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Anxious - How to keep calm during your wedding ceremony?

12 replies

Goodnewsday · 08/08/2022 22:45

Over the last few years I seem to have developed a bit of social anxiety in certain situations. It’s like a little voice inside says ‘oh no, what a terrible time this would be for you to get in a fluster’ and my heart will start getting faster, my face feels like it’s going bright red and occasionally it gets so bad it can make me feel like I can barely speak.

I take propranolol before certain situations that I know it’s likely to happen and it helps. I’ve never taken it when drinking but I’m going to have to at my wedding in a few weeks. I’m just terrified I will launch into one of these mini panic attacks mid ceremony, it could so easily be triggered by stories of how we met etc as I might feel embarrassed. It sounds so daft but I’m just trying to pre-empt it before I’m standing there with it happening to me 🙈 Is there anything else I can do or any tricks anyone can suggest to help? I’m almost planning just to completely zone out to try and get through it, I really shouldn’t be dreading it this much!

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 08/08/2022 22:50

I have anxiety and for various reasons my DH is uncomfortable in social situations. We planned our wedding accordingly and only included parts in our wedding that we were both comfortable with and had a brilliant day. You dont have to do anything you are uncomfortable with to get married.

Goodnewsday · 08/08/2022 22:58

@Hellocatshome I have tried to do that by cutting out things like speeches so there’s less attention on us during the meal. It’s purely the ceremony part that I’m really dreading and I’m just hoping it’s over quick 😩 I will be fine after that and can just drink, a lot!

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 08/08/2022 23:08

I can't remember mine, I have a total blank from arriving at the church to arriving at the reception.

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Goodnewsday · 08/08/2022 23:12

@Nat6999 this sounds like what I’m looking for if possible 😂

OP posts:
BobbyBleu · 08/08/2022 23:20

If you tell the registrar how nervous you are, he/she will ensure that you are facing them during most of the ceremony and just turn to face each other for the exchange of the rings.
Lots of people get nervous for the cows but when I conducted weddings I would say just keep looking at me and hold your partners hand and imagine the guests aren't there!!

BobbyBleu · 08/08/2022 23:20

Cows?! Vows !!!!

Dilbertian · 08/08/2022 23:22

Maybe just accept that you will be stressed and your heart will race and you may get in a fluster or stumble over your words. It's absolutely normal. It's OK. You take your time. Breathe. Nobody will judge you for being stressed or showing it. And then the wedding will be over, you'll have survived it, maybe even enjoyed it, and you'll be married and never have to do it again.

Try reminding yourself of this when the scary, catastrophising thoughts intrude.

crochetmeahat · 08/08/2022 23:26

I was super nervous and just focussed almost totally on the vicar which worked quite well. I just thought as long as I just repeat what he says I'll be ok. I just blanked out the guests. We had our back to them which I also recommend
My husband made me laugh though at one point which helped a lot.

SeekingTact · 08/08/2022 23:48

@Goodnewsday - I feel you. I’ve done the same. Chat to your pharmacist - I believe a moderate amount of alcohol doesn’t affect the propranolol. Perhaps you can trial it. Before the day.

Bringon2023 · 09/08/2022 00:03

I was really anxious and was worried about fainting! So we chose vows that were as short as possible and didn't have any readings etc. The week before the wedding I watched lots of YouTube videos of people getting married and worked on visualising myself walking down the aisle. That helped me feel more prepared and so I could be on autopilot on the day! The two glasses of bucks fizz in the morning helped too and probably the adrenaline rush got me through. I actually blanked out most the ceremony and my DH is annoyed I can't remember it now!

Nat6999 · 09/08/2022 00:06

Goodnewsday in my heart of hearts I didn't really want to marry him, I had tried to dump him a few months before the wedding but he threatened to kill himself if I did, I should have had more sense. I can't remember a lot of the reception but that was because I drank to forget.

twoandcooplease · 09/08/2022 02:06

I might be wrong but doesn't propanalol work better when built up rather than before an anxious situ?
I'm of absolutely no help because I just don't go to things that make me anxious. Obviously with it being your wedding that's not going to work. I'd run away to Gretna

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