To ask you for your well wishes or prayers for my son

[Defeatedbylife]

My son has severe autism and severe learning disabilities, hes completely non verbal and unable to do much for himself, hes got very limited understanding and needs 2 to 1 care 24 hours a day really.
Hes a beautiful, loving,happy child and makes my heart burst with the love i feel for him,but also breaks it every day.
We went away for four much needed nights for the first time since he was born,he went to respite,he came back so thin and so sad(yes in 4 days,hes a good eater as well,so not an issue)respite said he was happy,fine,ate fine.He can't tell me how it was so i must trust these strangers.i feel i wouldn't leave him again until hes much older. I worry so much about him,its caused a nervous breakdown and a complete change of personality in me .i know worrying will do nothing.
I worry for his future, hes a big lad already, i stay fit eat healthy for him but its getting tough already lifting ,guiding caring for him,hes doubly incontinent too.
May i ask that anyone who wishes say a prayer for him or if non believing send him the universes good wishes!,ask he gains understanding and self care skills so i don't need to send him to the inevitable care home he'll end up in.im having a tough day today, im in my head.thank you for reading.

Wishes and prayers for you.
How old is your DS?

My DSis is in your situation.

Hes 12 now.im sorry must be hard for your sister too

💐

The love for your child spills out in every sentence that you write op, that will never ever change. You are lucky to feel such overwhelming love and devotion. What I am concerned about however, is you.

Please op, can you rethink your break in terms of the respite it gave you?

Otherwise you will feel such guilt and heart ache you may feel you can ever go away again until your gorgeous child is older.

If anything, to make it a healthier experience for you, I would suggest you look at respite regularly and at fixed intervals so you are not completely consumed by your caring role and responsibilities.

You are still a person with your own needs and you need that downtime for your own good.

The extreme reaction you felt by leaving your beautiful son, is there a way you can have help to positvely process this instead?

Having strong, healthy relationships with others and doing other things outside the dynamic with your son are important for both of you.

Good luck op, your beautiful son is a part of what makes you whole as a person but should not be the only part.

Thank you 😊

Sorry you're having a hard time. Perhaps he was upset and unsettled as he's unused to being without you? I sincerely hope he was treated well. Ive worked with respite staff and they have all been kind, decent people.
Sending you strength and good wishes

@Defeatedbylife our sons sound very similar though mines is now in his early 30’s.

From myself and my son I send you and your darling boy love and best wishes for some better times soon.

🙏

@Butterflywing you are right, i know how much we need to get some time away from caring.im refusing to even think he was mistreated in any way,thats a road my mind doesn't even need to visit. Thank you for your post

@NanaNelly thank you so very much,wishing you and your boy the very best ❤

@rumred yes i believe it must have been so confusing for him with new people and to think where i was makes me so sad,hes never said mum to me but knows im his person.

🙏💐

I’ll say a prayer for your Son, you really need to continue putting him in respite, cling onto the fact that he is in a safe environment, his needs are being met he is being cared for.You desperately need the break, you need to spend some time relaxing, just to enable you to recharge your batteries.He needs you fit and well and you can’t function on empty.

My son is very autistic too, I can relate to worrying about his future. I might eventually have no choice but to let others care for him at least some of the time. In a way, I'm glad that he isn’t high functioning and won't be left to fend for himself, struggling with life and socially ostracised (he doesn't give a flying fuck about fitting in 😄).

Your son is happy with life, that's important and as pp said you need to be a separate entity too.

Prayers offered.

I can't offer prayers, but lots of good wishes, hugs & strength.

I'm so sorry your son has such difficulties.

Was it this past 4 days? If it was, it might just be the heat. I've eaten virtually nothing and not lost a pound. My friend has eaten as usual and list half a stone. (There is no justice in the world!!). Stress, heat, weight are unfathomable. But hopefully it's nothing more than his body reacting to his confusion over you not being there.

I agree with others who have said YOU need as much respite as you can get. It won't hurt him & hopefully he'll be able to understand you might not be there for a few days, but you will come back!

lots of love
xx

Oh goodness, this is so sad 😞
I’ll certainly say a prayer for him but know this, he is so lucky to have you.
Good luck and best wishes to both you and your lovely boy 🙏🏼

🙏❤️

I read a chapter from the Book of Proverbs every day. I read this this morning and just remembered it when I read your post:

Proverbs 14
26 Those who fear the Lord are secure;
he will be a refuge for their children.

I'm praying that God will honour the trust you have put in Him for you son's health and safety.

Sending prayers from our family to yours. Remain hopeful and positive as god has a plan for your family. Although we may not see it, he is with us always. You are not alone. God does not give us more then we can handle and our precious babies were given to us as he believed we were more able then others. My ds is autistic, delayed speech that has started to improve over the years but he still struggles with communication and it has been such a struggle. I, too, have felt that change over the years as i have pushed myself to be everything he needs. We are there advocates in everything in life. Don’t pressure yourself for those 4 days, we all need a break but I would put in a complaint and a report regarding his weight and well being as other children are also staying there. You are a wonderful mother and don’t forget that!

🙏🏻

He sounds a wonderful boy. Praying for you both xxx

So many kind messages, every one has made this day more bearable, for that i thank all of you

❤