. We've now got a ranking of meetings if DD is off sick, I.e. if one of us is interviewing or has a really important meeting, that takes priority over other meetings so we check our diaries and work out how we will manage.

It takes some juggling, but I'm glad I've done it. And give yourself some grace, it takes a while to get used to it.