Moved to new area and feel so lonely

[Itsonlymondaysendwine]

I feel utterly pathetic even writing this but maybe it help to get my feeling down in writing.

We (DH and DC 8 & 9) moved away from my large family and our friends 12 months ago. The reason was school and it was and still is the right decision. Their education comes first and they are finally settled and happy.

However, Im so unhappy. We living here years ago and I found it cliquey then. My DH plays golf and as a result has made some good mates he hangs out with regularly so he’s happy. But I feel as though I’ve arrived in mean girls town. The queen bees are like the social puppet masters and only they will decide who will or will not be invited to social things. I’ve never known anything like it. It’s been 12 months of me trying to find people I get on with but I don’t know where they are. I’ve started go question if it’s me. Am I trying to hard, or not enough? I’ve joined clubs and pushed myself to be sociable but I get nothing back.

I’m now just focusing on little family and work which I love but I’m finding I’m getting a bit depressed about it all. It’s so so lonely. How do I deal with this? DH says to give it time but I feel
like a fish out of water.

Maybe if you mention where you ate people might have some suggestions or of you don't feel comfortable with that, there are ' meet up' groups on Fb I think where you can meet others interested on making new friends.

I moved to a new town and it took me years to find friends. They were under my nose really but I never saw them...iyswim. I have enough friends now and feel very at home but the first few years I was so lonely

I’ve had a look but they seem to target new mums or a different generations but thanks for the suggestion.

It’s good to hear a positive story. I’ve moved around a lot and had to start over with friends many times but I’ve never had these issues.

Get a ddog op!! A great excuse to get out and about and start up conversations with random people!. Ime anyway!

We have 2! We go out 3 times a day with them but they’re old now and we haven’t really met anyone to say more than hello to on passing. Do people really meet others while walking DDogs? I mean, at least the DDogs are always there for me :)

DH suggested joining a sports club but I’m so badly coordinated. That said, I would love DH and I to go dancing if we can find a club. Some rockabilly or similar.

I have ddogs. Too many!! Our walks are guaranteed a chat along the way. Personally haven't really got time for friends as such but a bit of chat is nice!

Do you work? That is usually the best way to get to know people, although not if you WFH.