8 year old outgrown toys :(

[NoMoreToys]

As title says really.

8 year old DD refuses to play with toys at all, they have age appropriate things and things they’ve asked for like Lego, barbie dolls/lol dolls etc. But she just will not play.

I’ve taken away the tablet, switch and TV but she just sits. She won’t even do any badges for Brownies because “I’m just not into it anymore” I think she’ll like give it up in September when she goes back even though she loves the actual meetings – she does enjoy the craft when I make her do them but then it’s me nagging her to do it and just feels like it’s not worth the effort for me, she rushes through it in a few seconds and then gets annoyed when they tell her she needs to put more effort it.

This holiday has been the worst in terms of entertaining her, she hates holiday club all of a sudden, so moans about that, and when at home I get told she’s bored approximately every 9 seconds, when I tell her she’s got toys to play with she says they’re boring. I took her to Smyths toy store to choose something new to see if that helped and we came out empty handed, she said everything was too babyish.

She happily does chores but it’s just the two of us at home, so once it’s hoovered, the beds are made and the washing ups done there’s still 6-8 hours a day to fill.

She just seems so little to have outgrown toys, I’m sure I still played with toys (without telling my friends) until I was 12 or 13.

She wants me to take her out all the time, but the park is boring. She wants to do the cinema or zoo or similar everyday which are all a drive away and I also have to work.

She’s an only child so that probably adds to it as there isn’t anyone else to play with. She’s also not into makeup or doing nails or bathbombs or similar really (seems a bit young for those yet anyway).

So what can I do? Is it just tablets or consoles now until she’s a bit older?

I just want an hour of quiet everyday she’s home to catch up on emails or finish off a few bits of admin for work which she has been more than capable of since she was about 6.

Even lockdowns where easier than this as she’d play to get out of doing schoolwork.

I also agree with taking a bit of time to look at how you entertain yourself as she will be taking a lot of cues from you. Is cleaning your main activity at home besides work for example? In which case she has heard this message loud and clear and is only interested in that. I am not saying this in judgement, by the way. Also what are your attitudes to other people, friends, your ex and activities like guides, holiday clubs etc, as if you give a hint of judgement towards them, she will too as it sounds like she is blocking a lot of activity and she is quite young to be quite so uninterested in the world.

What about a hobby? Some sort of craft - crochet, sewing, knitting, making 3d models. Drawing.

Take her to library or book store. Crosswords, logic puzzles. Musical instrument she can practice. Random challenges (eg make the tallest tower you can out of Lego or spaghetti and blu tac).

Ours get a chore to do if they say they are bored. The mostly remember they are better off entertaining themselves now, otherwise they get a job to do and we get to tick one off (win!)

How about reading? A really good book series will keep her going for weeks!

So she is happy with tablet, zoo, cinema

Has she been spoilt?

Are there issues about your exH?

Does she not have any friends she can play with? At that age I was out every day in the holidays with my friends, didn't play with toys or any electronics!

Read a book?

Completely agree - let her be bored. People need to learn how to be bored. Boredom teaches our minds to rest and breeds creativity and problem-solving skills.

Leave her to it.

I echo a op who wound be a bit worried l. She doesn't seem to have any motivation. Does she have a best friend you could ask over. Although that wound be awkward if she refused to play. Maybe find a club that does trips. How long did you send her for? Maybe after a day or 2 she'd get bored of just sitting on the side and eventually join in. Is she happy and having fun when you do take her to the zoo etc or is she sullen there too? I don't think you're wrong to take devices away. Sounds like a bit of tech detox is needed. Dc can get quite addicted and she's probably holding out for it

When she asks you to help with the baking why is that a problem? I think she wants some attention and some company. Why don't you take her to the park and push her non the swings and make up a game with her? She's only 8, surely you can't expect her to entertain herself alone all summer?

Things I do with my 9 y/o : Baking, craft, go to the park, go on bike rides, go swimming, go to the beach, take her scooter out, watch a movie together, paint our toe nails, cook dinner together, have a friend over, play with barbies / lego /marbles etc, go clothes shopping, find a you tube art tutorial and have a go together. I think the key is she might need some help being less bored.

She is spoilt by my ex sadly, he does more activities and "fun" things rather than having her in the house but he only sees her 4 days a month so I do get it.

I like the idea of some challenges people have said here, she is much better being guided and spoon fed ideas I think, so I think some of the challenges here will be good. I could also work some Interest Badge work into those challenges so she gets an "achievement" for doing them - I just remembered we don't have to do them in order so we could do the fun bits now and then other bits when she does that theme at Brownies.

I don't work with her at home, she goes to holiday club then, but it's just like I get an email and need to reply to it, or there's 30 minutes or an hours worth of work I need to catch up on, especially in the holidays when I cut my hours due to childcare costs and I expect her to do something like sit quietly on her tablet, but then thats all she wants.

She's in holiday club 2 or 3 days per week, and she got to choose which days knowing the activities they'd be doing. They don't always do the same thing; some days it's Forest School other days they go swimming or do team sports. They went to a climbing wall last week which is usually one of DDs favourite activities but she refused to take part, she just sat at the side. Her friends from Brownies and school are there - no-one from her Brownies is in her class so she's got a good mix of friends there.

She did show some interest in some of the toys in Smyths so I might take her again when i get a moment, and question whether it gives her ideas. She seemed to really love the smaller figures and the sylvanian families - she does have sets of these but I wonder if she can't find them as she has so many toys.

We do go out to the park or for a walk everyday, will see what time the library locally is open I think it's only open 3 days a week.

We do have a couple of playdates planned but I don't like entertaining two or three kids in the house so I take them out which also doesn't help her perceptive of everything being fun.

Thank you everyone for the ideas though, will update towards end of the holidays.

On that case, I think setting her up to do an activity whilst you just catch up on work emails an hour would work

If you set up a small easel, paint by number style thing at the same table, and you work on laptop at the other end with a bit of music on. She would probably happily paint for an hour as isn’t just in room alone.

for tv, you can always just make a rule saying tv only after 4pm or whatever suits you, so she doesn’t keep asking all
morning.

Books. Get her to a library so she can learn to immerse herself in different worlds.

I find my schedule don't play when there is too many toys. Sit with her and have a huge clear out. You could even list and sell some things to go towards spending money on trips. Leave a few bits like the sylvanian families and she might be more likely to pick them up

Schedule should have been DC. Autocorrect is going wild today 😆

Just let her have screen time while you
need to work.

Keep on incorporating her help on housework, food shop etc maybe even some light DIY.

Board games for time together. Teach her some card games.

Dump a box of art supplies on the kitchen table she may dip in - just paper, pens, a watercolour set, some modelling dough (all can be bought from B&M /the Works for cheap).

Invite a friend of hers around.

Have you tried audiobooks? I get them on a library app then play them on speaker for DD. She draws or colours while listening.

Also writing out a schedule together for the day helps us a lot. You can block out certain times when you're working and she has something pre-decided to do. It's much easier than trying to think up things on the fly.

Maybe she wants to do things with you rather than on her own? Crafts (maybe visit a pottery activity place?) cooking? Visit some places with a special interest for her?

My ds is 7 and obsessed with switch and u tube. He had it a bit each day (like 2 hours( but he also does jigsaws, Maths puzzles , games or reads. Not fussed for toys . We also got out every day - walk, park etc.