Why do we always want more?

[Flowerhorn]

I've been really trying to cut down on buying stuff partly to save money and partly for the good of the environment. I am trying to make do with what I have and trying to only buy what I need. So buying clothes when a t shirt wears out rather than because I like something.

But I didn't realise before how much I like buying stuff. I mean I probably have 20 or more pairs of earrings but I find myself browsing for more. So why do I want more? Is it just me or do others feel like this? Has anyone cured themselves of wanting more?

I think it's because shopping is now a leisure activity - I would like to break my habit too.

Ahhh, I love earrings...

I think the desire for more (of everything) is basic and primal. I mean going back 1000s of years it would have been like an in-built mechanism to keep us alive, i.e. the need to ensure 'resources' such as sticks to light a fire, animal skin to keep us warm. Maybe this persists in us to this day?

Yes, this. You get a dopamine hit from buying things just as your ancestors did when they successfully hunted a boar or found a nut tree.

I think the best thing is to try to redirect one’s acquisitive nature towards other things eg skills or experiences, not consumer goods. But I fear the acquisitiveness is hard-wired.

I'm the same with lipsticks. All a similar shade and probably if I never buy another my stash won't be used by the time I die.

And books. That I mainly never read.

@OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss I don't usually wear earrings so I get where you're coming from with the books.

@GoodVibesHere I suppose it's likely that.

@MaggieDragon I am trying to do this more. My kids are privileged with regards the stuff they have. But I know that the time we spend having fun together is worth way more than the stuff I've bought them.

Sort of.
I have definitely moved on in as much as I no longer buy new items - of anything bar knickers, socks, personal products such as eyeliner and the odd piece of mandatory branded school uniform. I literally buy everything second hand on eBay or similar as I feel really clear that I can't keep on taking and extracting anymore.
It's great; home furnishings, technology, clothing, beauty products, tableware, paint and decorating products, white goods, gardening equipment, sports equipment, jewellery, power tools, kitchen utensils, you name it, I buy it pre-loved.
Massive weight off my shoulders.
Food is an inevitable buy-new product, as is medication when necessary, and some laundry and cleaning products, but there is a degree of choice surrounding sustainability.
What made this a fairly easy transition was two-fold: a life-long love of nature and becoming a parent. Realising that elsewhere on the planet, another mother's child will have less because I think I, or my own DC, should have more.
The thought of buying new now, when I know there is something just as good available second hand, seems totally self-indulgent and weird. I've kept this up for a decade so definitely doable and nobody goes without or looks as if I weave my own lentils.
We're at a time when de-growth is key to sustainability, and it is quite an easy fix to make on an individual basis.
The tricky part is the bit where we use serial and gratuitous acquisition to "fill" empty places in our human experience. Lots of self-love and empathy needed to redirect that impulse. Best of luck de-growing, OP!

MaggieDragon, cross-posted with you -we've expressed ourselves so similarly, high five!

I'm trying hard to cut down. I have some lovely bits which I treasure but I don't need anymore on top. Making an effort to buy pre loved.

I asked DM not to buy me much for Xmas. I asked for a nice bottle of gin, chocolates to give her something to buy but i know she will ignore me unfortunately.

I think marketing and shops themselves make it very difficult to not want to buy more stuff!

I’ve reigned myself in on buying all sorts but I can’t pass a fabric shop without buying the odd metre or two and sometimes three for my stash. And more often I just go and stare at the pile and smile a lot, it’s very cheering. 🤣

I think your post was much better than mine. I found your expression of how we use acquisition to fill empty spaces in our human experience very moving.

Yup, all cleverly engineered to make us want more. We’ve all got straight jeans so what do they bring out..wide legged jeans! When we’ve all got those it will be back to flares.
I always thought if I lived like my granny, one suit, one lightbulb, I’d be rich!

That was to @EveSix

This has all reminded me of the poem Small Kindnesses and in particular the lines

“We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire”

www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/09/19/magazine/poem-small-kindnesses.amp.html

I try not to buy what I consider 'plastic crap' - throwaway toys, trinkets, decorations like for halloween or christmas, there is such focus on buying and getting stuff and it's all so unnecessary!

It’s an interesting question op and one we would all do well to consider.
I actually know two people who don’t want ‘things’ or even new experiences, they literally use stuff until it falls apart. The thing is they are the happiest and most contented people I know. The seem to get an immense amount of pleasure out of watching the birds or a hug from a friend.
I am trying to channel their inner zen.

I do this with pyjamas 🤦🏻‍♀️. Before that it was something else. It's terrible. I've got ones I've never even worn. Don't know why I do it but it's quite embarrassing

For me it's boredom pure and simple. It's so easy nowadays to just order shite online.
Also if I see something I like and I can afford it, I buy it. I'm absolutely rubbish at saving money.

Sorry - it's as basic as that for me!

I definitely think boredom plays a part but I think it's more than that. I was on holiday in a seaside town and the kids wanted to go crabbing while I wanted to have a browse of the shops. In the end DH took them crabbing and I had a quick browse before meeting up with them.

I realised as I was looking at jewellery that I was being silly. I didn't need anything. None of the shops were selling anything I hadn't seen before in some guise or another.

@MaraScottie yep I'm trying with this sort of stuff but it's hard as the kids want it. But they're also the ones telling me that the polar bears are going extinct because of my use of plastic.

@EveSix I think I need to work towards this sort of mentality. I've bought a fair bit of furniture second hand and the quality and price are amazing. The wardrobe i have now is beautiful and I've no doubt will last me the rest of my life it's such good quality. Brand new it would have been out of my price range.
I would never have thought about all the other things on your list to even get secondhand. I clearly need to try harder. I definitely think we do plug gaps with stuff and I'm really trying to stop.

This is such an interesting question! And thoughtful answers. MN at its best.