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Original poster

Parents of children with Autism

39 replies

SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:12

Hi all

I wish to reach out to any parent who has a child with Autism regarding some concerns I have about my 9yo daughter.

I have spent loads of time on google but I feel like creating this thread might be more supportive as I’m feeling quite down about it all.

I’ll go ahead and list my concerns and would love to hear if any of your children displayed these symptoms? Or what were your first indicators that something wasn’t right?

My daughter:
walks on her tippy toes
highly emotional
can be disoriented
coordination issues - holding things
clumsy - always dropping things
distressed by loud noises such as music at restaurants
doesn’t like soft play as too many children
issues with food such as getting messy
breaks food into little pieces before eating
makes noises such as gagging or squealing randomly

OP posts:
SafeHeaven · 09/08/2022 23:14

They’re all signs of Autism

WithOneLook · 09/08/2022 23:15

I wouldnt like to say its not Autism but several of those symptoms scream dyspraxia to me (which can sometimes present alongside ASD)

Original poster
SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:15

Yes I thought that too

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Families
smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 09/08/2022 23:19

I also thought dyspraxia which is often associated with Autism. My son is diagnosed Autistic, dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder (amongst other things) and displays quite a few of those behaviours.

ofwarren · 09/08/2022 23:19

I'd be getting her checked

Original poster
SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:19

Anyone else? Could do with some support right now. Just worried about her future as I can already see so many difficulties presenting themselves compared to other kids her age.

OP posts:
Original poster
SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:20

@ofwarren i intend to

OP posts:
ParanoidGynodroid · 09/08/2022 23:20

I'll post more fully later as I'm on holiday, but I have an autistic DD, diagnosed at age 6 and now 16.

Her "symptoms" were, and are, quite different to your DDs, but autism is such a varied thing and difficult to pin down; it varies from person to person. Certainly, your DD has some unusual behaviours and the suggestion of some OCD which is a common comorbidity with autism, but the clumsiness and random noises sound more like dyspraxia and Tourettes respectively... to me at any rate.

I hope someone with a broader knowledge will be along soon to advise you, OP.

Original poster
SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:20

@smilingthroughgrittedteeth does it gets better?

OP posts:
Original poster
SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:21

@ParanoidGynodroid thank you and hope you enjoy your holiday

OP posts:
ParanoidGynodroid · 09/08/2022 23:25

I meant to add that walking on tiptoes is very much an autism thing...
Have you spoken to your GP about an assessment? What does her school think?

queenjaneappro · 09/08/2022 23:28

My daughter (9 next week) is autistic with a PDA profile. Very emotional and can switch moods in an instant.
Does well at school - she 'masks' which causes anxiety to build throughout the day and we get really explosive behaviour at home. As she is getting older though it's harder for her to mask and we are having lots of friendship issues. She says she has no friends, no one likes her -really difficult.

She also has significant sensory issues - so things like brushing teeth, hair can lead to meltdown. Also socks, shoes are the absolute bane of our lives. Same with cover on bed at night- has to be 'just so' or meltdown.

queenjaneappro · 09/08/2022 23:31

Meant to add - my daughter absolute loves getting messy. To me this is sensory though and you can be sensory seeking or sensory avoidant or both!

Cynderella · 09/08/2022 23:32

Definitely signs of dyspraxia, but I'm sure tiptoe walking is associated with autism. Highly emotional and not comfortable with loud sounds make me think autism. I teach autistic children and they all present differently - girls tend to present differently from boys too.

When you say, does it get better, well, yes and no. Would definitely make an informed choice about which secondary school - it's a tricky time for all kids, but more so for autistic children.

giggly · 09/08/2022 23:32

So you mean does autism get better or the behaviours? Rather than google please search Scottish autism or the English/Welsh/Irish equivalent, do not go down the rabbit hole of Dr google. Agree with other s about dyspraxia however what are school picking up on at this age? Would be highly unlikely for any of these behaviours if autistic in origin not to be noticed in school as well.
first port of call would be your GP or health visitor or school nurse depending on where you are.
Autistic children are a wonderful group of kids with many talents who for many can thrive the same as other kids. It’s not something to overly worry about unnecessarily .
alao what is your family history of NDD conditions?

5zeds · 09/08/2022 23:37

Doesn’t sound particularly autistic to me though obviously lots of those things are seen in nd conditions (of which there are many that ARE NOT autism despite what you read).

Hoardasurass · 09/08/2022 23:38

She certainly sounds like she has some ASD traits. There are some very good tests for ASD in girls online that might give you a better idea but you need to specifically say in girls in your search as most tests and info is about ASD in boys/men who generally present differently to girls/women. It's also the least funded/researched area of autism, 30 years ago Dr's didn't even believe that females can have ASD (apparently we all just had BPD instead)😱🤬 so it will probably be much harder to get a diagnosis for her so you will really need to push very hard (much harder than with a boy) aa she will most likely be masking at school (very common in girls)
I don't want to be a dome sayer but am speaking from personal experience as I have ASD and both my ds and dd have ASD. Ds was diagnosed by age 6, dd age 20 me age 38ish initially diagnosed and ruled out at 13 because girls can't have ASD so must be BPD 🤦‍♀️(actually says that in my notes from the time)

Axahooxa · 09/08/2022 23:38

Get a referral from the Gp ASAP as it can take years to get a diagnosis.

