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Original poster

I'm never satisfied.

18 replies

Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 08:12

As above. I'm just never 100 PC happy. Always wondering what my life would be like if I did this or that. Always questioning my paths. Like sometimes want more kids. Other times I wish I'd stayed childfree.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/08/2022 08:19

Welcome to the human condition! As the song says;

"Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's"

(Baz Luhrmann - the Sunscreen Song)

KylieCharlene · 15/08/2022 08:21

I'm similar and tend to lurch from one thing to the next. For example I rarely stay in a job as even if I'm happy I feel I should be doing something else so I start applying elsewhere and stressing myself out. When I get a new job I then start feeling maybe I should be doing something else.
I'll also start projects that I think I'll enjoy then move on to the next thing.
I have few friends as I just don't feel committed and feel I'm on the look out for 'proper' friendships as I don't feel fulfilled by relationships I've made.
I look at my home that I once loved and now feel it's not what I want and lime I need something different.
It's tiring and I think it stems from my perfectionist nature and constant need for everything to be right. It causes terrible anxiety.

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 08:25

I don't tend to outwardly moan but internally im moaning alot. As a single parent most of the childcare falls to me and its hard work. I wonder if id met someone better or not had kids how life would be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 10:01

🙄

OP posts:
ReluctantCourier · 15/08/2022 10:30

I’m a bit like this but try to view it as a strength in the right circs. Means I’m always pushing myself to improve. Also I’m aware if I start beating myself up that I’m not ‘good rnough’ that it’s just that side of my personality in a less helpful context.

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 11:05

I just think whatever path i take ill be unhappy

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/08/2022 12:44

Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 11:05

I just think whatever path i take ill be unhappy

If you flipped that sentence it would equally be true "I just think whatever path I take I'll be happy."

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 13:51

Yeah it's not true for me. I've been like this since childhood

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/08/2022 14:01

That's sad. It's never too late to change though.

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 14:22

😫i spoke to a woman in work whose the same. I think it's the way we are. Thinkers maybe?

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 15/08/2022 14:53

I believe people who think are capable of being happy.

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 14:58

Of course people can think. I think we over think.

#hardworkonhere

OP posts:
LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 15/08/2022 15:16

It may be worth looking into mindfulness and going on a meditation course, and getting into a sport of some sort. I think enjoying what we have and being grateful for each moment is so important, rather than looking for the next thing big thing to do or buy.

SonSonSon · 15/08/2022 15:21

I’m the same.
Ive always been like this, hated school - when I go to college I’ll be happy (dropped out), when I can drive I’ll be happy, when I get a boyfriend I’ll be happy, when I have a baby I’ll be happy, when I’ll be a manager I’ll be happy, when I have more babies I’ll be happy, when I get married I’ll be happy, when I lose weight I’ll be happy… etc.
Never fully happy. On paper my life looks great.
Always wondering what’s next (another baby, another promotion, another qualification).
It makes me wonder why I can’t be grateful for what I’ve got, as I’ve got a lot! 3 beautiful children, a stable home, a hands on DH (not as happy in that dept but 3 young kids do tend to make it less of a priority). Just cannot change my mindset!

AmbushedByCake · 15/08/2022 15:25

Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 14:58

Of course people can think. I think we over think.

#hardworkonhere

You literally said thinkers, not over thinkers. Perhaps some of your persistent unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations of other people, or the harsh way you address strangers engaging you in a conversation you started. Maybe you don't come across as outwardly unpleasant in real life but you did in this email. In my experience unkind people are unhappy. Not sure which is cause and which is effect but maybe try bringing your own sunshine.

Original poster
Diamondinthesolesofhershoes · 15/08/2022 15:36

No I'm not unpleasant in the slightest. And I don't expect anything from anyone. I'm responsible for myself.

OP posts:
SusanPill · 20/08/2022 17:50

Read stoic books and Buddhist books. Be grateful for what you have. Have ambition etc but the path to misery is constant wanting. Obviously not applicable if you’re in dire straits etc.

SusanPill · 20/08/2022 17:51

Also full happiness isn’t really a thing, contentment maybe. I think that’s quite freeing. We didn’t really evolve to be totally happy really, we are the product of ancient humans that were always seeking etc

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