My ex ended things with me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. The plan was for me to buy somewhere new (he has his own place so didnt buy together) near my family, so it would be bigger than my current two bed terrace and nearer to family for general familiarity and support. I was confident about this with ex involved as he was going to pay a little towards mortgage (he has his own place to pay for) and just generally felt the move somewhere more remote as opposed to current Birmingham suburbs was quite exciting.
Anyway since the break up my family have been even more keen for me to move. Ex has made it clear he won’t be seeing time at all or the baby presumably and when I raised maintence he ignored it! He’s a very career obsessed high earner but I don’t want to factor that into my own finances as at the moment i can’t even face the idea of having to fight for it.
I keep having second thoughts about the move.
- the mortgage will be 300 a month higher but is a proper detached house with drive so obviously a generally nicer place with more space
- I get on with family but sometimes wonder if emotionally I would be better getting on with it further away where I am now, given I am still very much broken by the break up
- will I cut my chances of a new relationship by going from a suburb to rural
- I will be spending nearly all my savings to move so will only have a 12k buffer instead of 50k now (though that money was gifted for the purpose of a house not to live off).
- family say I could always rent out if I want to move again and now I secured a rate of 2.6 it’s now or probably in a good few years time… this is a key factor too and it’s fixed for 10 years. I will lose the rate if I start again with a new house at this point.
i love where I live but it’s essentially a small terrace. I never imagined moving into a detached house alone and I suppose there’s some shame in that too. I wanted to do that with someone, I’m 35 and really had thought my ex was the right one.
what would you do?