I've got two pieces of bad news to tell a friend - first that I can't come to her birthday, she lives 3.5 hours away but I can't get the time off work. I work weekends. Requested it off, didn't get it, have asked everyone to swap with me with no joy. It's a "big" birthday. I plan to ask her if she'd like to do something else together to celebrate like a spa weekend. Second is we talked about going to live abroad together and I've decided it's not the right time for me. I suffer badly from anxiety, low confidence and self esteem and avoidance and I have been stressing over this for weeks, affecting my sleep my mood everything. She is my oldest friend and the only friend I have from childhood and she means the world to me. Do I tell her both things at the same time? Do I send her a WhatsApp message? Help please, I'm so worried about telling her both of these things.