How would you interpret these messages / situations ?

[Jets121]

Imagine you had a coffee / meet up with a potential new friend (non-romantic). Perhaps a school mum or someone with a shared hobby/interest who you don’t know well but would like to get to know.

How would you interpret the following alternative messages after your get-together (received in response to your own message saying nice to see you/thanks for the coffee etc):

1.) Nice to see you too, enjoyed that, give me a call if you fancy doing it again!

2.) thanks for the coffee, have a good week & catch you soon

I interpret things literally, so would take 1 at face value, that they had a good time & wanted to do it again. I personally wouldn’t send a message like 1 unless I actually meant it.

Whereas I would say 2 could easily be a polite brush-off.

Just wondered what others think? I’ve had a few type 1 situations but then been ghosted which has left me a bit confused!

Another one is I’ve asked someone to do something, & they’ve said “would love to but busy this weekend” . Again I take the “would love to” bit literally, whereas maybe they’re just being polite?

if I didn’t want to do something I would never say “would love to, but…” . I’d just say something like “thanks for asking, but I’m busy this weekend” IYSWIM ?

Feels like dating as a teenager again, over-analysing messages!

I would take both as polite, friendly responses and nothing more.

I’d take it they are happy for another meet but don’t want it to be full on every week -

So I’d leave it a couple of weeks and suggest another meet up.

Even a Hi, I’m going to try X this week fancy joining me?’

I agree with you, but I do tend to read into things a lot.

As you take things literally I’m assuming some form of Aspergers - my daughter is this and hs a tendency to jump right in and be full on (in everything she does) it can come across as needy and whilst she’s a lovely girl, a lot of people don’t like it and she’s the one who gets hurt. A lot.

I would take things slowly and message in a few weeks and keep it open - if they want to they will - if not move on - in fact move on any way and invite more people to things generally - you’ll always have someone to play with then.

@Threelittlelambs I don’t have Asperger’s although highly suspect there is autism in my family and I am possibly on the spectrum to some extent, although I lead a largely normal & happy life, am successful at work and in relationships.

I have just struggled a bit with non-romantic friendships, although I do have a few friends I struggle to make new ones despite being (in my opinion at least) nice, friendly, chatty and fun while also caring & reliable.

I admit I can get over-excited / over enthusiastic and so I am conscious to keep things in check. Whereas I see myself as chatty & friendly I realise others may see me as too “in your face” . I try to back off and give people space, but this doesn’t come naturally so I start over-analysing things & reading between the lines & questioning what is “normal”, hence this post!

I like interaction and can chat away on WhatsApp for ages, but realise that’s not for everyone.

The person I am referring to in my post I left it 3 weeks after the last meet up before I suggested another meet up so it’s hardly as though I have been harassing them with daily messages or anything. I also have no desire for weekly meet ups, but would quite like a friend I could meet up with roughly once a month or so, subject to what else is going on.

Sorry to hear your daughter struggles

Also, I don’t take everything literally, eg if someone signed off a message with “see you soon” I wouldn’t take that literally.

But if someone said “I enjoyed that let’s do it again” I would take that at face value.

If I got either of these messages from a potential new platonic friend I’d probably wait a week or so and then maybe send them a funny little link I’ve seen somewhere. So for example if they mentioned they like dogs and I see a funny dog thing on Instagram etc I’d forward it to them. I’m found this often gets a friendly reply and from that one of us will suggest another get together.
This works well for me.

Interesting @NewMoney1000000 - I don’t really like being forwarded memes etc (unless one of the few that are actually genuinely funny!) so I’d be more likely to forward an interesting article or a link to a local event I’d heard about that they would be interested in

I agree that 1 is keener than 2. Not sure I’d bother chasing 2.