What can I expect now hes cut out drinking?

[hsko]

Partner had a drink driving conviction last week, four times over the limit at midday. He’s always relied on alcohol as a coping mechanism literally every night after work. He has now gone tee total and has daily checks at work. He is still irritable 8 months on. Is this usual? Will he always be looking for something else to fill that void? I thought he would feel better generally and become a sunnier and more relaxed person.

There was a reason he was drinking so that's still there..maybe worse as the drug is removed. He could be called a dry alcoholic as it sounds like he was forced off drink rather than call it himself. Has he had counselling? I think some people who go to AA learn a new way of living which makes them happier. I have some experience in my family and the person decided themselves after facing some serious consequences and also had a good bit of individual and group counselling. Pretty good now.

I agree with pp. He doesn’t want to be alcohol free, he’s been forced to give up.

Personally I was walking on air and feeling ridiculously pleased with myself for quitting alcohol even at 2/3/6 months. My anxiety & depression was reduced, I was looking after myself better in terms of exercise & diet, I was sleeping better and feeling a lot happier in myself.

An alcoholic relative who quit was told if he kept drinking it would kill him and he quit. He wasn’t forced to, it just gave him the shake up he needed. He was also happier for not drinking and his depression and grumpy outlook on life altered.

It sounds tough op. AA have support for family and friends of alcoholics, you may be able to get some support and advice from other relatives there.

@Oldhabitsarehardtobreak @junebirthdaygirl is it unusual then to be just as depressive after stopping? Would it be more usual to be brighter and bouncier and happier?

@hsko

Nope it’s miserable when you first quit - especially if you have been forced to.

The preoccupation with alcohol is so all consuming, the cravings can be so intense - it would be “normal” to be grumpy / moody / snappy etc.

Also if he was a heavy / long term drinker, it takes some time for the brain chemicals to re-stabilise.

@DoItAfraid how long could it take then, a year, more?

He'll need to address the cause of his drinking.

If that's never addressed, then he could be like this permanently.

@LaingsAcidTab the cause was stress. Whenever he’s stressed it was drink. Whenever he was relived it’s Friday, it was drink.

Maybe he’s simply still stressed and therefore even worse now as he has no outlet.

I’m confused about the timings, did he stop drinking last week or eight months ago?

@hsko no one can tell you how long it will take i am afraid.

He needs to address the underlying issues and learn new coping mechanisms for the stress, for his cravings and for any resentment about not being able to drink.

Is he having therapy? He should be.

Recovering alcoholic here. He's angry that he's been separated so unfairly from his old buddy alcohol. The reason people go to AA or get counseling for addiction is to learn how to live happy lives without drinking. He hasn't learned that yet.

The most important thing for you is to look after yourself. Don't let this take over your life.. He needs to take responsibility for himself. If l was you l would pop along to an Alanon meeting and you will get support there.
Has he not drank for 8 months or just one week due to conviction?