Bit of a long one; I don't want to drip feed. I have a uni friend whom I have known since I was 18. Let's call her M. We are both in our fifties. We also have a mutual close friend, let's call her P, who is older.
For as long as I have known her, M has been a shopaholic. She is exactly like Becky in the Shopaholic novels. She spends a lot on high fashion, shoes, make up and so on, to the point that her wardrobes are full of unworn stuff. The other thing that she spends on is travel. Her plans are always changing, so she keeps cancelling and rebooking flights. She only flies business class and eats in fine restaurants. She has a nomadic lifestyle between several countries.
She funds all this because she has a good job, and no DC or plans to have any. She does not own a home, and rents, which suits her fine. Almost zero savings. So far, so none of my business, because she never asks me for a loan or anything.
M has recently got married to B at the age of nearly 50. B is a consultant and his income is irrregular. B is also blue collar and very frugal , so I do not think they are compatible financially. M continues to spend as she always has done.
Our mutual friend P is very worried and thinks I should speak to her because M and I live in the same city ( when she is not travelling), and P is far away. She thinks M is out of control and B is not happy about it.
Whenever I have diplomatically suggested to M that she rein her spending, she has reacted defensively, exactly like Becky does in the novels. For instance, if I suggest she doesn't need a new suit because she is now full time WFH, she will bring up a conference she might be invited to and therefore she might need a suit etc etc.... If I suggest meeting in a cheaper cafe, she will argue that she might get food poisoning. etc etc. It gets so tedious that I have stopped saying anything. Sometimes she drags me along on her shopping trips and I get a physical pain in my stomach watching her blow 200 quid on makeup that she does not need, but any hints are ignored. I have quite a lot on my own plate to worry about.
Should I just mind my own business? I would intervene if she were an alcoholic or suffering domestic abuse, but I just feel like she is a grown woman and can sort herself out. P disagrees.