I’m struggling enormously with life circumstances, and left with very little motivation to do anything at all .
I make sure I shower, and put on clean clothes and I eat something every day . But I’m not cooking really, it’s always pizza or shop bought processed crap .
I’m struggling enormously to do the housework, cleaning, laundry, taking the rubbish out . I’m in shared accomodation so it’s fairly easy to spend all my time in my room with the curtains closed, isolating myself .
I’ve found myself really looking forward to bed time just so I can get a break, but then I don’t fall asleep until the back of half 3 in the morning .
When I do try to go out of my room I’m hit by crippling anxiety and fear and so it seems easier to stay put and not risk it .
I desperately need to do laundry today, I’m running out of clean clothes but I’ve got myself too scared to do it and don’t know what to do .
I’ve spoken to my GP who said I’ve got PTSD and depression, and has given me very strong anti depressants and propranolol, and offered diazepam too, but that combination makes me feel even more sluggish and ‘can’t be bothered’ .
I’m on four waiting lists for mental health help but because I’m not actively harming or suicidal it’s not seen as urgent .
On a bad day even having the light on hurts my eyes and I spend so long in bed that when I get up I feel ill.
I understand why k feel this way, but I’m so desperate to change it, all I want to do is p it a load of washing on but every time I get the door I’m hit with a fear that I might have a panic attack in the laundrette (which is literally 50 metres from my bedroom door if that even) .
I don’t know what to do anymore .