PickAChew · 09/08/2022 23:41

How is she at school?

WouldJudasLeaveIt · 09/08/2022 23:43

My son is 7 and is non verbal autistic and only matches the first and last on your list.
It really is such a varied spectrum.

Eightiesfan · 10/08/2022 00:12

My son who has ASD is now 15 and has many of the traits your DD seems to. The walking on tippy toes is something he’s done from a very young age. Plus food issues are similar, he hates foods on his plate touching each other, as he eats each food separately.

My advice is to get her assessed as soon as possible. CAMHS has a huge waiting list, so if you can afford it an option is a private assessment.

if you can get her diagnose before Secondary school, it will make things easier. Some schools have brilliant student support, but others are hopeless. My advice is to make an appointment with the school as soon as your daughter starts.

Ask questions about the support they will offer her. Don’t be afraid to ask if any of the teachers have had specific training in ASD support. Don’t let them fob you off, make sure your daughter gets all the support she needs.

Your daughter will be fine, she might need more monitoring than your other children to make sure her homework is completed. My son is going into Year 11, and I still have to get him to double check that he’s attached his work and/or remembered to click the Hand In button in Google Classroom!

TimWasMeanToMe · 10/08/2022 02:32

My daughter is also 9. She was diagnosed earlier this year. Noticeable traits with her include;
She is very intense and gets obsessive about people, characters, shows etc.
She lacks impulse control around the things she is obsessive about.
She is very emotional.
She gets intrusive thoughts.
She gets really panicked about things, although after she calms down she often can recognise her reaction was not rational.
She has lots of sensory issues around food and clothing. She finds comfort in touching certain things/textures.
She has friends but with increasing issues/difficulties. She is so well meaning but she gets things wrong.
She corrects people when they make a mistake, points out when they’re being rude etc.
She is very concerned about other people and their feelings (sometimes smotheringly so) but she doesn’t read their intent/emotions/non verbal cues well.
She observes how people act and will analyse it/categorise it.
She is very talkative and can be a bit overbearing after a while.
She is very mature in some ways and very young in others.
She does well at school but cries a lot (she doesn’t do this at home much)

I’ve suspected she was autistic since she was about 5. With Dd it has been lots of little red flags rather than being glaringly obvious. We’ve only told a few friends/family so far and they’ve all been surprised.

I’m sorry you’re struggling at the moment. I do understand it. It’s hard thinking about the future and I’m in a similar place myself. My Dd gets by well at the moment, but I worry about her getting closer to secondary school age.

The way I think about it is that there are more dangers associated with having an undiagnosed (or unsuspected) autistic Dd as they grow up than there are having a diagnosed one. Like a pp said undiagnosed girls are often given a BPD label or similar and the treatment given doesn’t reflect their needs and can make things worse.

I also think it’s so easy to get dragged into a worst case scenario way of thinking, and whilst it’s not a bad thing to have awareness about these things, it certainly isn’t the only way life can pan out. In fact it’s more likely it won’t.

herecomesthsun · 10/08/2022 03:40

Does she have special interests? For example my DC with autism has strongly focussed interests, for example, these have included Star Wars, Lego, Marvel films, World Wars I and II. It is in the diagnostic criteria.

You can discuss with your GP- though it is possible just to put in a referral as a parent, which is in some ways easier, and I wish now I had just done that when I first strongly suspected autism when DC was 9 or 10.

The primary school wanted us to wait to see how thing went with the transition to secondary school. The transition was predictably difficult and it would really have helped to have got the ball rolling a bit earlier.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 10/08/2022 08:09

SaharaSahara · 09/08/2022 23:20

@smilingthroughgrittedteeth does it gets better?

Better in what way? He is who he is so his behaviour hasnt changed if anything he has got slightly more challenging as he gets older but our whole life is adapted to make his easier so at home he rarely has meltdowns because theres nothing to trigger him. We meet his sensory needs by using varies items like chewy necklaces etc and he gets support from OT and SALT.

Have you spoken to your daughters school senco?

Blossomandbee · 10/08/2022 08:37

All those are signs of autism.

My DS presented with classic autism, he always had obsessions and intense interests. Soaked up facts about his interests. Didn't 'play' or understand make believe. Never needed sleep. Hated loud noises. He got diagnosed quickly and easily.

My two DD's I'm sure are both autistic but both mask. One masks really well at school and with friends but let's rip with screaming meltdowns at home. The other doesn't mask as well and has lost all friendships.
Both hate loud noises, wear the same outfits over and over, hate new clothes and shoes. Both have limited diets and hate most foods. One shouts out phrases from tv/YouTube and generally has no self awareness.
The battle to get them diagnosed is huge. Waiting lists are now massive and the tests are geared up for boys who generally present differently.