I had an abusive upbringing and posted on the stately home thread and on here as I decompressed my abusive childhood then led to abusive relationships and marriage and divorce.
It was through mumsnet I saw it for what it was - I had relocated hundreds of miles with my two children back into the lions den. The lions soon reverted to form but I stood up to them and well the lions of my parents went off the deep end and were beyond vile. Then they stopped talking to us and I went to specialist counselling.
I couldn’t believe it as I had to go to court to move it cost me thousands, I sold my house, moved the children schools and then they stopped talking to me. And then have refused ever since. It was my parents who were physically violent to me and verbally - not the other way around.
I’m in my 40s and have always gone on holiday with them and to their house abroad and never been allowed a key whilst staying with them or to drive as they controlled it all.
I was terrified but I booked a holiday in the U.K. for me and the children - alone. We took the dogs. I rented someone on the local FB page about 3 hours from where we live. In the middle of nowhere but kind of not as it was in the grounds of a large Manor House. No WiFi. But electricity and running water and compostable toilet.
We took board games and books and I thought if it is shit we will drive home. But it wasn’t - it was bloody magic. Curled up in a huge bed with fairy lights and cooking on a calor stove.
In my real life I’m a highly professional woman with numerous degrees and who does a seriously stressful job with total love and support from colleagues, but in 40 years the children in me that my parents laugh at was terrified of everything. I run a lovely home but feel like a huge imposter.
Right now I feel I’ve overcome a huge milestone. A week away walking up mountains and down caves and cards and ludo and s’mores each night. It was magic and it felt like the real me has been found.
Im going to continue to find the real me but many thanks to those on here that have helped with that journey.