Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Is my friend overreacting or am I underreacting? (GF and her ex).

15 replies

HillyJilly · 08/08/2022 23:41

It isn't really bothering me, but I had a coffee with a friend earlier who was surprised I am not worried/angry. Just interested in opinions.

When my gf and her ex split up (about 6 months before we began seeing one another) they had two dogs. They kept a dog each.

Gf's ex contacted her yesterday saying she can no longer keep the dog, does gf want the dog back. Gf said yes, and they met to walk the dogs together to talk and see if the dogs still accepted one another. They do.

Gf picked the dog up today.

Gf told me that when she met up with ex yesterday, Gf noticed ex didn't have her engagement ring on. Ex has been engaged for a couple of months and as far as Gf knew, was actively planning their wedding. They have mutual friends and live a few streets from one another, It's pretty much common knowledge in a small town.

Ex also asked about me, were we serious, was Gf happy, did she think we'd last among other similar questions. As they were parting, ex apparently grabbed gf for a hug and held on a bit too long. Gf said it made her a bit uncomfortable.

Today when Gf went to collect the dog, she saw both ex and her fiancé. They both had their rings on.

Prior to this, Gf has seen ex in the street a couple of times but they've not spoken.

From what she's told me, ex had cheated and it was a painful breakup.

I just mentioned it to friend as I am pleased she has got her dog back-I knew she was worried dog wasn't being properly cared for, and friend asked me how I felt about her meeting up with her ex. I thought, well It's necessary, how else could she have got the dog back.

Friend was really taken aback that I wasn't in some sort of incandescent rage about all this, as ex obviously wants gf back.

I am quite secure despite the distance, I don't think gf would get back with her ex whether I existed or not. Would it make you angry or is my friend overreacting?

OP posts:
lifelaughloathe · 08/08/2022 23:47

I wouldn't get too wound up about it personally. Even if ex did want GF back it doesn't seem to be mutual and GF has pretty much told you everything.

Now GF has both dogs I imagine she won't really be seeing or talking to EX apart from maybe updating her about the dogs so I couldn't get too upset about it.

Maybeebebe · 08/08/2022 23:50

Unless you're 13 then I wouldn't worry

Joopy · 08/08/2022 23:50

Friend is over-reacting. It's lovely that gf and ex are able to be civil and put the dog first. Your gf told you what happened she's not hiding anything.

TeapotTitties · 08/08/2022 23:52

No it wouldn't make me angry and also, plenty of people take their engagement rings on and off, like any other piece of jewellery.

But something about the whole thing is clearly bothering you, otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread.

You didn't start it because your 'friend' was really taken aback.

HillyJilly · 08/08/2022 23:55

Thank you all.
I really don't think It's mutual :)

I am generally quite calm and often not concerned about things that others are. My friend isn't usually like this though, so I was wondering. I did find it a bit childish @Maybeebebe .

@TeapotTitties that is exactly why I started it

OP posts:
bert3400 · 08/08/2022 23:55

Your friend sounds unhinged, you sound normal and lovely

xJoyfulCalmWisdomx · 08/08/2022 23:56

Your friend is trying to cause upset I think

HillyJilly · 08/08/2022 23:58

Thank you
I've never been particularly jealous or easily annoyed, but then neither has she that I knew of and I've known her a long time. Perhaps she was just having an off day. I changed the subject quickly as she really did seem to think I should be worried or angry.

OP posts:
AlexandriasWindmill · 09/08/2022 00:00

I wouldn't care.
The only part that is odd to me is all the detail about the rings and the hug. I've no idea why you passed every tiny detail on to your friend.
Or if your gf had deliberately brought back details to cause drama and your friend reacted to that.

HillyJilly · 09/08/2022 00:09

AlexandriasWindmill · 09/08/2022 00:00

I wouldn't care.
The only part that is odd to me is all the detail about the rings and the hug. I've no idea why you passed every tiny detail on to your friend.
Or if your gf had deliberately brought back details to cause drama and your friend reacted to that.

I think just because, I was on the 'phone to gf about it as I arrived to see friend, it was fresh in my mind, but I was just chatting, not consciously trying to provoke a reaction.

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 09/08/2022 00:45

The main objectives was the retrieval of the dog, besides what would being, angry achieve ? If lines of communication was opened between your partner and the ex, and you were enraged, then they would just keep it secret, so basically if one will stray then they will regardless.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/08/2022 00:49

Your friend is a shit-stirring drama llama. I fail to see anything worth batting an eyelash over.

HillyJilly · 09/08/2022 03:02

@Hawkins001 I've definitely always beleived that (that someone will stray if they want and being jealous/possessive only serves to make it more likely if anything)!
I'm not worried.
Thanks all :)

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 09/08/2022 04:01

You are right not to be jealous. Apart from it not being healthy, your gf knows her ex is a cheat and doesn't trust them to look after the dog.

HillyJilly · 09/08/2022 06:29

Coyoacan · 09/08/2022 04:01

You are right not to be jealous. Apart from it not being healthy, your gf knows her ex is a cheat and doesn't trust them to look after the dog.

That is true. She doesn't sound like a particularly nice person, but then I am guessing my ex's new gf doesn't think I am either.
The state of the dog proves she hasn't looked after him though :( he's skinny, has fleas...

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread