Managing the fragile male ego…

[BarrelOfOtters2]

I love him, he’s kind and good.

But dear God, having to manage the fragile male ego. It’s exhausting at times.

Then don't?

I'm sorry Otters. That sounds exhausting.

What would happen if you just... didn't?

I could never be with someone I had to ‘manage’ in any way. I prefer grown up men.

You stole my post 🤣

Seriously - why do you do this?

But you do don’t you? Oh dear that deal didn’t come off. Yes that bike ride was brilliant….it’s like having a 5 year old s9metimes.

I find some of the fragile female egos on here pretty tiresome.

There are literally threads like
"Colleague looks at me funny! AIBU to be furious about it?" and
"He didn't read my mind, why didn't he read my mind?!" and
"I chose that baby name first. How dare they use MY name!?" and
"I asked him if I looked fat & he said maybe. Shall I LTB?" and
"He said a random lady had nice boobs. This devastated me, how could he be so insensitive! He knows I'm so insecure about my breasts."
etc

No. We obviously don’t.

My husband is a cyclist too. He gets, “good ride love?” and some chat about what cake he stopped for.
Occasionally he’s done something he’s proud of - and I’m proud of him too. His first 100 mile, or a Strava challenge, or a hard MTB event. Then I congratulate him with genuine emotion, not because he has a delicate ego but because I love him.

If a work deal didn’t come off, sure I’d commiserate.

None of that is pandering to ego.

Honestly? No. I don't. And I'm not sure I would be able to.

Sounds like you’re just bored with him now.
I’m going to guess you’re mid 50s, grown up kids, marriage 25 years-ish. And have run out of interest.

Pandering isn't an obligation. Do you feel that it is OP?

The idea of an adult male partner where the dynamic crosses even slightly into that where it is akin to having 'another child', who presumably therefore sees me as some sort of partial mother responsible for their happiness and basic needs makes me feel incredibly unwell and I'd find it tiresome and unattractive, I've no doubt is in practice actually incredibly mentally exhausting. Yet another unpaid role in supporting men to ensure all their needs are met and that they are constantly impressed enough with us.

I'd give it some thought and stop. You can be respectful, polite and enjoy one another's company/celebrate each others success/provide meaningful emotional support without these contrived archaic and derogatory dynamics playing a part. Probably difficult to change it when the relationship was formed with it in situ and there's an expectation of it, but there is more to life.

Nope. Never done this. Who are these child men?! It’s so depressing 😱