I’ve just been dumped

[Wearpantsffs]

By someone I really thought cared.
can I have a hand hold please?

Have woken feeling sick.
we last spoke over week ago. I thought things were ok, we’d had a row about my neediness and he was a bit distant maybe looking back, he was off on holiday- he’s had a mega stressful time lately. I said have an amazing time, don’t feel you have to be in touch, just focus on you and I’ll see you when you’re back. And I heard nothing which was ok - little bit surprising as we usually speak a lot, but I’d said not to after all. And then he comes back and nothing. I sent a bland text and nothing. Starts to slowly dawn on me that he’s ghosting. And that’s been that since.

I really hope he’s ok and part of me wants to message and check in but that’s a bad idea, isn’t it?

I'd just like to add a lot of the tune women are called 'needy' when in reality they're responding normally to the affection a partner is showing them. Then when the partner goes cold they're left with feeling bonded. Why feign affection for someone it's just cruel and fake and ultimately makes a mess of things.

OP I've seen your morning update and you are having a hard time. I'm having a similarly hard time at the moment for a slightly different reason so we're in similar boats emotionally. You have to let yourself be sad if needed but only for a limited time. The best thing is to focus your attention on fun and interesting things, don't dwell.

*a lot of the time
I bloody hate this phone

Him saying you were needy is him meaning he couldn't be bothered to show you more affectionation than the basic level to keep you hanging on for more. What an arse ,you are worth so much more never forget that. Be kind to yourself I don't think for one minute it was you.

Men are bastards at times and I've never come across one who wasn't in one way or another. I am for now bowing out of it all and staying single after years of this shit.

You will feel better in a few days but please keep some dignity in it all and don't reach out to him as hard as I know that is. It will just cement what he believes in his mind . That you are needy, not the fact he's been incredibly cruel he will twist it on you because he's a coward.

You know what's so weird, is that I have left the door so wide open for him to finish it for months now - as i say, he's been under a lot of stress and I've said SO many times, look, if you just can't give me this at the moment that's ok but I just need to know.

So why ghost me?

My deep urge is to ring and say just bloody tell me. Tell me so I can move on. But he won't pick up, I know that. And the fact he's not even visible on the app we use tells me everything I need to know, doesn't it?

So I'm just spilling it all out here so I don't make (more of) a fool out of myself

Ahhhh it sucks.
Chin up.. you'll get through this!!

Just remember if things have been this hard in the early days imagine having to put up with such bollocks in the long run. Who wants that really and let's be honest plenty of people are in long term relationships that do them no good.

We are here to listen to you vent, so whenever you feel you need it just do so.

That's very wise advice, thank you.
I think I'm more shocked than anything else. It's been a year, and to end like this...I've gone well out of my way to be kind and helpful and supportive, like a fucking massive needy twat and this is what I end up with.

That is quite a long time and you don't deserve for it to end so poorly, especially given that you've asked for him to be clear. That's a brave thing to do. I'm sorry that he's been so horrible but you need to remind yourself that it isn't because of you and try to gently shift your thoughts away from thinking about it too much. If you can, do something different to what you usually do whether that's treating yourself in a special way or trying something new even something small like going to a different shop as it will be a great distraction and keep your mind occupied while you process things emotionally.

Ghosting you was a really really nasty way for him to end the relationship. Cruel.

There are much better men around OP. Be glad you aren’t ending up with this nasty person.