Emetophobia support!!!

[solania]

Just venting/panicking/begging for a handhold…

DS nursery had D&V bug going round, DH and I have a crazy busy weekend. DS has just woken vomiting and I just cannot cope with vom. Never have been able to. It's a true phobia and my worst fear.

DH has a wedding tomorrow and we are meant to be at a local festival with a stall, and I lead small groups that meet in the morning and…argh.

The thing I’m most scared of is looking after DS solo while DH takes the wedding. It can’t be avoided, but I’m so scared. Poor DS, he deserves better than a pathetic mother who loses it at vomit. Argh, poor baby. Poor me. Poor pathetic me. I’ve tried getting treatment for it but it’s never been effective. I am just useless.

How do I cope? In all other circs I’d "pull myself together" but this is the one situation where I can’t do that. it’s a horrible horrible phobia.

Handholds welcome.

Ahhh I can totally sympathise with you ❤️! I also have emetophobia and it’s horrible to have. My husband works shifts so I’m quite often on my own, I don’t know if it will help for next time but I created my own ‘sick kit’ and it does make me feel a lot better. I’ve got 3 buckets, anti bac spray, anti bac wipes, carpet cleaner, bags, fruit shoots as my toddler will not drink water if she’s sick and I know that will work as I’d worry about her loosing fluids, lucozade for myself for energy. It will sound crazy to some but I know that when it does happen I panic so I try and be as prepared as can be. For your situation now, take the pressure off for tomorrow, don’t even think about it, it’s just added pressure for you. Chances are your little one will be feeling a lot better tomorrow morn. If you don’t feel like going, that’s totally fine and if you do, that’s fine too. Take each hour, hour by hour and remember you are doing a great job, emetophobia is tough ❤️! X

Thank you so much. I’m so grateful for a reply that I’m actually crying a bit. It is so so hard and I hate that it makes me completely useless. Anything else, I’m the most hands on mum and nurse. Blood, snot, mucus, tears, even nasty nappies I can handle, but the sick… my heart rate is ridiculous right now. And the worst is feeling like I’m failing my boy.

I'll hand hold too.

Fellow emetiohobe here.

DS brought a bug home a couple of months back. Him on the Thursday, DH on the Sunday and DS1 on the Monday. DS1 is 9 and until then had never been sick. I felt like the worst mum y the world not being able to take care of him because of my fear.

Be kind to yourself and know that it's not a choice to be like you are, it's a crippling fear - no different to asking someone with a fear of heights to jump out of a plane.

Is there anyone that can come help you - mum/MIL/friend??

You’re absolutely not failing him. You sound like an amazing Mum 💐
We all have things that we find really hard. We’re not super human!
Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just take one step at a time.
How is the little one doing now?

Another emetophobe here!

I completely understand how you feel and you are not unreasonable. The fear can be crippling and it’s absolutely awful.

Do you have a friend/mum/MIL who could help you out?

I have one tip but it’s quite an expensive tip! I cannot cope with seeing sick whatsoever and the thought of seeing it in a sick bowl makes me gag so that’s why I get my children to be sick on a towel, and then I bin the towel. I buy cheap ones especially for this, preferably black so you can’t visibly see it. It certainly helps me and makes me feel better.

Hang in there, you can do it.

I used to suffer from this but it's largely gone from having 3 babies who were did little sicks all the time. I think in the end I just got used to it. It still bothers me but not half as much as it used to so there is hope. I think frequent exposure to it sorts it out. My children have no idea either of how I feel/felt

Thank you ladies. I know there’s loads of us out there but I really appreciate you reaching out.

Poor DH is having to care for DS and for me as well!

I’ve cancelled one of my groups, but need to attend the other. Then DH and I will switch so he can do the wedding. My family (quite reasonably!) don’t want to help with illnesses but my dad has offered to be on standby for tomorrow afternoon, so that’s a slight lift of the burden. I am so worried about DH being out, though. Poor man!

DS is now very whiny about wanting sth to eat and he's very hungry. DH is about to head out to take the wedding so I will be alone to deal with any fallout! I know the NHS advice is to eat when you feel like you can, but does anyone have any emetophobe tips about reintroducing food?

Sorry I’m late to this; hope you are doing ok and your son is doing better too. I encouraged my little one to drink small sips at a time and gave her crackers / small bits of dry toast till everything had stopped. Once it had been a few hours of nothing else happening I gave her a little bit more but kept everything quite simple plain, keeping fluids up is important but I did start with small and often x

Thanks @Mimiandme! Fortunately DS was actually ok after the one episode, so I wasn’t that badly tested this time.

Ahhh, I’m glad it all went ok ❤️. Well done❤️! X

Ask for CBT love, this kind of thing can be fixed x

Glad it worked out, was going to say that in my experience the vomiting bit is all over within 12 hours so your husband could have dealt with that before doing the wedding. However for future reference (three grown up boys who were very rarely sick) if someone else is there to deal with it I generally panicked but if alone with your child you do automatically get on with it (whilst internally gagging and trying not to breath🤢😷). It's almost like mother instinct overrides it🤷

My daughter is emetaphobic. She was terrible growing up but pretty much has it under control now (mid teens). Things that have helped her include mentally planning for all eventualities. It's the lack of control that causes the stress so by pre planning every possible scenario she feels more prepared. Have you heard of 'Thrive'? Their workbook also really helped. I know this is really difficult for you... but I also know that you can do it! For you DC 💪🏼

I’ve tried CBT, no luck 😞 I'm going to have a go with Thrive as a PP mentioned but really I want to try EMDR as I think (from discussions with psychologists) that it really might help. Thanks everyone 😊

So far my DS has had bugs that involved randomly vomiting for about 5 days in total 🤦‍♀️ so I was kind of worried that it would be one of those!! But fortunately this time it wasn’t

I have made many of posts like this on here over the years. I have a life long sickness phobia and despite all my efforts, cbt, counciling... I haven't got a head of it!
You're not alone and you're not a bad mother. Everyone has things they can't deal with.
I really hope you find a way of getting through this easier and if you do please do share! I'm already frightened for school restarting and the bugs spreading :(